Finding Me

Funny how we spend most of our lives searching for the one thing that stands staring straight back at us when we look in the mirror. It can take a whole life time to find yourself. We are constantly searching for the answers to life's questions, wondering why we're here, what our purpose, our reason for being is. Why are we here? There is not a single answer that encompasses every aspect of that question. We are here to be what we are meant to be. We just need to find whatever that may be. No one can tell you what your purpose in life is. It must be accepted that this is a quest in which you must venture alone, questions that only you can find the answer to. Some may not complete the quest for years or decades, grow old and grey before the unknown is discovered. For some, long after they are dead and gone, they remain without a clue of who they were meant to be. We spend so much time trying to figure it out. We search for the one thing that we excel at, the one thing we can take pride in. We want to find something that we can be the best at. Always striving for recognition, confirmation that we have a place on this earth. You can be the athlete, the genius, the musician. Me? I am a writer.

What will I be when we grow up? A question posed many times, but only recently becoming a serious question that has called for much thought. I have aspired to be as many different things as anyone else over the short fourteen years of my life. When I was little I wanted to be a veterinarian because I loved animals. Later, as I learned a bit about the economy and politics I decided I wanted to be the president of the United States of America. As I got a little older I wanted to be a lawyer for the longest time, I have no idea why. As I went through Junior high I realized I was becoming increasingly advanced in things pertaining to academics. I excelled at school and received perfect grades, made the highest honors, and quickly reached the top of my classes. My best subjects were mathematics and science. This spurred my scientist phase. I wanted to make a discovery that could change the world, to do something that would make me famous. When junior high was behind me, and the summer before I was to begin high school lied ahead of me, I began to write. I wrote countless poems practically every day. Upon beginning high school I had developed an even greater love of the written word. I had always loved reading all kinds of books. I loved immersing myself in the magic that these various stories would bring to my open mind. I could see the pictures drawn from the words printed on the paper. I would find myself in a colorful world made from the black and white ink come alive. As I discovered that I could make magic from my own words I fell in love. Nothing could slow the rush of thoughts pouring from my whirring mind, like the steady roar of water, white as it cascades down the steep cliffs of a waterfall. I realized that my love of writing is serious. It is fact, I am more certain of it than anything in the world; I am going to be a writer. As I am sure my name is Zoe, I am sure I want to be a writer. Writing is the one thing in my whole world that I can invest myself in. I can take pride in the words I write. The sentences I weave of them, when I enter my own magical world. As I put pen to paper I scribble out every thought in my mind in flow of passion focused into a steady stream of letters which create a portal to this special world of mine. Words are my tools that I use to make myself heard. They are magic to me.





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