I'm one of those people who's optimism has been whipped out well before I was even legal. I've been through my fair share, and I reckon loads of you will think that a whole lot of other people have been through more. I do not doubt that you are in fact, correct. I can honestly say though, that everything that has happened to me in the last 12 years has shaped me, weather added knowledge and strength, or shipped a little of me away. I am what I am because of my pathetic and soon-to-be forgotten memory. I now am a deeply realistic (almost to the point of pessimism), critical, hard to please person who really mistrusts and as a general rule, dislikes people. I know these aren't the best of qualities, but at least I know what I am. In all honesty, I wouldn't change if I could, I've been through crap, but were if I were a trusting cheerful, optimistic person, I'd have probably gone through more and worse.



On bad days I might wish half my life had never happened, that I was just one of those people I cant be around for long. Naive, trusting and sadly unaware. Deep down I know better though, I am not perfect, I am a long way from it, but I would never give up any of those things I've learnt, I don't even want the parts of me I've lost. Learning isn't just in books, actually, most learning, or the really valuable lessons are not in books, they are far away from classrooms, and you don't need teachers. The lessons you will carry with you are the things you've experienced and touched, the things you regret or rejoice in, those little fleeting memories that you will take to your grave. My life has been full of them, thankfully, and I wouldn't trade them and take peace of mind instead for the world.