Facebook Activity

Teen Ink on Twitter

Report abuse Submit my work Share/bookmark Email Print Home

Th Asylum

Author's note: This is basically everything I think about at night turned into a creepy story.
Author's note: This is basically everything I think about at night turned into a creepy story.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next »

Justice and Words

(Justice and Words)
The final man I “chat with” scares me.
He’s very tall, very white, and very, very thin. He’s much too thin.
Like the other two, he’s nuts.
Like the other two, he’s right.
Like the other two, I have a leaning towards his way of thinking.
That’s what scares me.
The other two do no harm, they just can’t see why we don’t see; they can’t comprehend how we don’t hear.
This man does something about injustice.
He told me that his sister got brutalized and killed by her boyfriend.
He tells me that’s how he began, how he ended.
“I hated him. Who wouldn’t? The monster deserved everything I did to him. I returned the favor. I removed a real madman from the world. There wasn’t enough evidence, so they let him go. By the words of our just and equal nation, a villain walked the streets unharmed. An animal mauled my sister. Would I have been right not to carve it up?
“I was and am in the right. After I’d finished him, I realized that he’s not alone. Depravity and evil pollute our cities, and people do care, but not enough.
“How dare we let them be! We are weak; we are fools, but I stopped my folly. I put childish ways behind me. I cleaned the blood of the innocent with the blood of demons, and society punished my because of my work. I was the only one doing right, but they would not accept me.
“Humanity fears what it does not understand. How don’t we understand justice? God has instilled a conscious in us all, but we stifle it.
“Not me though…”
I’m never sure about this man.
He’s got good intentions, but can he be right to attempt to combat evil by sending it to hell?
God is judge. God decides on what’s just.
Is this man acting on the will of God, or is he playing God?
He is right about the lack of justice in humans though. Why don’t we punish evil quickly and efficiently?
Is it perhaps the very conflict that I feel right now, the fear of playing God?
“I have never sent a man to hell who does not deserve to be there. Animals have no spirit, it’s not murder to kill a cockroach.”
…but Paul was a man who mass murdered Christians, and he became the greatest missionary.
Our race avoids personal conflict as often as possible. We tend to dislike pain, even healthy pain, especially healthy pain. Like I said, I’m still not sure.
This man is also a writer, the best I’ve ever read.
“The one thing they hate more than justice is speech.
“Words are the most potent force we can attempt to bridle. Nothing else is a perfect manifestation of the innermost mind and thoughts of man. Words are realizations of ideas. Ideas are what have taken us anywhere. Words create and destroy empires. They kill infants and bring them into existence. They have been behind all art, all music, and all advances. Books have changed our ways of thinking many times; they have changed our way of living just as often.
“Nothing is more potent than a book.”
Whenever I talk to him, another small piece of the book Fahrenheit 451 leaps into my mind’s eye:
“I want to see everything now. And while none of it will be me when it goes in, after a while it'll all gather together inside and it'll be me. Look at the world out there, my God, my God, look at it out there, outside me, out there beyond my face and the only way to really touch it is to put it where it's finally me, where it's in the blood, where it pumps around a thousand times ten thousand a day. I get hold of it so it'll never run off. I'll hold on to the world tight some day. I've got one finger on it now; that's a beginning.”
It’s a book that speaks of a society that has intentionally stopped living, stopped seeing, stopped hearing, stopped caring, a most importantly, stopped reading. It was a hideously honest and predictive book, and I can bet many people don’t like what it shows them, or they simply pretend not to notice.
It reminds me a lot of these men, these honest, horrible, twisted, and completely right men.
The result of their revelations was being drugged, discredited, and locked away.
I don’t like this.
My job’s done for the day, as useless and scary and thought provoking as ever.
As I head home, I know there is no way that I’ll be sleeping tonight.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next »

Join the Discussion

This book has 22 comments. Post your own now!

ShayleeMar said...
Mar. 11, 2012 at 6:47 pm

I love the way you write. I makes you think and wonder. I think that this would really confuse the kids in my philosophy class. Wow so deep and insightful it made me wonder whether the crazy are sane and the sane crazy and ignorant. I thouroghly enjoyed it.

DallysGrrl said...
Aug. 28, 2011 at 2:12 pm
I thought that this novel was really great! The interesting stand that your character makes and the position that he's been put into is something that I rarely see done well. Your descriptions were wonderfully engrossing and I loved that you created three unique but ultimately alike characters that influence your narrator so greatly. I was impressed! I hope that you can check out some of my work, especially my thriller stuff like Solitude and Secrets, Secrets are No Fun. Thanks and great job!
RhythmAndRhyme said...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 4:33 pm

This is utterly, absolutely, and without a doubt on this Earth the best, most powerful, most beautiful, and most insightful work I've read on this website.

It leaves one to wonder.

IncorrectlyWired replied...
Aug. 5, 2011 at 9:52 pm
Wow! Thank you! :D This is without a doubt, the most complimentary comment I've ever received... and I usually receive good feedback. :O
RhythmAndRhyme replied...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 8:25 pm

lol you're welcome! I've always loved this sort of thing (even though I'm not particularly sure how to describe exactly what "this sort of thing" is....). I've read many things vaguely similar to this, but this, by far, was the best. All of your stuff is amazing, to be honest.

I especially love Robinson the Clown (both the original and the rewrite).

IncorrectlyWired replied...
Aug. 12, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Which is funny, because that one was one of my least favorites... Thank you though, I love when people love my work. I also love when people don't love it, and honestly tell me why, but in an entirely different way.
DisicpleofChristandJesusEnthusiast said...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 1:39 pm
I really liked this. If you can check out my stuff that would be cool. REALLY loved it!
JustEmily said...
Jul. 5, 2011 at 1:24 pm
Just wondering: Is it supposed to be "The Asylum" and not "Th Asylum"?
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jul. 5, 2011 at 5:46 pm
... Yes, I know. I noticed that as soon as it was too late. :/ That's the one thing I'd change about this site: you can't edit stuff once it's posted. Anyway, what did you think otherwise? :P
NinjaGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 9:30 am
Wow. That was quite intriguing and really makes the reader think! I really don't have any criticisms! Awesome job. Keep up the good work :)
freeflow23 said...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 2:28 pm
This was an intriguing read. It's amazing how your mind works and how you managed to put it all on paper.
WritingSpasms said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 7:41 pm
This is probably one of the most interesting novels I have read on here. Honestly, I have no criticisms. I love psycho thrillers. They creep the living daylights out of me, but I can never stop reading them. And I assure you that you've done a fantastic job of doing that. xD Well done!
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 10:44 am
Thank you! (And I know what you mean about the no criticisms thing) occasionally I'll read stories that are too good, or I'm just not thoughtful enough, so I can't think of any complaint.
Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Even agreeing with CarrieAnn13 that the long dialogue made it a bit unrealistic, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I think you should keep it exactly the way it is, because your message is really interesting. Nobody does ever know if they're 'mad'--that's just a term for someone who thinks differently than everyone else. If there were a favorite button for a novel, I would totally make this a favorite. It was kind of poetic, in a way, and I absolutely loved your diction. It was perfect. You des... (more »)

IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 10:39 am
Yeah... I meant that it's short for a chapter book. I wasnt' quite sure what to call it. It seemed slightly short even for a novella, but slightly too long for a short story. :/ Anyway, thanks for the feedback!
Finchy said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 6:44 pm


I enjoyed your story! Ever since I was old enough to read, I have enjoyed psychological thrillers. Getting to listen in on the thoughts of a man losing his mind is something that can only be experienced in fictionl, and you have done a swell job at representing it here. I thought this was a very dark, brooding novel and look forward to reading more of your work.



IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 10:41 am
Thank you! It's always been something I was interested in, and honestly, (not quite to the same extent of course) the main character's thoughts are my thoughts. I pretty much wrote the first two chapters verbally at three in the morning. :D
CarrieAnn13 said...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 8:17 pm
This was a chilling book.  It's an interesting read and I really enjoyed it.  I know it's hard, but by making the dialogue a little bit shorter could also make it more realistic.  Other than that, good job!
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 10:44 pm
except that it's not really dialogue... it's more of a monologue. I did it intentionally, this story is about the point, not realism or even the "plot." Thank you for the imput, I hate when people just say "OMG! THIS IS SOOO GOOD! <3" Even if I disagree, you obviously thought about it.
Shadowrider replied...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 11:20 pm
This was beautiful, disturbing, and all to true! The way you write electrifies and makes you think. Utterly, Completely, Amazing!

Launch Teen Ink Chat
Site Feedback