The End of Net Neutrality

April 13, 2017
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Net neutrality, having long outlived it’s use, is finally on its last leg. Net neutrality is the regulation preventing internet service providers (ISPs) such as Comcast and AT&T from controlling what websites are accessible to consumers.

Donald Trump, President-Elect, is calling to “eliminate our most intrusive regulations” using the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), which will be assigned a new head under Trump’s administration (likely candidates include Baron Trump).

The FCC was previously run by Tom Wheeler, who sold companies internet “fast lanes” (or faster loading times for only specific websites) under the name LolzandTrollz.

The Head of Harmony Act of Cautiously Keeping our Electronic Rights Society (HACKERS) has stated that net neutrality is key to keeping the internet for everyone and “how else could the American people read my blog about the adventures of My Little Pony and the devil.”

On the other side, CEO-Elect of Comcast Moné Grabber has stated that “net neutrality is flawed and is bad for free market. If the American people could access any part of the internet from our ISP, how can we prevent them from finding out that other companies provide customer service in only four hours, a standard we simply cannot keep up with?”

Other past proponents of net neutrality, including the FCC (not affiliated with the Trump Administration’s FCC), have worried that conglomerate ISPs will hold a monopoly over parts of the country, and costs will rise exponentially. The graph below is from AT&T’s annual report (Basic Plan includes AOL Mail, Yahoo Search, and 90s Flash websites) :

Donald Trump has managed to unite the country with his stance on the issue, assuring all who had concerns that he has “the best people” on it. No further questions were asked, as they were deemed unnecessary, and any who tried were called “losers.” Furthermore, he said of the CNN reporter who refused to accept Trump’s superior reasoning that “maybe he should have been roughed up."

Other Republicans have agreed with the Donald, notably Ted Cruz, who has called net neutrality: “Obamacare for the Internet.”

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AVM1427This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 4 at 12:28 pm
Nice satirical post, I did a similar one. This was really well done and made me laugh!
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