Do you ever feel like you’re going on the wrong way, taking the wrong direction, but still you keep on walking? That’s exactly how I feel. I made future plans, I took decisions and made choices but somehow it seems like I did the wrong thing. I drew a picture of me for the 10 next years but it’s blurry. I’m doing the wrong thing, taking the wrong decisions but I keep believing that it’s right. When people ask me what I want to do in the future, I answer them proudly and then I see on their faces the reflection of my own reaction:”oh poor girl. She’s still dreaming. She doesn’t know yet that’s out of reach!” I have no plan B. I am blind, completely. I can’t see my future. I wanted to impress people, show them what I got. I overestimated myself and my abilities. I kept looking on people to see if they’re watching me when I realized I was lost. I got lost in my way to achieve my dreams...yes here is the word «DREAMS. Dreams are dreams; you cannot realize them, not mine anyway. I am going on the wrong way but I can’t turn back. I’m stuck because of my own pride. People who love me seem to understand my case but they can do nothing for me. They can’t choose instead of me or go backwards. Neither can I. I am standing at the edge watching myself going to that way that ends by a wall. That’s all I can do: watch and wait for the impact. Watch and wait for my destiny.
The wrong way
August 5, 2011