In ancient Rome meals were served on beds, laying down was the ultimate luxury. Birds still vomit into their children’s mouths to feed their babies. But, today we eat at tables, sitting down, mouths closed, or at least that’s what is supposed to happen. Now I realize that the dining hall is no 5 star restaurant and it’s costumers are more of the throwing carrots across the room type than the put your napkin in your lap type, but there is a certain degree of respect to others that should be upheld. When people sit down like the rest of us, get their food like the rest of us, even use utensils like the rest of us, how come there’s always that one person that just can’t shut their mouth when chewing. Is there a gap between their brain and their jaw just not allowing them to eat like a human being? If so, call up the US board of ethical medicine and create a mask or something. No one wants to see your cheerios fall out of your mouth because you keep eating with your mouth open. And then, you act as a circus side show as you reach down to your sweater and pick up the cheerio that jumped ship and stick it right back into your always open mouth. It’s disgusting. If you want to eat with your mouth open, go to Hogwarts, call up Harry and the gang and make them, for the sake of humanity, transform you into a bird.
June 3, 2009