Guys, Girls, and Self-Respect

October 22, 2008
By Stephanie Garcia, Mableton, GA

Hello Girls,

What is it about guys that make us tick?

I have never had a boyfriend, and I think I am more happy this way. If you look at the majority of guys, they're all the same, right? They drink, smoke, treat girls unfairly, and they can be really degrading. I have had enough of those kind of guys around in my lifetime to know that is not the kind of person who I want to be with in the future.

The girls, I believe, provoke the guys, too! They wear mini skirts, shirts that show off all their cleavage, and they're basically selling themselves cheap. If a guy gets with you because you got a "sexy" body and what not, then It's not love. The relationship will basically not get anywhere. There is more to a Girl then just how she takes care of herself physically. It's how she takes care of herself mentally, too. If she is pretty *and* has a rocking personality, then why not? You have it made for you. Guys don't care about a girls personality or brains anymore though. So we have to make it our goal to show them.

Back then, girls would cover themselves. They would wear hats, gloves, long gowns/dresses, stockings, etc. and the guys had much decency and respect for them. They saw their inner beauty, her brains, and her sparkling personality. That was very attractive. The guys were well groomed. They never got really drunk. They never treated their ladies like animals. They had good manners and class.

It's either guys don't care anymore... or girls have just lost their self-respect.

Don't get me wrong though. I'm not just blaming the girls. There are also shows that can provoke this kind of behavior, such as Family Guy. The other night I was watching it and it was teaching that Girls like it when their men treat them like dirt. They get off on it!! Can you believe it? KIDS watch this show now. My brother has a 12 year old friend and he watches Family Guy, and if that is not worse enough, he also watchs Southpark. Parents are too busy now a days. They never pay attention to what their kids are doing. I personally think that no kid under the age of 18 should be revealed to such shows. I think it's best because younger kids will follow that advice. They don't know any better. Can you see why our world is so messed up?? It's the television programs, the parents, and the lack of discipline.

With the way the people are now a days, I can't find any decent friends, and It will probably take me years to find that one perfect guy. Isn't that a disgrace? My mom brought me up to believe I deserve the best. I do so much, and I don't deserve to be walked on by anyone. I made myself the best I could possibly be becase I c-a-r-e!!! Nobody cares anymore, so that's a big thing. I am no average 17 year old. You don't see me pregnant, drinking, smoking, sick, or anything else. I passed my rebel stages early on and I am just maturing quicker then most. Everything I do.. others would complain until hell froze over if their parents asked them to do it. I am not saying that I want everyone to be lil miss angel like me, Or for everyone to follow the rule book word for word. I go off track every now and then but I have people who love and care for me to pull me back, and I always get back on my feet.

Look when guys use to give flowers to their girlfriends/wives just because they loved them, or opened the doors for them, cooked and helped them clean, or when they use to lay their jackets over a puddle so the lady can pass. *sigh* It was so romantic.

Now guys are like pigs. They are selfish, only think of their needs, treat their "ladies" like animals... they cage them up, beat them. The world has changed. You give your opinion and someone, somewhere will jump down your throat for it. Girls sell themselves cheap. Guys bring shame to my faces.

My cousin Nicole was with a guy who hit her and treat her the worst. He tried everything to make her miserable, but Nicole was weak and said she loved him and couldn't live without him. I thought that was sad!!! I made her realize she doesn't need him to be happy, and that she can certainly move on, and that she does NOT need someone like that treating her that way. She doesn't deserve it!! She finally dumped him and is moving on.

You don't need to be with a guy like that. As long as you know where you stand in life, and what type of person you are, and you don't let people push you around, then you know the kind of guy you want. Don't just settle for anyone. Their are many fish in the sea, and I know your one prince is in there somewhere. If you have low-self esteem then you'll just get with anyone. Any guy who says the least sweetest thing to you, or shows one small corteous action, you'll fall for them, and I know this from experience.
I had low self-esteem before. I didn't think I was pretty, or good enough or deserved anything more then who I was falling for. The guys I was falling for was in the worse position. They drank, smoked, had a messed up family, failed at school, and had no ambitions but I didn't feel that I was complete without them. YOU need to realize your worth before you go out and start dating. The reason you get in abusive relationships or relationships where you are not happy are all becase of you. It's not the guys fault, but yours. You could have chosen not to get with them, but you did. Why? Because you wanted the attention. You were missing something else in your life.

I broke away from that. I realized that I have a great and supportive family, a good head on my shoulders, and a bright future ahead of me. I am keeping my head where it is. I am focusing on my Education because without it you're nothing. You should get what you want out of life before you focus your attention on the guys. Once you're in a relationship, it can become really hard. Your head is just not there anymore and all you ever want to do it be with that person. You don't care where you are in life. Then before you know it, that so called "special person" dumps you and what do you have to fall back on? Pretty looks? I don't think so.

You respect and love yourself, others will learn to do the same. If you don't, then guys are going to think they can walk all over you. So love, respect, take care of yourself, and educate your mind... then you can go have fun with dating and what not. Always put yourself ahead of anyone else. You are more important! If you feel you have a empty place in your heart, search what it might be BEFORE you start getting involved with guys. It may not be the guy you're missing because you were doing fine without them before. So why now? Maybe it's a peice of YOU that you are missing. Maybe it's connection with a family member that you have lost? Maybe you are not feeling complete because you are distancing yourself from your family? Get out, have fun, and *Educate* yourself, and you'll do fine. I am 18 and I have done it. Why can't you?


The decisions you make now will affect you in the future. It's time for you to start acting like an adult.

I see pictures of girls on myspace everywhere with indecent exposure. Those are the girls that need help! And then they wonder why they get treated the way they do. They bring it on themselves. R-E-S-P-E-C-T...... look it up in the dictionary. Have it for yourself, and others will do the same. Hold yourself high, have class, (don't be stuck-up) but show people that you deserve the best and you are not to be messed with. We are just as strong as we were 10 centuries ago...

Don't give up now. Don't become lazy. Work for what you want. Be positive. Look for the best in people, be true to yourself, and don't depend on others!!

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This article has 2 comments.

on Apr. 5 2009 at 8:59 pm
Vexa_Rave SILVER, Mt. Clare, West Virginia
9 articles 0 photos 57 comments
this was a good article, and you made a VERY good point (trust me), but i didn't like it how you made ALL guys seem like pigs. yes, there are some that are like that, but there are plenty of gentlemen, too, if you're willing to look. it just seemed a bit stereotypical to me. other than that, this was a great article that could convince some girls to not hang all over guys and expose themselves. my cousin's twenty and has never had a boyfriend, and she's perfectly fine in life. so in general, i agree with you. ^_^

on Mar. 22 2009 at 6:59 pm
I deal with wachting one of my friends who has low self respect


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