If you wish to look at me like I am a thug... be my guest. I can't change my skin but I can change my values,and I refuse to change them for you,or anyone. I am not weak because I know the difference between right and wrong. I am not sensitive because I refuse to answer to the 'N' word. I just want people to treat me the way that I treat them and I don't treat people like trash. I try not to delight in the 'funny' racial jokes that people say because I know that words can destroy a person.How many 'jokes' does a person have to tell to know they definitely are not funny.How many comments does a person have to utter before they realize that your smile is fake,you're hurting, on the inside you're really crying? I can forget facts as I often tend to do but I remember most of what a person has said to me. I can even remember events in kindergarten and a little back from then because words sometimes have more value than money. So many bad things have happened from a whisper and some people are so bent on putting others down for the sake of knowing that they might have supporters. People forget that I have ears because when they talk about me I can hear. If people talk in front, behind, or significantly around me I know.They talk about 'that girl' and I know who they mean.I analyze everything so carefully that I tend to over-think.Sometimes I hear invisible criticism and I eventually find out that it is only in my head but the words that are said are all not familiar. They spring from the past, literature, or history and its views. Once when I was little I was not afraid to meet the stares with my wondering gaze. I guess now that I am older people see me as a threat and maybe it's my fault. I walk with my feet to close to the ground,I always use my imagination,I dream of what I can accomplish,I can run so freely that I forget I am running.I do admit that yes I am weird but with my own definition. Weird is not following the trends,daring to be yourself, and weird is standing up because you don't want to be anyone else. There is discrimination but now it is more secret. It is a snake blending in with the background. I am not black.... I am brown skinned. I am not to be described as just 'dark' but I will describe myself as beautiful. We are all ugly until we understand that everyone is beautiful.Skin is just an outer covering. Skin color is just an excuse for people to not move past to other things that actually matter like WORLD HUNGER and HUMAN RIGHTS. People are different so we can learn that beauty does not come in one shade or mass-marketed brand.
If you wish
July 27, 2011