A Modest Proposal: A Satirical Solution for College Tuition

November 11, 2016
By BrendenKlich BRONZE, Freeland, Michigan
BrendenKlich BRONZE, Freeland, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 0 comments


It is a melancholy object to the young people trying to get ahead in life by going to college and pursuing a healthy, wealthy career. Graduating from college is the first step to the american dream however, it is becoming harder and harder every year. The younger generation are the people of tomorrow and without them the world would not revolve.  How are they supposed to keep the world revolving when as soon as they get out of college and start their lives they are in debt.  If the conflict of high college tuition and these young people going into debt is not solved then pretty soon, just like our government, we will be a country full of people in debt.

I think it is agreed by all parties that the life-threatening occurrence of college tuition is a very important topic and it should stop getting pricier and pricier every year. If anyone could possibly find a way to get rid of this impossible to stop problem they should become king of America if not the world.

But my intention is far from being confined to provide only for the better of the future generations; it is way more than just that, it will enable everyone to be free from debt which will make everyone ecstatically happy and there won’t be any sadness in the world.

As to my own part, I have studied the proposals of other projectors, and concluded that they are not nearly as efficient as they claim to be. Many of these other solutions won’t fix the problem as fast as my solution. Take this for example, “in 2014 obama signed a new presidential memorandum to propose regulations  that would allow an additional nearly 5 million federal direct student loan borrowers the opportunity to cap their student loan payments at 10 percent of their income.” (Whitehouse) This was proposed over two years ago and hardly anything has changed whereas with my plan things will change faster than you can snap your fingers. If this issue of high college tuition isn’t put to an end soon then not only will every American be in debt but soon so will the whole world.

I will now present my own idea, which I hope will not be subject to any disagreement.

I humbly offer it to public consideration that humankind as a cohesive and cooperative unit, should simply not pay any college tuition at all. It’s pretty obvious that no one wants to pay for anything, especially when the prices are through the roof. Everyone will be on board with this and I mean everyone. This would be very easy to accomplish all that would need to happen is a signature from every college in America to be on board and we would be set.

In this scenario all the colleges have signed onto and fully agreed with this. After this has happened every college student would have money to spend on anything they want and once that graduate from college and go out into the real world they will actually have money instead of being $30,000 in debt.

Of course some colleges will not be fully on board with this so in order to prevent this every college student in a college that doesn’t sign onto this idea will just take the problems of debt to their parents. The students will simply have the parents pay or have them take out loans and go into debt. The parents have already lived most of their lives so taking on a ton of debt shouldn’t be that big of a deal.

These drastic and sudden changes will most certainly cause a lot of parents to go into debt unless they are rich. However, if all the parents in America would just come together and realize that their children are more important than them and that the children are the people of the future then there would be no problems with this solution to such a heartbreaking problem.

I can think of no valid objection that may be introduced to antagonize this proposal unless it should be claimed that colleges won’t be able to get enough money to support themselves if either of these solutions is implemented. However, if the reader of this would come to realize how important this insane problem is and how much it needs to be fixed then they will understand that I, as well as many other Americans are willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that this task is achieved.  

Again, no one should dare to suggest these notions to me until they have a small spark of hope that these actions may be implemented.

It is not that I do not respect the input of others on the subject of solutions to this topic, but simply that I have spent an unsettling amount of weeks and months researching this distressing topic and I have worked extremely hard coming up with a feasible solution. This is the only solution that will work because Obama and many others have come up with ways to fix this problem but if you look at why I am writing this essay it is simply for the fact that this problem has not been fixed.

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