Dear President Trump:
My name is Jacob E., and I am a high school senior from Sacramento, CA. I am writing to you to express a troubling concern I have with your choice for Head of Department of Health and Human Services, Tom Price. In an interview with Chris Wallace on “Fox News Sunday”, you stated that you believe you are “going to have one of the great cabinets ever put together”. Yet, I am concerned that Mr. Price’s qualifications do not match this vision that you have set for your presidency. In her U.S. News article “Trump Picks Obamacare Critic to Lead HHS”, Kimberly Leonard mentions Price’s history as an orthopedic surgeon and six-year tenure in Congress. He has experience in only one facet in both health and politics, and I am worried that this narrow perspective on health and politics will make him a poor choice for this position. You need a leader who will match the level of professionalism and experience of your other cabinet picks, such as Betsy DeVos and Jeff Sessions. This is why I implore you to consider Lindsay Lohan for Head of Department of Health and Human Services due to her wide experience within the healthcare system.
There is hardly a better choice than Ms. Lohan for this position, especially given her frequent involvement with rehabilitation services. Rachel Osmon uses her Daily Beast article “Lindsay Lohan and Rehab: A Look at Their Long-Term Relationship” as a convenient record of Ms. Lohan’s time in rehab. Ms. Lohan’s extraordinary amount of experience with the rehabilitation services industry undeniably proves her competency for this position. She has spent over 450 days in rehab, and has no doubt spent this time acquiring valuable knowledge and insight regarding the industry and its mission. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, Ms. Lohan spoke about her arrest and time in rehab in 2010, and she said that she “started to change a lot of things after that”. It is clear that these experiences have had an enormous impact on her life, and it has shaped her into the person she is today. Tom Price could never compete with her advanced level of experience and understanding of the system, and her incredibly perceptive view of healthcare makes her the overwhelmingly better choice for this position.
Mr. Trump, I know you are a bigly intelligent person, and I am confident you do not need any more persuasion regarding the ironclad logic behind my proposal. I do, however, feel obligated to address some potential, yet unlikely, skepticism from your team. They may feel my criticism of Mr. Price’s limited knowledge of healthcare may also apply to Lindsay Lohan, as I have only highlighted one aspect of her healthcare experience. They fail to take into account all of Ms. Lohan’s incredible charity work, and according to the website Look to the Stars, she has donated to and worked with the health organizations American Red Cross and American Foundation for AIDS Research. Not only does this demonstrate her generosity, but it also extends her healthcare experience to STI research and prevention, as well as emergency and trauma care. I used the precedent of your pick for Head of Department of Education, Betsy DeVos, to reach this conclusion. Brian Kelsey highlights her qualifications in his The Tennesean article, “Betsy DeVos highly qualified to be education secretary”, saying that she was the founder of the American Federation for Children, which is “a national organization focused on providing greater school choice to parents”. Ms. DeVos and Ms. Lohan have both contributed to organizations and charities related to their field of work, so it stands to reason that they both are highly qualified picks for their respective positions.
I do understand that Ms. Lohan’s past behavior may raise a few eyebrows, yet I am confident that you will be able to see past this minor grievance, since you already have done so with your pick for Attorney General, Jeff Sessions. Why, you were even able to forgive him for racially insensitive comments, such as when he said that “the NAACP, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, Operation PUSH and the National Conference of Churches were all un-American organizations teaching anti-American values”, as was reported in the CNN article, “Jeff Sessions dogged by old allegations of racism”. These organizations promote universally treasured values like equality, love, and acceptance, and Mr. Sessions has clearly said some regrettable things about them in the past. Yet, you have found it in your heart to forgive him and give him a position of great importance, and I am sure you will be able look past Ms. Lohan’s behavioral missteps just as you have with Mr. Sessions’.
The last, and arguably most ridiculous, potential criticism of Ms. Lohan is her obvious lack of experience as an elected official, but I cannot imagine anyone on your team ever coming up with such an absurd argument. You, of all people, should understand that it takes so much more than political experience to be a great leader. Your groundbreaking victory in the Presidential Election proves that one does not need any political experience to lead this country, so I am sure there will be no opposition from yourself regarding this topic.
These are very turbulent times, Mr. President, and it is your job to make sure that the people in your cabinet are competent and qualified. You have an incredible opportunity to provide the American people with leaders they can trust, and I feel you have not been taking enough advantage of this responsibility. I encourage you to really take a look at who you are choosing and how they reflect not only your presidency, but the entire United States of America. I hope you will deeply consider my proposal, and I thank you for your time.