Namesakes and Meaning

January 20, 2014
Waking up is easy. I was born knowing I was going to be famous. When I was younger, I stared in awe at all the actors in the shows I adored. Taking in all the different genres of acting. I was even in an acting class. I felt accepted. Embraced by those like me. That feeling carries me to stardom. This is my direction. There is no turning back. I will be famous.
Waking up is easy. It’s another chance to entertain my friends. Crazy is how they describe me. Weird…and strange. I am that ball in the pinball machine, waiting for something to trigger my spark/flare for the day. Surprises are nice. Random high fives to peers in the hallways or slipping into weird dialects. Just some of the silly things I do. Or the times when I’m melodramatic, like when I get in over my head about some crush or some stupid conflict that arose throughout the day. “My life is over” or “I’m done. I give up” are just a couple silly things I’ve uttered for random insignificant reasons. It changes daily. Sometimes hourly.
If I’m a star, then it must be my personality that shines. That sounds like an oxymoron coming from what used to be-and at moments can be- that shy kid in the corner. The one who had to get his partner picked by a teacher because no one wanted to be with him or knew him. But not anymore. That kid came out, and progressively became himself. Hearing whispers about his sexuality drove him to let go. Over time the petty whispers and gossip didn’t bother him. They were mere occurrences and minute details that didn’t have an effect on him. He knew who he was. He embraced what made him different. Others didn’t control his life any longer. He did.

I face each day with positivity. The problem? Going to bed. Thoughts zoom. Clouding out the negative-there’s no room for that nonsense- and bringing in the positive. Just thinking of the possibilities when I become famous postpones my bedtime, like what movies I want to be in. Thrillers or action? And if I want Broadway or film, or if the love of my life will sweep me off my feet. When….and where?! Between these thoughts and others, i can’t figure out how I sleep at all. But hey…waking up is easy.

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