2 vs. 12

March 27, 2011
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My friend Rachel and I have this big, never-ending debate about our favorite numbers; two and twelve. She is convinced that twelve is a better number than two. She is wrong. Two is by FAR the best number. But in case you’re not convinced, I will tell you my side of the story, and since she won’t be presenting her case, you will soon see why twelve was never even in the running.

Would you rather go to school for two hours or twelve? Would you rather get second or twelfth place? Would you rather have two or twelve pages of homework? Two or twelve pieces of broccoli? Wait in line behind two or twelve people? Or buy something for two or twelve dollars? Take a twelve hour car ride with your twelve screaming little cousins? Sounds like fun. I personally would rather run two miles, not twelve. Would you rather take two tests or twelfth? Two or twelve commercials between shows? Would you rather wake up two or twelve minutes earlier? Have braces for two or twelve months? Would you like there to be two or twelve minutes left of class?
The second letter of the alphabet is B because it’s beast. Brilliant. The Best. L is the twelfth. L stands for lame. Last. Long. You know, there is no twelfth color of the rainbow. People think it’s cute when you sing the first two days of Christmas, but by the twelfth, they’ve got TWO earplugs in. Without the number two you couldn’t have twelve, although you could have two without twelve, and I would be fine with that.
Twelve takes longer to write than two. You can count to two on your fingers; for twelve you’d need to get toes involved, and who has the time to remove your TWO shoes and TWO socks? Everyone says two heads are better than one, but twelve heads would be just creepy. Everything is better in twos. That’s why we have two eyes, two ears, two hands two feet. What do you have twelve of? Twelve toes? Twelve teeth? I hope not.
Everything is better in pairs. Things go better hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly. Not hand in hand in hand in hand in hand in hand, like peanut butter and jelly and bananas and lettuce and tomato and mayonnaise. That’s gross. This is why we work TOgether.
That’s another thing; two is a multitasking word. To, two, too. It’s also sounded out in other words. Twelve is not a day like TUEsday, or TOmorrow or TOday. I brush my teeth with a TOOthbrush, but don’t usually use twelvethpaste.

In this case less is more. It just makes more sense for things to come in twos. Two halves in a game, two peas in a pod, two days in a weekend, two thumbs up! Two skis, two gloves, two wheels, two dice, two chopsticks, too much!

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