Today, i had to say good bye to one of the people in my family, but i found out through a social networking site. It was pretty rough as it was a man that i called dad. whilst i was in school, i didn't cry at first. I had known of his battle with cancer had gone on for about 6 months by now, he got released from hospital and was predicted 2 days, he outlived that. Then got told 2 months, so it was more of a surprise he went about a week after the two days. When people in my school found out, some cried and others almost. They assume they know what I'm going through, i know they don't. I think they don't think i am actually hurting because biologically he's not my father, he's just such an amazing man that made a huge I'mpact on my life, so i am hurting. It's difficult to think that nobody will be his smile anymore, i think death is the hardest thing to accept, because it can't be repaired by someone changing what they think, just like they can in break ups or arguments. The last thing i remember of hI'm is his beautiful smiling face, his beard had grown back slightly after his chemo. So he looked like a gnome, which is how we all remember hI'm. The memory of someone never feels enough, its heartbreaking knowing people never knew the great person you did. Therefore, its taught me that live everyday like it's your last, because even if your predicted how long you shall last, it's never going to be accurate and your never going to have enough tI'me to live, if you don't start now. Appreciation is key when it comes down to the people you love, I'magine if you was laid in a hospital bed, on the borderline of life and death. You don't want any regrets. Many people are torn when they see their Nana's or grandads laid there, emotionless. Maybe through illness or general age. Never take anything for granted, because you never know when they will stop being there.
time to say goodbye..
March 22, 2012