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Winter...

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Winter. Exactly what you knew would come after autumn and you just watched helplessly as it arrived. You wanted to hold on to the summer of your being, to all the joyful times filled with the sunshine of love but you couldn't. Because the winter of gloom that had to come came and all you could do was fight back the tears and act like it was welcome.

You hate the winter days. Totally filled with nothingness. And what could be worse is that the nothingness gives you time- TIME TO THINK. Think about what you had, what you lost and what you wished you had never come across. It's like your past takes over your life and confused feelings creep in - feelings of nostalgia, of regret and of loneliness. You start hating the memories that once made you smile because the ones you shared them with aren't there anymore.You want to cry but as you look for a shoulder all you end up finding is the cold touch of an empty space.The snow falls just like it always used to but this time it doesn't cheer you up. The pure whiteness around seems like a lie ; something that only deepens the wounds in your heart. You try to fight off the feelings of despair but its like they have decided to cling onto you. Hopelessness is a sin, you tell yourself over and over again, but the 'yourself' just wont listen. It's like a fight between the right and the wrong; the good and the bad...the-things-I-wanted and the-things-I-lost. Like a fight of you with you, where you win and you lose mean the same thing.

You're tired of remembering how much time you've wasted upon the thoughts. And like always it takes a knock on the door, or the ring of your phone to bring you back to your world, putting an end to the morbid thoughts.
Another day wasted on thoughts of emptiness, you think. Another day lost staring at the snow wishing the world weren't so cold.
You put up a smile and move out to face the chilly, frozen winter world.





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