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Façades

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A façade means the face or front of something, usually a building. But it also often describes the faces of humans; expressions, masks that hide our internal grief and pain.

I'll laugh at your joke if it's funny. Sometimes my happiness is actually genuine, and I'll crack up, and it'll be real, pure bliss. But then my head will turn automatically and I'll see the ever-gazing moon up there, smiling down at you, an identical feeling of joy displayed on her face, and suddenly overwhelming waves of jealousy will crash over me, knocking me down. But my smile will stay on my face: a fake smile. That joy that I used to have just isn't there anymore.

I'll keep this note relatively short, because most people know exactly what I'm talking about. Everyone has a façade to make us seem cool and composed. But really, we all know that inside, we're breaking down.

You, kid with the dyed black hair and deep cuts on your wrists - you practically show off your emotions. Your façade is transparent; everyone can seeing your true emotions just by looking at your face and the clothes you wear. Your agony is painted all over you; you just scream for attention.

And then you, perky girl with the sunshine yellow clothes, the girl that always gets out a book and happily starts reading as soon as she is done with her test. Yes, I'm talking about you. It doesn't take a lot to see that your uncharacteristically high voice is fake, that the colors of your clothes and your bright blond hair are just there to make you seem like the happiest kid in the world. But anyone can tell that you're hiding something if they just pay a little extra attention to you. I can see that when you're done with your test and you get out your book, you're not actually reading. Your eyes keep traveling over the same lines, the same words, over and over and over. You're turning the pages way too fast; you'd have to be inhuman to read that quickly. Anyone can realize that you're hiding the sorrow in your heart if they just stare at you, for only a few seconds. If only they just cared.

And lastly, you, kid in the mirror. Yes, you, the one tapping on a computer keyboard hastily, trying to pour out all your emotions into words. People don't really know what to make of you. You don't have your pain plainly shown, spread across your slitted, bleeding wrists. But you don't have an impenetrable façade like the perky girl, either. People have to wait a long to time to realize that you're feeling down. They have to intently study you, watch as the smile on your face will once in a while suddenly drop completely off the face of the Earth. They have to see past all the components of your mask: they have to look past the wide corners of your grin, they have to stare even deeper than the happy round pupils of your eyes. People always say that your eyes are the window to your soul, but really, they're just another way of improving your façade. They just add on to the whole 'happy' act. They are just another part of your face, used solely to disguise your emotions.

All the real emotions, the truth, is buried in a place within you that almost nobody can find: your heart. To find them, you have to stare them right in the eyes, travel past their retinas and into the back of their head. Then slither down into their chest and explore. Unlock their secrets, let yourself finally see the truth. Let the façade be done, gone forever. Let there be no more deceiving, no more faces, no more masks.

But until you can actually do that, which takes a whole lot of work, shut your mouth, turn around, and get your ass out. Look, I don't mean to seem hostile, because it's not your fault, but it's pointless to make assumptions. You know what they say: to 'assume' is to make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me.' That's black humor for you.

This shouldn't alter your life in any way. It shouldn't inspire you to suddenly take off your mask and let everyone see what you're feeling, like the boy with the jagged cuts did. It's meant to give you someone to relate to. You can find consolation just knowing that everyone else out there is hiding secrets and feelings too. You're not the only one.

I'm not the only one.





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