Fierce Quake Devastates Haitian Capital

May 6, 2010
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This article is about the Haiti and the devastations they had to endure after the tremendous earthquake had hit. The earthquake happened last Tuesday with the magnitude estimated to be at least 7.0. The catastrophe that had happened left people dieing slowly with all the buildings collapsing on them. There were many survivors and the problem is how will they get their food and what will happen to the dead people. The people all over the world are trying to help with clothes, food, money, etc. They, the people need our help to bring their country back. Even though they are the poorest country in the western hemisphere, everyone is trying to help and bring their capital back. Not mentioning the only hospital collapsing and much housing to be collapsing.

Lots of people were dead; the estimate would be roughly around 100,000. Everyone in this city is scared, depressed, and homeless…not knowing where to go or stay. There’s not a lot of food and other countries or exporting them goods but the only problem is that there is only one major airplane line and that got damaged. We, as a nation are exporting goods, medicine, food, clothing, etc. The parents not knowing where to bring their children who are dieing or a live but need medical help. Dads, who are carrying young ones that are dead, and the morose of the people losing their love ones!

As a nation of equals we, the people are trying to help. Even though it will take years for Haiti to rebuild buildings we will try our best. The people should always help other people in need, and if we don’t help as a nation things will start to get rough and having lots of fights. “We are in trauma,” he said. “We have loved ones there and many of them will be victims. We’re calling and calling, but there’s nothing on the other end.”

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the_Horsegirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 22, 2010 at 4:33 pm

Good artical, but your opening paragraph could be a lot stronger, and be better at pulling the reader in. Also, While you include good details, you argument at the end is not very strong either (about why/how we should help Haiti.) Finally, a construction issue: in the second paragraph, the third sentence is a little weird and I'm not sure what's is supposed to say.

However, you seem like a good writer, and overall the flow of this piece is good. I also have been following the Haiti st... (more »)

Michelle.B replied...
May 23, 2010 at 9:54 am
thanks... this was school work--- this is not my thing usually so I try and weave everything in together if I don't get it!!! I was reading an article and it was so confusing
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