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As I sat in my bedroom and reflected upon my past, in an instance it hit me!
“Love AND be loved.” Four simple words, but they were the answer.
Love is being thoughtful and not careless. Love is saying kind words toward yourself and others. Love isn’t ever FAKE or UNTRUE it’s the opposite of bad and way better than anything could ever be.
I must admit judging by some of my past actions and words I didn’t love myself or anyone else for that matter. It’s harsh but sadly it’s true. I never stopped too take a good look at myself and all the ciaos I was causing, who I was hurting, and I especially didn’t pay any mind to the long term effects of anything that currently occurred in my life. Then again most of us don’t.
Many times I’ve wonder why I let the last couple years of my life become meaningless memories.
Now the answer was clear and right in front of me. “Love AND be loved.” If one cannot and does not love one’s self that someone can never truly love another nor have somebody else love them in return.
From personal experience I can say no matter how many times I’d open my mouth too say I love you to anybody until I’d learn to love myself in every way, those words meant nothing.
Same with respect, and the fact that until I had learned the true meaning on this word and how to respect myself I had barely any for anyone else and nor did I ever noticed when people showed me no respect.
How I see it is, inevitably everything in life is connected in some way and more times than less no one or anything gives or is given without the intention of needing or wanting something in return. I’ve come to realize that it saves time and avoids heartaches if I give just as much as I would like to receive. Strive to care as much as I want to be cared for. Believe as much as I want to be believed in, and love as much as I want to be loved. I do this not just with the intention of wanting something in return, even though that is always a plus, but because it’s the best way I’ve found to eliminate the hate, drama, and heartaches in my life.
Learning things such as I’ve previously stated is always best too learn later than never learning them at all, because I know no matter where I may run to, move to, or try to escape to my problems are still my problems and nothing in life can be erased.
I find that its way more self-fulfilling and less time consuming to take the blame for what’s happened in my own life, forgive myself for making mistakes considering I am only human then lastly, understand that I’ve always had a choice in every situation and things were always up to me!
I have no disability for which I am thankful and I find a reason to be proud each in everyday for those I still have in my life who are willingly stay by my side as I walk my long journey towards finding myself.
One important lesson I’ve learned when it comes too relationships, whether they may be in finding a friend, best friend, boyfriend or whatever, it’s that you must always find something in you first, before you search for it in someone else. And with that I end this reflection…