I Go to an All-Girls School...

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When I was a little kid, I used to believe girls were truly superior to boys. When girls grew up, they got to get their ears pierced, wear makeup, and buy princess dresses for dances. A magical element surrounded womanhood- the concept of a bra seemed purely fantastical. Now, however, I realize how misconstrued my thinking was. It is not a question of superiority between the sexes. It is actually a question of sanity. And although girls still get to wear princess dresses, in terms of sanity, boys win.
The school community has become accustomed to our hallways. But invite any stranger, man or woman to a full frontal assault of seven periods of hall exchange and twenty minutes in the cafeteria, and he/she will run out of the school. Most likely grasping each ear, trying to salvage some sense of hearing.
1.
Girls yell. Girls shout. Girls screech. Girls cackle. For some reason, we compete with each other to be the loudest. Similar to a biological mating call, girls fight over the most noticeable giggle, or the most pronounced voice. Please, do not even try to say in a group of boys, girls do not laugh a little bit louder than usual, and speak in a higher pitch voice. Over the years, I have to believe, consistent high pitched yelling must affect female mental health. Perhaps that’s why menopause is so rough?
Girls delude themselves into thinking boys notice the small details of their appearance. Wrong.
2.
To be honest, I’m almost completely positive that Billy next door isn’t going to notice if your lip gloss has slightly pink undertones. Why then do females waste our time on primping the minutest nuances of our appearance? Simple answer: women are nuts. It is undeniable that physical appearance is stressed for a female. It is questionable, however, to propose men set the standard for female appearance. Females demand fuller eyelashes, more toned arms, and shinier hair. Males demand attention, and that’s about it.
Girls must talk through every situation. EVERY SITUATION. And then after talking, girls never know what they want.
3.
Recently in my math class (hey, fourth hour) I discussed with a classmate how I begin almost every thought with, “I feel as if… “(The sky is blue, my stomach hurts, tomorrow is Tuesday, etc). Yet, these are all concrete statements. Usually the sky is blue, and sometimes, tomorrow certainly is Tuesday. Worst of all, the total dumping of thoughts leaves me no more aware of my emotional standing. I will admit there has even been an instance where I yelled at a boy for being too nice to me. I was outraged at his polite responses, and interrogated him as to why he didn’t feel comfortable enough around me to share ‘what he is really feeling’. His response? “You’re crazy.” Why yes, yes I am. After taking a couple bites of chocolate, I realized the circumstances: I was infuriated because someone was too kind to me. Right…
I still revel in being a woman. We are amazing because we balance being a whole of contradictions each day. Our goal: to be mysterious and straightforward, delicate and strong, beautiful and natural. Yes, I am more insane than Joe sitting next to me, but I still get to wear princess dresses. Beat that, Joe.





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