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If I kissed you...

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Author's note: Writing is my passion. If I don't write daily, I feel like my day is incomplete. I wrote this to...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: Writing is my passion. If I don't write daily, I feel like my day is incomplete. I wrote this to showcase where I am currently at, regarding talent in writing. Currently I have at least five other books I've started on which have the same amount of dedication and talent. When I manage to get a publisher I'll publish them as well when they are finished. This is the first big piece I've put out there that I feel truly shows where I am at in my writing. If you like it, keep in mind this is only part 1, and part 2 is in the works. Any good and constructive feedback is more than welcome. The more feedback I get, the more I will consider there being a part three.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 4 5 6 7 8 9 ... 22 Next »

The reality of a nightmare

“What are you doing?!” I screamed, furiously to the shack doors. “We made a deal!”
I pulled on the rope hard as I could, tried crawling across the bed as far as I could go, my left arm behind me, jerking against it's shackles. Common sense came back to me in my emotional haste, and I started gnawing at the rope, only managing to get it wet and leaving the taste of gasoline in my mouth. Pretty soon I saw his shadow stalking towards the shed, with a menacing kick the door flew open.
There was blood on his hands and arms, he was grinning madly looking at me with narrowed eyes.
“For his life-not his finger,” he murmured, looking pleased with himself as he tossed a bloody finger wearing a ring onto the bed, and I jumped up and started screaming. “He no longer has a commitment to you anymore, I'm afraid he's lost his ring-ha-ha-ha!”
I gasped and choked against the farthest wall I was cramming myself against as he bellowed in laughter.
“Please-stop hurting him!”
He shook his head at that, “No.” he pointed up at me. “That, I'm afraid, will require more from you.”
John's ring finger was curled and bloody on the sheets, staining them. It's pinkness showed that it had been recent, I fell on my knees and wailed, thinking of what John had to go through.
“Don't worry, I cauterized it.” he added as a second thought, looking at me, almost in a concerned way. He then grinned, and picked it up, studying it. He jerked off the ring and tossed John's finger out of the shack, examining it. “I promise you...” he murmured, reading the inscription. I hid my hand behind my back.
“Please, let me sew it back on, let me see him! Just let me do something, please!”
He looked at me straight in the eyes, “No.”
He glanced at the ring again, then glared at me, skeptically. “So tell me, did you both screw each other, or did you keep your promises?” he asked, vulgarly, clearly mocking us.
“Yes.” I answered, out of breath from the pain.
“Yes what?”
“We kept our promise.” I muttered, looking at the shed in tears though the rusty bars of the window.
He looked away in disgust of my crying. “Good.” he shrugged.
“Good for what? You? What do you mean, good?” I snapped, hair sticking to my wet, tear-stained face.
“I think you know what I mean.” he answered roughly, tossing the ring up in the air and catching it as he left the shack.
A silent, horrific realization swept over me and I was paralyzed to the spot. I breathed in air that seemed cold, despite the heat. My face felt frozen, thinking of what he may be planning. My eyes drifted to the nightstand, which had been placed strategically, two feet away from the bed out of my reach. I heard the erupting rumble of his car. He was leaving, I heard it's rumble grow farther and farther.

I have to reach the dresser. Laying on my back I reached out my right arm and could only touch my fingertips to the edge of the nightstand's drawer. But my nails were long. I edged them under the drawer's side and painfully, milliliter by milliliter-stretching my nails nearly from the skin, I got it open about three inches. Then, stretching my body as much as possible, I stuck my middle finger about one inch into the drawer-and felt nothing to latch it onto.
“Uhh!” I fell back, relieving my cramped body.
“No-oo!” I pleaded to the air, pounding my fists into the mattress.
Closing my eyes, I pictured John. Missing his finger, holding a bloody hand in shackles, chained to the wall like an animal.
I stretched over and shut the drawer. There had to be other options.

On my knees, I squinted down the dark corner, where the pole of the bed frame was. Somewhere down there the rope ended, and I might be able to uncover a weak spot. Sucking in a breath, I knew that I might get bit by a poisonous tarantula, but I had to take the risk.
I moaned as I slinked down my arm, this time gliding my hand around the rope to find it's end. I felt spider webs, but continued-and I touched smooth metal. What? I felt all around the fuzzy rope-it joined into a metal holder of some sort, I moaned again in frustration, but continued to glide my hand around the metal. And then I felt a lock. Furious, I jerked the rope-over and over, I did this for hours, screaming in a trapped hysteria, as the bed squeaked like chalk against my ears, and I got nowhere.
After a while I stopped, and just lay sprawled on the bed, panting. I lay on top of the tarantula's guts, the Twinkie wrapper and the stain of John's blood.
Eventually I heard the sound of two cars, I shot up thinking there must be help on the way-he must have gotten caught. After the torture of trying to look around the door, and hearing the cars come ever closer, they both stopped in front of my view.
One was a large, fancy motor-home, and the other was Raiden's car. Raiden got out of it, holding a gun to the passenger side, his towering height enhanced even more when he pulled out a small woman by her hair, she was screaming shrilly, and at this a balding man wearing a Hawaii t-shirt got out of the motor-home with his hands up.
“Please don't hurt my wife-please!” the man yelled.
Raiden seemed to revel in the pain he was causing him as he jerked her hair again, making her scream some more, and then after watching the man's pained reaction and listening to more of his pleads, he got bored and threw her onto the ground towards her husband. As she started crawling towards her husband I heard a loud POP! The balding man's body was thrown back as blood spattered behind him, and as the woman screamed I heard two more loud pops blasting through my ears as her body was jutted forward twice against the ground. Raiden lowered the gun and walked over to them, his towering figure looking at their fallen bodies. I shook my head, “...no...” This isn't happening. I sucked in air-I didn't have any, I needed it-I gagged and gasped for breath-he started dragging her husband away as everything went black.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 4 5 6 7 8 9 ... 22 Next »


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This book has 125 comments. Post your own!

Samantha_Lynn_Burke said...
Mar. 5 at 10:49 am:
So I'm only on page 10 and so far, I can't put my laptop down! This is great so far!!!!  
 
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AvrilThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 4 at 1:48 pm:
This book is like one of mine. Somewhat different. very Good though its awesome. I like the way you worded it.
 
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OliveTreeLover said...
May 1, 2013 at 2:27 pm:
Great Book!!!!!!!!!!!
 
KateLA replied...
May 9, 2013 at 1:11 am :
Thank you so much!
 
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Amina157 said...
Apr. 29, 2013 at 5:13 am:
Your story is amazing, i only post poems on teenink but may post some of my novels in future, I would love to be as good as you, your so talented and personally this is the best thriller I've read!!! Xx
 
KateLA replied...
Apr. 29, 2013 at 9:55 pm :
Thanky you very much, let me know if you would like me to return the favor and comment on some of your articles, and whether there are any spesific poems you might want me to take a look at :-)
 
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. said...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:01 pm:
This was absoulutly amazing!! I couldn't put it down! It was awesome. My heart was beating the entire time! My stomach was making the little flip-flops!! I loved it!! Keep writing!
 
KateLA replied...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:28 am :
Thank you so much! Let me know if you would like me to return the favor and comment on one of your articles, just leave your screen name and the article you would like me to comment on :-)
 
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Nimra Shaikh said...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 3:12 pm:
That would be so sweet!!! Thank you :D
 
KateLA replied...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:28 pm :
Sure, I'd love to return the favor :-)
 
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Nimra said...
Mar. 27, 2013 at 5:10 pm:
This story is so frightening and catching that I coudln't put it down, Katherine!!! You'll turn out to be a very good writer very soon!!! :D Best of Luck!!!
 
KateLA replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:26 am :
Thank you! If you would like me to return the favor and comment on one of your stories just let me know which one you would prefer, I'd be happy to.
 
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sweetangel4life said...
Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:48 am:
this is incredible and astonishing. i was terrified for the life of the characters, the whole time feeling appreciation for your writing skills. i was captivated by the thrill. u are waaaayy talented. keep writing :)
 
KateLA replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:22 am :
Thank you very much, if there's any specific article you want me to comment on just let me know which one :-)
 
sweetangel4life replied...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:54 am :
you're welcome. if you could read my story "falling in love..." yeah lol ik i hate the title but i couldnt think of anything when i posted it. thanks :) keep writing:)
 
KateLA replied...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:56 pm :
Don't worry about your title :-), mine's the one that sounds really weird, lol. I'll leave a comment!
 
sweetangel4life replied...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:29 pm :
lol thanks. i just replied to your comment. well keep writing :)
 
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MJLoverNerdThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 3, 2013 at 10:22 am:
Wow this story was amazing! Please tell me you're getting published or better yet this is turning into a movie! This story was just perfect beyond words, and had me to the edge of my seat the whole time I was reading it. The only thing I would want is John alive :( lol you just want him to live but how the story came to you noneoftheless was perfect anyways. Very good job you're an exceptionally talented writer.
 
KateLA replied...
Mar. 3, 2013 at 8:03 pm :
Thank you so much your comment made my day :-)
 
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BabyGirl123o said...
Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:34 pm:
I love it! it may have tok me a second but I loved it please go  comment on my picture itd called "Ushios Princess Form" it tok me almost 6 months to make it prefect hope you like it
 
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