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If I kissed you...

Author's note: Writing is my passion. If I don't write daily, I feel like my day is incomplete. I wrote this to...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: Writing is my passion. If I don't write daily, I feel like my day is incomplete. I wrote this to showcase where I am currently at, regarding talent in writing. Currently I have at least five other books I've started on which have the same amount of dedication and talent. When I manage to get a publisher I'll publish them as well when they are finished. This is the first big piece I've put out there that I feel truly shows where I am at in my writing. If you like it, keep in mind this is only part 1, and part 2 is in the works. Any good and constructive feedback is more than welcome. The more feedback I get, the more I will consider there being a part three.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 22 Next »


He was over me, though not on me, his rough hands covering half of my upper arms pressing them back into the mattress. He looked down at me for what seemed like forever, I couldn't make out his expression, but somehow I knew I didn't want to. He moaned in frustration and laid back where he had been, and I dared not move until I saw some sign of him sleeping. Then I would try undoing the knot tied to the bed frame, since the other end tied to my wrist wouldn't let up.
After hours of still silence, I rolled over on my stomach so slowly the creaky mattress barely made noise and I reached my free hand down the corner of the frame, gliding my fingertips along the rusty frame. I touched something rough and frayed-furry almost, and breathed quietly in relief. Then several long, furry legs skittered over the top of my hand.
“Ahhh!” My shriek pierced the deathly silence as Raiden jerked and fell off the bed, while I flung out my arm shaking the thing off my hand and onto the bed. I scampered back as far as I could to the end of the bed, and kicked out my feet in the direction it had fallen. A flashlight switched on and Raiden looked incredulously at me and what I was trying to shuffle away with my feet. I saw it and screamed as he got out a hammer and smashed the giant tarantula twice.
I felt all the color draining from my face, and my energy along with it.
“Did it bite you?” he asked in aggravation.
I brought my hand up to my face immediately, “No, no marks!” I answered, exasperated.
“...good.” he looked me over and stopped at my chest, swallowing hard, the hammer still tensed in his hand. Afraid of seeing another tarantula on my chest I slowly looked down. My shirt had gotten partially pulled down below my glittery, bright pink bra. I moaned and pulled it back up, darting my eyes anywhere except his face.
Letting out a pent up breath, he picked up the tarantula's body-which amazingly still stuck together, and tossed it on the floor. There was a stain of guts on the top of the sheets now, where I'd be sleeping.
“So...you were just lying down when this happened?” he asked, suspicion apparent.
His knuckles were white, clutching the hammer. I lied fast.
“Well, I don't know, I was on my stomach when it happened-I just felt this thing on my hand-”
“Where was your hand?”
“I-uh-by the corner of the bed...”
“What was it doing by the corner of the bed?” he asked, voice low. I was sure he knew what I had been doing. I played dumb.
“What? The spider?”
“You know very well what I mean.” he snarled, gesturing my way with the hammer.
“I wasn't going to attack you-” I started on a desperate tangent. “I swear, I wasn't-the spider attacked me after all, how was I going to attack you-I didn't try anything!” He gave me this empty-eyed killer look, some predatory thing I couldn't describe, but it chilled me to the bone. It looked like he was at the edge when it came to dealing with me. And he hadn't let go of that hammer.
“I'm still tied up!” I exclaimed. He devoured me with his eyes.
“Yes and even if you had gotten-” he stopped, running his hand across his face. “Ah...” he threw the hammer at the dresser, and the loud crash made me jump.
“Do you want me to kill him?!” he bellowed. “Because his wining is really getting to me, and it is taking all that I have to keep from killing that pathetic, winy little b****!”
I cringed at the way he talked about John, “No-no, of course I don't want you to kill him-I won't do it again I promise!”
His hand swept to the back of his neck and he seemed to be in a constant state of unrest, walking here and there and glancing at me sporadically. He stopped and looked at the door. He retched off the board from it's lock.
“No!” I screamed, completely hysterical. “Please-please, nothing else will happen, as long as you don't touch me I'll sleep under the covers with you-we can keep warm that way-I'll help you whenever you're wounded, I'll cook for you-just not human meat! Please!”
He had one door creaked open and then stopped, his head turned my way.
“Ah-ah...Yes-yes-I'll clean too, heck, I'll even clean you if you want me to, and I'll-I'll...um-clean your clothing...ah-”
“...you mean to tell me if I untie you and let you do all these things, you'll do them for your boyfriend's life?”
“Yes! And I'll stay for John's life too-what's the use of trying to get away anyhow-you'll just catch me all over again!”
He laughed like he had me right where he wanted, and then looked at me with intelligent eyes like he knew something I didn't.
He closed the doors, and shoved back the board.
“Very well.” he answered, sounding overly pleased.
He sauntered over to the bed and turned off the flashlight. It was dark again, and I felt him move underneath the covers and onto the bed. I stayed on my knees wondering what kind of bargain I'd just made.
“Well are you going to join me, or do I have to get up in the middle of the night to kill your b**** of a boyfriend?”
I cringed again. This was not okay, I was not okay with this...and if I didn't John would die.
“Remember I said not to touch me.”
He made to get up.
“No-no-no, I'm doing it, see?”
I slipped under the covers and, despite the tarantula scare, squeezed myself as far as I could into the wall away from him.
“Ah-that's better,” he settled into bed and I felt him watching me. I turned my back to him and squashed my eyelids together.
For hours of fear it was like this, until I drifted to sleep in the early morning hours.
I awoke to some strains of golden sunlight coming through slightly open doors. He was gone, and on the end of the bed was a wrapped Twinkie. I snatched it up greedily and scarfed it down fast.
When I was done, screaming started echoing from the shed-John's!
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 22 Next »

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This book has 127 comments. Post your own now!

MJLoverNerd said...
Mar. 3, 2013 at 10:22 am
Wow this story was amazing! Please tell me you're getting published or better yet this is turning into a movie! This story was just perfect beyond words, and had me to the edge of my seat the whole time I was reading it. The only thing I would want is John alive :( lol you just want him to live but how the story came to you noneoftheless was perfect anyways. Very good job you're an exceptionally talented writer.
KateLA replied...
Mar. 3, 2013 at 8:03 pm
Thank you so much your comment made my day :-)
BabyGirl123o said...
Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:34 pm
I love it! it may have tok me a second but I loved it please go  comment on my picture itd called "Ushios Princess Form" it tok me almost 6 months to make it prefect hope you like it
KateLA replied...
Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:12 pm
Thank you very much! I looked for it under your name, but couldn't find it, so for now I'll comment and rate another piece of your work and you can tell me when it shows up, or if it's under a different name.
jeremiah said...
Jan. 7, 2013 at 2:23 pm
not true  
KateLA replied...
Mar. 3, 2013 at 8:01 pm
...not true, what? If it's in response to all the great comments I've been getting I would suggest you spend less time being jealous and bitter and more time working on your stuff..
Brownie said...
Oct. 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Spectacular!!!!! Outstanding!! LOVED IT!!! Just amazing. You are a fantastic author!
KateLA replied...
Oct. 19, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Thank you very much! If you have any work you want me to comment on let me know which one :-)
liveamongthestarsdieamongthepeople said...
Oct. 11, 2012 at 8:06 pm
just FANTASTICALLY WONDERFUL. no criticism whatsoever every word, analogy, flashback, plot, set up, and how it all played out. I can think of several best sellers that could never top this writing. Thank you.
KateLA replied...
Oct. 12, 2012 at 5:24 pm
Thank you so much, your comment made my day! If you have anything you want me to comment on just let me know which ones :-)
KateLA said...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Hi-thank you very much, I decided to make the epilogue into a part two, that should be about the same length as what I've wrote so far so I can double the pgs. Having some writer's block right now though and I'm also working on college classes as well as artwork for my brother. It might take another month or two but I will get stuff up eventually. Let me know if there is any work you want me to comment on :-)
KateLA said...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:49 pm
Thank you!
LiaHRojas said...
Oct. 5, 2012 at 8:54 pm
This is one AMAZING story. I absolutely love it. It has an intense grasp in the reader. It hooks the reader, crawls into their mind, and plants its claws inside before they can even react. It made my breath go away, and I was barely on the 2nd chapter. Marvelous job on creating such a wonderful artwork. :)  Also if their is a sequel please inform me. I would be very interested to read it.
KateLA replied...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Hi-thank you very much, I decided to make the epilogue into a part two, that should be about the same length as what I've wrote so far so I can double the pgs. Having some writer's block right now though and I'm also working on college classes as well as artwork for my brother. It might take another month or two but I will get stuff up eventually. Let me know if there is any work you want me to comment on :-)
. said...
Aug. 31, 2012 at 8:05 am
KateLA replied...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Thank you!
JamesCharles said...
Aug. 29, 2012 at 4:06 am
please post more this is great
KateLA replied...
Aug. 30, 2012 at 8:26 pm
Thank you very much, I'm glad you like it! Right now I'm editing this part, and I'm working on adding at least double the pages of what it is now, which will get into the main character basically struggling with her boyfriend's death and then going badass when she finds out that there have been more killings on the same highway-by who, no one knows. I'll probably post a rough draft of the next chapter sometime around next week. Anything you want me to comment on, just let... (more »)
matches5 replied...
Sept. 1, 2012 at 9:36 pm
This is the best book ive ever read even though it is shorter than most books its still awesome. I only started reading it for a class assignment and by the 3rd page i was reading it on my free time im only 13 and dont usually read these books but this is the best. i cant wait till the next one.
KateLA replied...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:00 pm
Thank you very much! That's cool, that you were reading it for an assignment, what sort of assignment was it?
Salvador_Dollee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 6, 2012 at 4:50 pm
I didnt get to read all of it but from what ive read so far its really really good!

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