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Th Asylum

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Author's note: This is basically everything I think about at night turned into a creepy story.
Author's note: This is basically everything I think about at night turned into a creepy story.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next »

Light and Color

3
(Light and Color)

Her hair is stringy and matted with his blood. This hospital is clean and modern, but some patients will not be mocked with the “comfort” and the “care” that we attempt to provide.
Her eyes, so light brown that they almost appear orange, are quite odd, like the eyes of a woman who’s seen very wrong things. They are always wide open… wide open, and deeply set into her slightly chubby face, as if they are trying to hide, trying to escape things that are not meant to be witnessed. She can’t help it.
She never looks at your eyes. She studies everything, anything else. She hates eyes, our eyes which do not see what she sees. She says we see nothing.
“You again.”
Yes, me again.
“This mirror, do you see the redness? I think it’s upset. Mirrors are about vision; you all don’t seem to see. Why can’t you see? I guess since you can’t see, you’d have no reason to notice the anger of the unseen.
“These walls, made in a feeble attempt to stop my vision, but how can you obscure what you don’t know in the first place? How did you miss the pictures, the art, the beautiful subtle colors in every shadow, every line and crevice of this gallery?
“Les arbres! Les taches! Je dois les dessiner. Sens, clair et merveilleux, est affiché dans toute la création, et il détruit l'humanité. Nous prétendons aimer la beauté, mais la vraie beauté est incompréhensible!”
She does that occasionally.
We try to go with it.
No one she likes knows French. Well, she doesn’t like anyone, but she tolerates me.
“Mankind hates the incomprehensible. Still, I try! I am without honor among my people. A bearer of bad news receives no payment in this society, but I do my duty. I draw. I paint. I see! Pouvez-vous ne voyez pas?”
I looked at her work, sprawled along the entire length of his cell, it was horrifying, not because of the blood and dirt, but because I almost understood it. She saw something that I nearly had once.
I suffer from insomnia. I say suffer, not because of a lack of rest, but because I almost see; I almost hear, and there’s darkness.
“Light blocks out our mind. We truly see best in dark. Night is the day for a human with eyes. There is silence; there is contrast; there is real power and vitality flowing through the stilled air. Grillons connais le mieux, and I must remember the stories that are told.”
Can’t you see why I’m inclined towards this horror? It makes so much sense. I wonder how many have snatched a glimmer of vision while they lay sick and feverish, confined to bed but unable to sleep away the realness. Then they forget. Of course, we don’t want to remember, so we forget.
I’m not sure if I want to remember either. I don’t know if I do remember. I’m not even certain that it happened.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next »


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This book has 22 comments. Post your own!

ShayleeMarThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 11, 2012 at 6:47 pm:
Amazing!

I love the way you write. I makes you think and wonder. I think that this would really confuse the kids in my philosophy class. Wow so deep and insightful it made me wonder whether the crazy are sane and the sane crazy and ignorant. I thouroghly enjoyed it.

 
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DallysGrrl said...
Aug. 28, 2011 at 2:12 pm:
I thought that this novel was really great! The interesting stand that your character makes and the position that he's been put into is something that I rarely see done well. Your descriptions were wonderfully engrossing and I loved that you created three unique but ultimately alike characters that influence your narrator so greatly. I was impressed! I hope that you can check out some of my work, especially my thriller stuff like Solitude and Secrets, Secrets are No Fun. Thanks and great job!
 
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RhythmAndRhyme said...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 4:33 pm:

This is utterly, absolutely, and without a doubt on this Earth the best, most powerful, most beautiful, and most insightful work I've read on this website.

It leaves one to wonder.

 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Aug. 5, 2011 at 9:52 pm :
Wow! Thank you! :D This is without a doubt, the most complimentary comment I've ever received... and I usually receive good feedback. :O
 
RhythmAndRhyme replied...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 8:25 pm :

lol you're welcome! I've always loved this sort of thing (even though I'm not particularly sure how to describe exactly what "this sort of thing" is....). I've read many things vaguely similar to this, but this, by far, was the best. All of your stuff is amazing, to be honest.

I especially love Robinson the Clown (both the original and the rewrite).

 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Aug. 12, 2011 at 5:45 pm :
Which is funny, because that one was one of my least favorites... Thank you though, I love when people love my work. I also love when people don't love it, and honestly tell me why, but in an entirely different way.
 
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DisicpleofChristandJesusEnthusiast said...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 1:39 pm:
I really liked this. If you can check out my stuff that would be cool. REALLY loved it!
 
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JustEmily said...
Jul. 5, 2011 at 1:24 pm:
Just wondering: Is it supposed to be "The Asylum" and not "Th Asylum"?
 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jul. 5, 2011 at 5:46 pm :
... Yes, I know. I noticed that as soon as it was too late. :/ That's the one thing I'd change about this site: you can't edit stuff once it's posted. Anyway, what did you think otherwise? :P
 
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NinjaGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 9:30 am:
Wow. That was quite intriguing and really makes the reader think! I really don't have any criticisms! Awesome job. Keep up the good work :)
 
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freeflow23 said...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 2:28 pm:
This was an intriguing read. It's amazing how your mind works and how you managed to put it all on paper.
 
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WritingSpasms said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 7:41 pm:
This is probably one of the most interesting novels I have read on here. Honestly, I have no criticisms. I love psycho thrillers. They creep the living daylights out of me, but I can never stop reading them. And I assure you that you've done a fantastic job of doing that. xD Well done!
 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 10:44 am :
Thank you! (And I know what you mean about the no criticisms thing) occasionally I'll read stories that are too good, or I'm just not thoughtful enough, so I can't think of any complaint.
 
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Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 7:19 pm:

Even agreeing with CarrieAnn13 that the long dialogue made it a bit unrealistic, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I think you should keep it exactly the way it is, because your message is really interesting. Nobody does ever know if they're 'mad'--that's just a term for someone who thinks differently than everyone else. If there were a favorite button for a novel, I would totally make this a favorite. It was kind of poetic, in a way, and I absolutely loved your diction. It was perfect. You des... (more »)

 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 10:39 am :
Yeah... I meant that it's short for a chapter book. I wasnt' quite sure what to call it. It seemed slightly short even for a novella, but slightly too long for a short story. :/ Anyway, thanks for the feedback!
 
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Finchy said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 6:44 pm:

IncorrectlyWired

I enjoyed your story! Ever since I was old enough to read, I have enjoyed psychological thrillers. Getting to listen in on the thoughts of a man losing his mind is something that can only be experienced in fictionl, and you have done a swell job at representing it here. I thought this was a very dark, brooding novel and look forward to reading more of your work.

Cheers

Finchy

 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 10:41 am :
Thank you! It's always been something I was interested in, and honestly, (not quite to the same extent of course) the main character's thoughts are my thoughts. I pretty much wrote the first two chapters verbally at three in the morning. :D
 
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CarrieAnn13 said...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 8:17 pm:
This was a chilling book.  It's an interesting read and I really enjoyed it.  I know it's hard, but by making the dialogue a little bit shorter could also make it more realistic.  Other than that, good job!
 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 10:44 pm :
except that it's not really dialogue... it's more of a monologue. I did it intentionally, this story is about the point, not realism or even the "plot." Thank you for the imput, I hate when people just say "OMG! THIS IS SOOO GOOD! <3" Even if I disagree, you obviously thought about it.
 
Shadowrider replied...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 11:20 pm :
This was beautiful, disturbing, and all to true! The way you write electrifies and makes you think. Utterly, Completely, Amazing!
 
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