so i watched the world being reborn till one a.m.

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If I ruled the world then life would be pretty awesome, at least after a while, ‘cause I’d probably make tons of mistakes at first, ‘cause that’s what happens when you try something new, but eventually I’d work it out and everything would be alright, even if it took a while ‘cause see, I’d have all the time in the world to do it in. I’d never run out of time, I’d make it so I’d never run out of time, and so I’d be able to make the world perfect and fix all those little problems.

Life would be awesome because I could sleep in more, I could sleep ‘till noon every morning of every day and I’d never be late to school, not ever, because that’s when school would start. And yes we’d still have school, we do actually need it for a reason, but the school would actually work and it’d teach us stuff that we really had to know, not all this useless math about triangles and things. Because what use is all that, really? I mean, triangles. Useful if you're an engineer or something, sure, but I'm not going to be an engineer and even if I do end up doing that somehow I'd probably have forgotten about all this Geometry anyway. In my world we'd never have to learn any of it. They’d teach us real things, right, about how the world works and how to deal when it doesn’t go your way; you know, useful stuff. Because people need to learn that, seriously, nobody has any common sense anymore ‘cause they’re too busy teaching us useless math and old history that's not even relevant anymore to get around to that.

So school would start around, what did I say again? Twelve thirty in the afternoon, that sounds good, right? And it wouldn’t go on for that long, since they wouldn’t need to waste all that time teaching us useless things anymore, they could probably cut out most of English class altogether, really, because all we learn there, besides the adjective clause stuff, I mean, is to read and analyze and whatever books, which kind of defeats the purpose of books, don’t you think? ‘Cause I don’t know about you, but when I get stuck writing out the theme of the book I’m reading I start wishing I weren’t reading it anymore, and I certainly am not enjoying it. And I’m not sure what books are supposed to be for except for enjoying them, so in my world nobody would try to make you read something just so that you could analyze every little tiny miniscule detail of it and ruin it, you’d only have to read stuff for fun.

You know, I never thought about it, but I guess I could be king or queen or supreme dictator or something, if I ruled the world. I guess that should have been obvious, but to be perfectly honest, I’m not all that interested in that sort of thing. Being supreme dictator would be hard, I’ll bet, and I’d never have time to hang out with my friends, and what fun would that be? I think I’d stay just the same as I am now, ‘cause I like how I am now, really. It’s just the world around me that could use some help, is all.

Okay, maybe I should have mentioned this bit first, but yeah, if I was in charge of the world then nobody would be at war with each other and we’d have world peace. I’d like to say that’s the first thing that came to mind but obviously it’s not, I’m guess I’m not all that selfless after all, though I never really thought that I was. Still, no fighting. I’m not sure how that’s even possible, but I’m sure if I was in charge of the world I’d be able to work out a way that didn’t involve offing all but one person, ‘cause from where I stand that’s the only way we’d ever stop fighting. Not a real cheery thought, but I’m sure there’d be some way, I guess. Hey, if I ever end up somehow ruling the world then I guess that’d mean anything’s possible, so why not.

Which is not to say that I think anything is possible, because frankly I don’t, and I think that if I tried to make people nicer or kinder or something like that, well, I don’t think it would really work. I mean, yeah, in charge of the world and all that, but people are who they are and there’s just something wrong about changing that. ‘Cause even if you think it’s for the better, you might be wrong because people can be wrong, they do it a lot, really, I’ve seen it, and then you could completely mess up the essence of who someone is and how can that be right? Even if they’re horrible people, maybe the world needs people like that, you know, balance. And maybe not, but it’s still not my job to judge people and I’d never change someone’s personality, not ever, even if they were the worst people alive. Maybe that’s just me. But if I were in charge of the world I wouldn’t change who people were, it seems like a good idea, I guess, make the world a better place and all, but something about it just sits wrong with me.

I’d make Pluto a planet again if I were in charge of the world, ‘cause Pluto, the dog I mean, from the Disney cartoons, must be feeling pretty bad about the fact that his name isn’t even a planet anymore. Technically it’s still a Roman god, I guess, but everyone thinks of Hades before they think of Pluto anyway, and they’d think of Pluto as a planet and not a god, but now Pluto is just Random Astroid Number Whatever. I wonder if they had to rename Pluto (the dog) Random Astroid Number Whatever. Well, if they did, I’d change that too.

And another thing, if I was in charge of the world then airplane security wouldn’t be so annoying to get through. I mean, if there was world peace and all, then we wouldn’t really need it for anything, right? And flights would actually take off on time, and they wouldn’t get delayed or cancelled by the weather because, oh I don’t know, they’d be impervious to inclement weather, how ‘bout that. I dunno if that would really fly when it comes to thing like hurricanes and massive really big storms, but I guess in my world you wouldn’t have any major natural disasters, you know, the kind that kill people. I think that might screw up the way the world works, now that I think about it, I mean with weather patterns and butterfly wings and everything, but I guess I’d make it so that wouldn’t be a problem either. Hopefully it wouldn’t start some slippery slope that would destroy the earth, ‘cause that would be kind of unfortunate, and, uh, really really bad.

Hey, I said that I would probably make a whole bunch of mistakes. I doubt that’d happen, anyway. And even if it did, I’d just make it so that it didn’t. Since I’d be in charge of the earth and all. It’d still be a bit, uh, jarring, I’d bet, so I guess I ought to try and avoid the whole destroying the earth thing. I mean, duh, but still. I’ll make a mental note of that, then.

So I guess if I was in charge of the world I’d just be running blindly through it without a clue in my head about what in the world I was supposed to do or how I was supposed to do it or any of that, but I’d have to keep going anyway or else I’d die, like a shark (I think, anyway, sharks die if they stop swimming, right? Or is that dolphins? No, I’m pretty sure it’s sharks.), and I’d probably screw up a whole lot, but that’s pretty much how everyone lives life anyway, unless they’re omniscient or something weird, so hey, maybe it wouldn’t be so different after all, you know?





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