Once upon a time, many Americans, after witnessing a common recent event, wondered if more gun control was the answer to reducing gun violence. However, others disagreed and argued that guns are important for self-defense and are our constitutional right as citizens of the United States of America. Therefore, they argued gun laws should stay the same. Obviously, neither of these approaches are working; instead, guns need to be given for free to everyone.
They should be given to every person living in the United States without doing any background checks, especially children and teenagers since they are the most vulnerable in mass shootings. Yes, I understand that this plan may seem absurd, but hear me out. This is a second amendment right, so everyone should own a gun. Because everyone will have a gun, there certain authorities should carry military assault rifles just in case of an uprising.
There are many benefits of giving guns to everyone. The most important benefit is population control. Once everyone has a gun, it will be easier for people to kill others. This will reduce our impact on the environment because there will be fewer people to hurt the animals and plants. This proposal will kill two birds with one stone: we will get to exercise our second amendment rights and also help the environment.
Another benefit is that people will become expert marksmen. Toddlers can practice shooting under the watchful eye of their parents so that when they get their own gun at, say, age five to begin kindergarten, they are able to effectively protect themselves from the horrors of the world. Eventually, they could even own multiple guns and walk into a bar feeling like the main character from any wild west movie. In the case of an invasion, people will be prepared for the worst. If the U.S. was invaded, we would be able to defend ourselves without the use of an army.
This plan would also benefit the economy. We would not need to spend as much money on the military. Instead citizens can defend themselves in the case of a war. Giving guns to everyone for free might seem like it will push gun companies into debt, but actually this will help them. Gun owners that are given a gun will have to buy ammunition. And the one gun they are given will likely only increase their appetite for more guns. This means that gun owners will be coming back to gun stores often, increasing their business and making gun companies a more important part of our culture.
Yes, I understand that giving guns to everyone may still seem extreme. Although giving guns to the whole population has many benefits, some people may not agree. They might think, for instance, that it is not helpful for mentally ill people to have them. But we can periodically screen people for mental illness like the intensive eye exams we give for driver’s license renewals. And requiring people to carry gun licenses will be a bonus to government revenue. Some people may simply not want a gun. These people can opt out of having a gun and give it to someone else. If a person does not want to own a gun, they do not have to participate. However, this will put them at a disadvantage because they can be killed more easily. There are also commonly found weapons like knives, baseball bats, and curling irons they could use in the case of an attack although guns are the easiest way to kill people because they don’t require the assailant to physically interact with their prey.
Guns should be mass distributed instead of other weapons because even though they might be hard to control, people feel safer with guns. Guns are more destructive than knives and keep you safer because you can kill anyone who threatens you. It is also easier to kill animals that may threaten you, so in the event you are being chased by a dragonfly, you can shoot it and your problem will be solved.
What other options are there to fix our gun problems? There is no better solution than this one. It takes everyone’s concerns into account while staying true to American values. It takes into consideration people who might not want to own a gun. Guns should be given to everyone to help reduce the population, produce more expert marksmen, and increase revenue. Son of a gun.