Good Sentiments

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Restricted, shallow breaths of pain and exhaustion, followed by collapsing and joy. The sublime joy that transforms weeks of preparation and following through a gut burning rendition to the intoxication and elation of the finish. Why does this pain bring forth such fervor afterwords?

Hours spent at a desk which has turned into my confining jail for weeks. I've been bent over squinting over concepts and information which seems to make my head ache with boundless study. Then the day comes when it pays off and I put all those ideas and memories into action on a evanescent exam. Why do I feel happiness after such work when the final result is like a vapor that dissipates into thin air.

Coaxing and flattering a beautiful young woman. Submissively waiting for your work to finally pay off, when you don't even know what it is you are waiting for. Each day you feel as if you slip back, then finally when you think all is lost you are embraced. Eventually you were rewarded for all the while that you cultivated this small seedling. For one split second that your lips met the others, all the time exhausted seemed to have made sense.

Thirteen years of tears, frustration and distaste. Pounding your fist into the wall you want to give up. Some years were good and some were worse than you've ever experienced in the few years you've spent on this earth. You've almost given up and you've often thought about quitting. You've had your heart broken, you've gotten into trouble, but still you pursue a future that is brighter than the empty darkness you see. Then finally one day comes and you walk down a platform and are handed a piece of paper with a signature that releases you of all your strife's and recent worries. You've finally gotten your break from the only world you have come to know.

With each year used on this earth I have come to reason that with every low comes a high and with every loss comes a win. In my past I have dreaded the times of hardship and now I've come delight in their company. Maybe I've spent too much time punishing myself on the Cross Country trails, maybe the years spent trying to become something greater than I already was has made me numb to the pain. I don't know what has come over me, but I have good sentiments of hard effort. I live to work, and though i may only have only short pain I will always have the good sentiments of past efforts and trials. I thrive on the pain.





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wesipred said...
Feb. 25, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Does this sound good? Or is it very confusing?
 
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