I've always wanted to believe in someone, so that i could go to that person whenever i was in need of help. I wanted to believe in that something so much, that my faith could get me through any situation, regardless of how terrible it was. Everyone needs something to look up to, something to lean on when noone's there. Right now, i don't know what i believe in. Certainly not God. The world is a total disaster, we fight violence with violence, destruction is supposed to make things better in the end. How can i believe that there's some guy up there above all the clouds, floating around in the sky, with so many powers and capabilities, all of which he doesn't seem to put to use? Our world is filled with so many tragedies, and horrible events, that i wonder if there really is someone up there. How could he just sit back and watch all these crimes happen? How could he allow such violence to occur? If there really is a God, why did he make us all different races, knowing that it would cause such drama? Knowing that people would end being killed because of the color of their skin, a color that cannot be changed? Why would someone create a world that cannot function without breaking the rules? A world that commits so many crimes day after day, and manage to rarely get caught. How can someone call himself God, when he doesn't do a single thing. I would like to think that this God character, watches over everyone, helps miracles happen, and makes sure that the bad guys get caught. I would hope that God would have the power to strike people down with lightning whenever someone robbed a little old lady, or killed their ex-girlfriend. God should live up to this sort of almighty power that is talked about constantly. I find it hard to believe in something, that allows innocent people to die terrible deaths. Someone that allows young children to get diagnosed with untreatable diseases, or abused by the people that raise them. If there really is a God he shouldn't allow this. I would like to believe in a God that wouldn't allow our world to be like this. I don't know what i believe in now, but it's certainly not God.