May 17, 2008
By Fernando Garcia, Brookline, MA

This is how you support your homeland- by leaving it; this is how you convince yourself it’s all going to be great when you know it is not going to be great; this is how you come to a foreign country-lost and scared; this is how to look for a job; this is how to look for a job that nobody else wants; this is how you convince the managers you are able to do the job; this is how you tell your manager you didn’t steal money from the cashier machine; this is how to say “I don’t understand” in English; but I do understand; this is how you make your kids think you have money when you don’t; this is what to do when you have money; this is how you make your shirt look clean when it isn’t; this is how to find the cheapest deal without anybody calling you greedy; this is how you make sure to learn a new language- by speaking your native one ; but I do try to learn; work hard- it will keep the managers from firing you; yet, make sure you don’t work too hard- your labor isn’t appreciated; make sure you work you work all the time and that you don’t slack off- your whole family is counting on you; get a job that isn’t too good; people will be shocked to see you in a suit; college is completely out of your reach, if you do go to college you will become one of those greedy, arrogant pigs you are so bent on becoming; no matter what don’t try to convince people how great you are- people just won’t listen to you at all; get a cheap car, have you ever seen one of you people with a Cadillac?; always be polite to those around you; if you are not polite, you will note the consequences in your paycheck; if the ones around you insult you – it's ok- after all you aren’t worth that much; make sure you eat foods from your homeland- it would be really surprising to see you eating food from this country; if you ever eat in a fine restaurant you will become one of those greedy, arrogant pigs you are so bent on becoming; don’t change your clothes that much; people will expect to see you wear the same shirt everyday- since you probably can’t afford another one; but I can; this is how you manage your schedule; don’t get less than three jobs- that way you can still get the salary of a decent job; this is how to tell people you will walk their dog for three dollars; but I should get paid more; don’t ever tell people about your busy schedule- they wouldn’t understand; don’t complain about your schedule- most people think you sleep all day; this is how to get your kid a good Christmas present without spending too much money; this is how you explain to your kid that Santa didn’t come this Christmas; this is how you think that you were better off in your country; this is how you make a decision to go back; this is how you realize that back in your loved homeland there is nothing and that this hell is even better; this is how you punch a wall when you realize you have been fired; this is how you look at the new guy that has your job just because he wasn’t from your country; this is how you stare at your unjust employer; this is how you quickly find another job; democracy is the greatest of all things, learn that; democracy and freedom is what makes this country so great, unlike yours; voting is very important; how often should I vote?, after all of this, you still think you can vote?

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