Sometimes I wonder why my life is the way it is. Why so many things have happened to me the way they have. And then I look at me art, and I feel like my art wouldn't be art if I hadn't had the experiences I had. When I'm upset are is my escape. I can read, sing, write, or play my music and my thoughts just come out. Once I get started the art just envelopes me and I don't even have to put a thought into it. Then I think about what if I didn't have art. What if I couldn't write or sing or play an instrument. What would I do. Everything would up inside me and I would explode. I wouldn't be able to survive. So the day that I thought of that I began writing every thought that came out of my mind down on paper. The day that happened I realized my calling. I realized that my purpose in life isn't just to exist. That I could make a real difference in this world. All I have to do is put my mind to it. And then I thought what if I would have never found my purpose in life. Where would I be now. I would be a nervous wreck. Depressed and alone. I wouldn't wish that for my worst enemy. Art si the open door that god gives us to heaven.
June 6, 2009