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I Beg You - Don't This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


   It started out as a normal, boring Sunday at my boardingschool. I was assigned to study hall, so I was there working on my homework. Isaw my best friend come into the room. He looked unusually sad. He walked up tothe staff member on duty and asked her something. As he was walking away, Icalled him over. He shook his head and said, "I'll talk to you later."I nodded, not knowing that would be the last time I would ever see him.

Alittle background information: this boarding school isn't your average school.It's what you call an emotional-growth school, a program for troubled teens. Ihad been there a year when this happened.

Brandon and I were reallyclose, and his girlfriend was, and still is, one of my best friends. Brandon wasnear the end of his time at the school and one of the most popular kids there. Hewas the basketball captain, the listener, the shoulder to cry on and a friend toeveryone. But no one knew how sad he really was.

It wasn't until Mondaythat we all found out. Brandon disappeared that night, and no one knew where hewas. I was sent to look in the girls' dorms, "just in case." He wasn'tthere, of course. On the way back, talking to other students, I said flatly,"He's in the woods, you guys. I just know it." They didn't believe mebecause it was December, but as we walked back to the main building, I couldn'tshake the feeling that he was in the woods.

It's been two years, but Iremember that Tuesday like it was yesterday. My nerves weren't as bad as thenight before; I was still worried but was sure he was alright. The school hadcalled in cops and dogs to try to find Brandon. As people gathered in the lodgefor a meeting, I sat memorizing a poem for class the next day. I wasn't preparedat all for what I heard when Mala came out. She was all in black, which wasnormal. Then all the staff filed out. Not so normal. Mala sat in front of us andtook a deep breath. Looking around at our confused faces, she began.

Thatmorning, the police had found Brandon. He had hanged himself. A hush fell overthe room. I was in shock; I didn't believe it. One person started to cry, and itcaught on as a domino effect. I ran over to his girlfriend and put my arms aroundher, and we lay there together, crying. Soon all our close friends were aroundus.

Even today, two years later, I can remember the warmth of Brandon'seyes, his hugs. I can remember his smile and his passion. Most of all, I rememberthe love I felt for him. When a girl says she loves a guy, people think it'ssexual. That was not the case with my love for Brandon. Yes, he was thebest-looking guy in school, but he was also my best friend, my brother. I lookedup to him. The pain I felt at his death was so strong I didn't know how to handleit. I still feel a lot of pain. I will never, ever forget that day.

Thisis to anyone contemplating suicide: Don't, please, I beg you. There is alwayssunshine after the rain. Even when you think no one loves you, someone does. Whenyou think no one would notice if you were alive or dead, someone would. No matterwho you are, before you do something drastic, take a look around and see all thereasons you have to live. There are so many. Even though I don't know you, I cansay I love you and you are a wonderful person. You are, because you took time toread this and listen to the words of someone you don't know. There is a quotethat I love: "Never place a period where God has placed a comma." Thoseare words to live by.




This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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AceOfSpace said...
Mar. 26, 2011 at 3:56 pm
I know how this feels I recently lost my friend Cameron to suicide, and I felt horrible. It is a truly horrible thing to hear.
 
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