AP Exam Esay

Hello! This is my AP Exam Essay. However, I didn't read the question carefully, and mistakenly believed that this was the portion of the exam where I could raise a complaint. Despite the fact I have been in a college level class all year, apparently these difficult concepts such as words and reading and essay questions, the kind I've been doing since Kindegarten through standardized testing and the SAT's which got me to this point, went over my head until.

My complaint is the way the test was proctored to me. For starters, the environment I was in was completely inadequate. I was using my cell phone to text my friend the answers to the test, when I kept losing cellular phone access. This was absolutely unacceptable. I find the testing environment is one of the most important parts of taking a test and these were completely below average testing. Not only that, but when I went to the bathroom they picked up my test. Now how is it that I am going to go to the library and send my friend, via the internet, my answers to the test, which in actuality I stole from my friend in Israel who took it from the kid who was best friends with Howard Dean (he lives in Japan and apparently all these kids also were taking the United States Government Exam). Completely unacceptable. I request that these proctors get it together. And on top of this, the movie the proctors were showing, a pirated version of Lord of the Rings uncensored, was absolutely low quality. The sound was far too quiet for me to adequately study my testing. I mean really.

My next complaint is with the testing. When I took out my calculator for the Essay portion I had it taken away. Completely reprehensible. I mean I say. I did not spend the night before chipping the answers to the essay slowly into a calculator to have it taken away. So I used my cell phone where I luckily had emailed myself the essay, because we all know the essays for the AP exam before hand, last night. And the person I was sitting next to was hardly helpful. I asked them questions and they didn't have a clue what to tell me. The proctors themselves were unhelpful, too, for when I asked them questions they seemed as if they didn't know. What kind of testing do you run here, college board?

And another thing! I was forced to sign an exam saying I started the exam at 12. But in reality it was started at 11:50. Shame! You have tried to trick me with time and daylight savings! I do not like being taken advantage of. (Incidentally the signature Sarah Lee is not mine, but I got her test in the game of musical chairs we played just before it began so I had to sign over for her, but this is completely besides the point). The amount of paper you gave me for your essays was not enough, either. A mere 25 pages? I have especially big handwriting. 3 words per page. And I was not nearly supplied with enough pages to give you a finely crafted Essay. Or, in that case, a sentence. Luckily, I used my blackberry that I take with me to every test and printed out and pasted with glue and scissors a version that would fit. But you are cutting it close.

So to this test, and to you Collegeboard, I say hah. I will not be taking your test, but instead luckily packed my Nintendo and will be busy getting another Squirtle for my collection of Pokemon. So hah! By the way, I know the rules say blue and black ink, but I decided pink showed off my I's better. So I wrote (printed it off) it in pink. I am sure you understand by the high quality I's I had placed in this essay that it was completely understandable.





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Adam98 said...
Nov. 14, 2011 at 11:19 am
Hilarious!
 
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