Forgiving the Unforgivable | Teen Ink

Forgiving the Unforgivable

February 25, 2012
By lukesomma BRONZE, Waterbury, Connecticut
lukesomma BRONZE, Waterbury, Connecticut
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There are far, far greater things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis


Her name is JoJo, and the father in her life left her when she was young. She and her older sister have been adopted and live “Happily” with her family. She is currently 15 years old, and is experience the most pain anyone could feel. Little does she know that the pain of her father’s leaving has physically destroyed her. But there need not be change, because her burning rage is “justified” and “righteous”. Then there’s Gloria, and every relationship she has ever been in has turned out into a complete failure. Daughter of drunkenness, she is no stranger to abusive lifestyles. She is now 52, has no permanent place of residence, no stable job, no stable relationships. She does however, have an all consuming fire of sincere hatred and confusion towards nearly every man in her life. But her hatred is “justified” and “righteous”. How can these two women ever move on with their lives? Two completely different people faced with the same issue which will ultimately produce the same outcome: death of the human soul. What they’re afraid to face, is the brutality of forgiving the unforgivable.
“I hate everyone in this world!!!” (Status Update: JoJo)
“Even me???” (Comment: Luke)
“Luke, I said everyone…..” (Comment: JoJo)
“Dear daddy: I hate you with everything in me and I will never love you. How dear you just leave me and my sister? I hope you die on the streets well burning in hell!!! I will never ever love you, cuz you left the greatest girl in the world” (Status update: JoJo)
Is it time for JoJo to forgive? You can clearly see the pure hatred can’t you? It’s been 15 years, and JoJo is socially accepted and dependent on the love of others. If you ever met her, you would notice she is the most lovable person in the entire world! With a caring heart and brilliant smile, you’d never expect JoJo to be so mentally distraught. This is because the hurt is below the skin… and even the mind! The hurt is in the soul. There’s an old saying that goes “If you hate someone, your letting that person live rent-free in your head”. But I say you’re letting them live rent-free in your heart. You see, anger is a messy tenant. Anger often destroys the new hardwood floor, smashes holes in the walls, tears the light fixtures, and is normally very noisy even during the nights. Yet Anger is there rent-free! What respectable landlord would actually let Anger stay there? None. Ever. So if you’re the landlord of your soul isn’t time to evict all that unforgiveness inside of you? To put it in the simplest terms, if you don’t, it will only grow. Eventually, all that unforgiveness will be so massive it halts spiritual growth. The worst part is you won’t even realize it… You’ll just be at home, and maybe a commercial for Father’s Day gifts comes on. This’ll remind you of your dad, or who used to be your dad. The unforgiveness multiplies just a little bit, because you remembered that Father’s day when you were 4 and he “accidently” struck his massive fist right across the already bruised cheek of your mother. Then a day comes where you’re sitting at the local city mall and you see a younger girl with her whole family with two Sears shopping bags placed in everyone’s hands. They look so happy as the children eagerly run to the Minivan while mom and dad take their time and hold hands. Maybe Daddy decides to be a little romantic, and kisses mommy on the cheek while the little ones whine in disgust. You make eye contact with the little girl, and notice how the chocolate fudge is smeared over her face as she looks so happy. Then you die just a little bit on the inside. What used to be love is demolished with hate. Hate is a sledgehammer. A regular hammer is meant for FIXING while sledgehammers are meant for slamming, crushing, and demolition. It slams, crushes and demolishes the joy in the human soul, only to make room for a concreted mix of: unforgivness. Similarly, unforgivness is a cancer. It spreads like wild fire. It produces death when left untreated. Basically, if you don’t stop it now, “it” will only progress until it grows to Stage 4 Unforgiveness.
How to Forgive (In Steps)
Pre Steps:
1)
Demolish the right to get even
2)
Focus on the greater purpose in your life
3)
Respond to hatred with love
Instructions on how to forgive:
1)
Take time to understand exactly how someone has hurt you. You may want to talk to someone uninvolved in the situation
2)
Realize that Forgiveness is essential to begin growing again. Examine the pros of forgiveness.
3)
Stop Hatin’. Seriously. Instead of cursing them, love them. Hatred is what put unforgiveness in solid stone in the first place. *This WILL be the hardest step and might take time


The author's comments:
I wrote this article after seeing the destruction in the life of a close friend in my youth group. On the outside happiness gleamed off her. Smiles wide, there was no pain. Then one day, she left the youth group, left the church, left her friends. All are replaced with a "new this and new that". The other character is an adult in my life. Everything I said is true, and I hope you enjoy the article. (Names Have Been Changed for Privacy)

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