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If I kissed you...

Author's note: Writing is my passion. If I don't write daily, I feel like my day is incomplete. I wrote this to...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: Writing is my passion. If I don't write daily, I feel like my day is incomplete. I wrote this to showcase where I am currently at, regarding talent in writing. Currently I have at least five other books I've started on which have the same amount of dedication and talent. When I manage to get a publisher I'll publish them as well when they are finished. This is the first big piece I've put out there that I feel truly shows where I am at in my writing. If you like it, keep in mind this is only part 1, and part 2 is in the works. Any good and constructive feedback is more than welcome. The more feedback I get, the more I will consider there being a part three.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 22 Next »


He gathered the plates, and left, presumably to the shed. It was dark now, the shadows from outside filled the room. When he came back he looked at me awkwardly like he didn't know what to expect from me. It was almost like he was nervous in his own messed up way. He closed one door, and then the other, latching them with a thick board he picked up. He gave me the same side-glancing nervous look and took off his bloody shirt, I cringed into the corner though he was not going towards me, but the dresser. As he was pulling out some wiry string, scissors, and a needle, I noticed all the other scars on his back. They were long and thick, some of them carried all the way down to his pants line. He looked at me head on, and I saw he had the same scars all across his torso, there was barely any space left clean of them. Like my scars, only worse.
“Do you know how to sew?” he asked roughly, his eyes cold.
“Yes-well sort of-” I stammered.
He handed me the needle and thread, keeping the scissors away on the nightstand. He eyed me skeptically, tearing off the gauze from his shoulder wound and then startled me, as he inched onto the bed watching me closely with the needle. He slowly laid on his back, his eyes not missing a heartbeat.
What could I do with a needle? I decided quickly that I should play along and try to get his trust so that I can run away.
“H-have, you cleaned it?” I asked, looking the deep wound over for any sign of dirt.
“It's clean.” he muttered.
Thankfully it was on the shoulder nearest to me and so I didn't have to lean over him. I started tying a knot in the string and since my fingers shook, I decided to make some conversation.
“So...how did you get all those scars?”
“My father. People.” he answered, his eyes cold.
I figured I shouldn't pursue the subject.
“...What should I call you? Wha-”
“You can call me Raiden.”
I finished the knot. I looked at his skin, if I hurt him would he kill me?
“Is that your real name?”
He was silent. And then, “It's like my real name, only different. Go ahead and start stitching.”
I looked over the wound again and because it was so deep I figured it should have deeper stitches than the regular shallow gashes.
“Okay, I just want you to know that I'm going to have to make the stitches deeper since the wound is so deep, so the skin holds the wound good and it doesn't rip open.”
He nodded gruffly. And without wanting to drag it on, I pierced through the skin. Little red dots appeared around the stitching as he let in a sharp intake of air, and then seemed deep in concentration on hiding the pain.
Unsure of what I was doing, I still made the stitches about a fourth of an inch thick, and used the same length as the depth to space them. I just hoped this was how I was supposed to do it, if it got ripped or infected he would probably be blaming me for it. And I wouldn't know what would come after that. I noticed his fists were clenching, but I did it as fast and meticulous as I could.
“Done.” I said after the last stitch. “Just have to tighten it,” I had been making tight stitches but I didn't want it to get infected. He cringed as I pulled it together tight. “...and tie the knot.”
Once the knot was tied, he grabbed the scissor and since he moved fast I slammed myself back into the wall. He looked at me and grabbed the fallen needle, “Skittish?” he asked, grinning tortuously, and cut the thread. He got up nimbly, and pulled open the bottom drawer of his dresser to get some bourbon, he hissed as he poured it over his wound.
“Ah...” he exclaimed in pain before taking a drink. He tossed it back into the drawer, and took a jagged piece of mirror out of another one, examining my work. Then it dawned on me and I felt stupid for it's lateness. I was still on his bed.
“...where will I sleep?”
He glanced at me, “On my bed, unless you wish to take a chance with the scorpions?” his eyebrows were raised in a tense manner, and I thought of why he left the doors open since I woke up-could it have been for that very reason? Maybe he wanted me to to sleep on the floor and get bit.
I still couldn't decide whether to say I preferred the floor. If I did would he kill me? He took my silence as an affirmation. Apparently pleased with my work, he tossed the mirror on the dresser and took off his pants. I started wrenching against the rope tying my wrist, but it held strong and so I inched away from the corner so I wouldn't be pinned.
“Your winy boyfriend...he's not dead. If you plan on him surviving the night, I wouldn't be trying anything if I were you.”
“And what about you? Will you be trying anything?” I accused, unable to hold back my venom.
He chuckled, “That depends.”
He turned off the light and everything was dark. I felt him moving onto the bed, and felt him staring my direction. Finally after some minutes of pure terror he moved onto his back and underneath the covers. I swallowed the lump in my throat louder than I'd wanted. He was constantly keeping me on edge. He wanted control, and this must be one of his tactics.
He just laid there, stiff as a board and I knew he was awake. He was either waiting to make his move, or for me to settle into a sleeping position-or both.
“Lay down.” he commanded.
“So I'll feel you move if you try to knock me unconscious like you did the last time, remember?”
“If this is some-” I screamed as he lurched up and grabbed me, tossing me down on the bed.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 22 Next »

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This book has 127 comments. Post your own now!

MJLoverNerd said...
Mar. 3, 2013 at 10:22 am
Wow this story was amazing! Please tell me you're getting published or better yet this is turning into a movie! This story was just perfect beyond words, and had me to the edge of my seat the whole time I was reading it. The only thing I would want is John alive :( lol you just want him to live but how the story came to you noneoftheless was perfect anyways. Very good job you're an exceptionally talented writer.
KateLA replied...
Mar. 3, 2013 at 8:03 pm
Thank you so much your comment made my day :-)
BabyGirl123o said...
Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:34 pm
I love it! it may have tok me a second but I loved it please go  comment on my picture itd called "Ushios Princess Form" it tok me almost 6 months to make it prefect hope you like it
KateLA replied...
Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:12 pm
Thank you very much! I looked for it under your name, but couldn't find it, so for now I'll comment and rate another piece of your work and you can tell me when it shows up, or if it's under a different name.
jeremiah said...
Jan. 7, 2013 at 2:23 pm
not true  
KateLA replied...
Mar. 3, 2013 at 8:01 pm
...not true, what? If it's in response to all the great comments I've been getting I would suggest you spend less time being jealous and bitter and more time working on your stuff..
Brownie said...
Oct. 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Spectacular!!!!! Outstanding!! LOVED IT!!! Just amazing. You are a fantastic author!
KateLA replied...
Oct. 19, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Thank you very much! If you have any work you want me to comment on let me know which one :-)
liveamongthestarsdieamongthepeople said...
Oct. 11, 2012 at 8:06 pm
just FANTASTICALLY WONDERFUL. no criticism whatsoever every word, analogy, flashback, plot, set up, and how it all played out. I can think of several best sellers that could never top this writing. Thank you.
KateLA replied...
Oct. 12, 2012 at 5:24 pm
Thank you so much, your comment made my day! If you have anything you want me to comment on just let me know which ones :-)
KateLA said...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Hi-thank you very much, I decided to make the epilogue into a part two, that should be about the same length as what I've wrote so far so I can double the pgs. Having some writer's block right now though and I'm also working on college classes as well as artwork for my brother. It might take another month or two but I will get stuff up eventually. Let me know if there is any work you want me to comment on :-)
KateLA said...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:49 pm
Thank you!
LiaHRojas said...
Oct. 5, 2012 at 8:54 pm
This is one AMAZING story. I absolutely love it. It has an intense grasp in the reader. It hooks the reader, crawls into their mind, and plants its claws inside before they can even react. It made my breath go away, and I was barely on the 2nd chapter. Marvelous job on creating such a wonderful artwork. :)  Also if their is a sequel please inform me. I would be very interested to read it.
KateLA replied...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Hi-thank you very much, I decided to make the epilogue into a part two, that should be about the same length as what I've wrote so far so I can double the pgs. Having some writer's block right now though and I'm also working on college classes as well as artwork for my brother. It might take another month or two but I will get stuff up eventually. Let me know if there is any work you want me to comment on :-)
. said...
Aug. 31, 2012 at 8:05 am
KateLA replied...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Thank you!
JamesCharles said...
Aug. 29, 2012 at 4:06 am
please post more this is great
KateLA replied...
Aug. 30, 2012 at 8:26 pm
Thank you very much, I'm glad you like it! Right now I'm editing this part, and I'm working on adding at least double the pages of what it is now, which will get into the main character basically struggling with her boyfriend's death and then going badass when she finds out that there have been more killings on the same highway-by who, no one knows. I'll probably post a rough draft of the next chapter sometime around next week. Anything you want me to comment on, just let... (more »)
matches5 replied...
Sept. 1, 2012 at 9:36 pm
This is the best book ive ever read even though it is shorter than most books its still awesome. I only started reading it for a class assignment and by the 3rd page i was reading it on my free time im only 13 and dont usually read these books but this is the best. i cant wait till the next one.
KateLA replied...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:00 pm
Thank you very much! That's cool, that you were reading it for an assignment, what sort of assignment was it?
Salvador_Dollee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 6, 2012 at 4:50 pm
I didnt get to read all of it but from what ive read so far its really really good!

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