A boyfriend? Not now! MAG

By Alison S., Defiance, OH

     I have grown up in a society where having a boyfriend is an obsession. It makes a girl popular. He makes her feel wanted and loved. Many girls define themselves by their boyfriends, and when he's gone, they lose themselves. I don't have a boyfriend, and I don't particularly want one. It may sound crazy, but I am not looking for a boyfriend.

Unlike the majority of my peers, I view the endless search for a significant other as a waste of time. Life is busy, and a boyfriend takes time and commitment: time I would rather spend with my friends, and a commitment I don't need at 17.

Sure, it might be nice to have someone to spend Saturday night with when all my friends are with their boyfriends, but I do. I have someone no other guy can even compare with, to whom I can tell all my thoughts, dreams and even insecurities.

I am not writing off boyfriends, I'm just not getting caught up in the idea of one. Someday I'm going to marry a man, so why should I waste time with guys I would not want to marry? No, I don't know who I will marry, but I know that any part I give to a guy is a small part I have taken from him. I want to give my future husband everything, so I have to be cautious what parts of my heart I share. Having a boyfriend isn't committing to marriage, but it isn't meaningless, either.

People say that with a theory like mine, I can't expect to ever find a guy, but I disagree. My theory will turn some guys away, but the guys I would actually want to date will stick around. Society tries to trick me into believing that if I don't have a boyfriend it is because no guy wants me, but society is wrong. I am not defined by the man I am dating, and I do not need a boyfriend to know who I am.

I have faith that I will find the right guy at the right time. It may take longer than I might like and more patience than I think I have, but someday my one true love will come. While I wait, I won't obsess over what I cannot change or over guys who turn away. I will focus on the here and now. My focus is on my friends, family and faith. It sounds crazy, but someday I will have a bunch of rugrats running around, and they will have an awesome father - I just know it.



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This article has 7 comments.


i love this so much!

LittleMiss said...
on Oct. 13 2011 at 7:27 pm
I love this! I don't date either and this was the topic of a personal essay I had to write. I don't need to give my heart to those who aren't the one. I LOVE THIS!!!!!!

on Aug. 19 2011 at 8:04 pm
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

I love, love, love thi. Thanks for pointing that out. And I don't think I want a boyfriend either--at least, not now. I'll focus on finding myself first... :)))

Jerome.J said...
on Dec. 16 2010 at 11:39 am
I am also glad that I stumbled upon this article because I also do not have a girlfriend right now, but all my male friends got one. So they say that I have to get a girlfriend so that I will be cool but I do not agree to that. I always be myself and i know I will find the right girl.

on Aug. 13 2010 at 3:39 pm
thoughtfulsoul PLATINUM, El Cajon, California
25 articles 0 photos 49 comments
I am glad I stumbled across this, because I had been feeling really crappy. Ive never had a boyfriend and most of my friends do, but reading this made me feel a lot better. It also gave me perspective on the whole boyfriend thing and you're right. Having a boyfriend doesn't make you great. So thank you :) and this flows really well. You are a good writer

AnumK SILVER said...
on Aug. 2 2010 at 1:18 pm
AnumK SILVER, Karachi, Other
8 articles 0 photos 38 comments
It's very well-written. I have the very similar opinion about this topic...boyfriends and getting involved into such things that come and go with time don't define us..

on Dec. 11 2008 at 12:55 pm
i used to really want a boyfriend to make me look and feel good but now i know now that i don't need one it is so nice to know that other girls feel the same way as me


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