Mysterious Love | Teen Ink

Mysterious Love

December 18, 2010
By -Missy- BRONZE, ahhh, South Dakota
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-Missy- BRONZE, Ahhh, South Dakota
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My body lay there, not moving an inch. That red car I see driving down the street. Only belongs to one person I know, and that car would be yours. I can feel my life, spilling out of me. My skin is starting to get red and sticky. Blackness is taking over my eyes, fading on the edges of my view.
Earlier on this day, I went to school. Normal day, normal friends, normal teachers, normal homework, and normal boyfriend. You see me walking down the hallway and come running over, giving me a big bear hug, and a little kiss on the cheek. You walk me to my classes, and wait for me at the end. This would be a normal day for Eclipse Errant. How do you spend your days? I'm not so sure about that, but I will have a feeling of what you do after this night.
After school we go to your place. We get our homework done and plan to go out for the night. I have to go to my house real quick because I need to change into something other than regular school clothes. You drive me there in your red Comet. That thing was a great ride, smooth and hot at the same time. You had the best car in town for all I know. I only took a couple of minutes to change into something else, and then I was out the door, heading for your car.
When I opened up the door you were on your cell phone. You looked over and smiled, then put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway. We went to the movies, I wasn’t very interested in the movie we picked, but as long as I was with you, I would be fine. You and I both were getting hungry, so we decided to get a quick snack on the way home. Except when we were about to turn into the restaurant, you kept going straight. I thought to myself that maybe we were going somewhere else, but we just kept on going straight. Before I knew it, we were driving on an isolated road, in the middle of nowhere for all I knew.
You turned down a gravel road, and drove for at least another mile or two. I couldn’t see any city lights or any houses. You pulled over behind a vehicle that looked like it had been deserted for quite a while now. All of a sudden I saw a movement inside the car, and then someone was getting out of it. I didn’t want to ask any questions, but once this stranger stepped inside the car and closed the door, I could smell the smoke and alcohol.
His voice was low and creepy, I don’t know how but it scared me. He started stroking my hair, and you just sat there and watched a big grin across your face. I tried to not react like it was a big deal, but that didn’t happen. I pulled away and just stared, I was debating if I was going to start to yell at you for letting him touch me. Then decided not to, the way you reacted to of how I reacted.
You slapped me across my face, and I was in pure shock. You grabbed my hair and slammed my head against the dashboard, pain ripped throughout my head. The guy in the back got out and came to my door, ripping it open and forcing me out. He practically dragged me by my hair to the back seat. I tried to scream, but no one was around to hear. The man put his hand over my mouth, and started to become greedy. He ripped my shirt open, and pulled my pants down, leaving me practically naked. I tried to fight him, but it was no use, I would never be able to fight him off.
Hours later I lay there on my lawn bleeding from I don’t know where. All I know is that I’m going to die; I was raped by you and your brother. Once I saw his face I knew, he was the brother you were so close too. The one you did everything with, the one you always talked about. I hear screaming and sirens in the background. I know someone is shaking me, but I can’t feel it. I can barely keep my eyes open, everything is going quiet. The last thing I saw before I died was your red car driving down the street. You never turned around, to come to my rescue, you just kept going. The thing that really did kill me at the end was after you were done with me, and dumping my body on my lawn. You gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, saying I love you, for the first time in our lives.

“Come on Ash, get over it already,” said Jake.
“How can I when she was the only girl I ever loved?” Ash said snarling at his brother.
“You can’t be serious right?” Jake said with sarcastic and surprise behind his voice.
Ash ignored his brother while driving down the highway, trying to watch for exit signs. He heard a familiar song on the radio, and then turned it up. This was there song, his and Eclipse’s, it was one of the songs they both liked. He found the exit he was finally looking out for, and then got into the other lane, going down the ramp. He drove for miles it seemed before they reached civilization, or at least a building in sight.
It was at least 9:30 PM when they arrived at the Motel 6. You could tell that trouble was a part in the city because of the graffiti sprayed along the walls. Ash told his brother to stay put while he went in and got a room with two beds. Minutes later he came back with a room key, they found a parking spot right up in the front because they were the only guests here.
They brought in the duffel bag full of clothes, for both Ash and Jake. They were going to be staying at this motel for at least three days, trying to decide of where they should go from there.
“Try to get some sleep Ash, we have a long day tomorrow,” says Jake.
“Sure it is, just like the day when you made me watch you rape my dead girlfriend,” says Ash.
Jake got up from the bed he lied down on, and walked across the room. Facing Ash who was sitting on the other bed, Jake back – handed Ash right across the right side of the face.
“Ouch!” screamed Ash, putting his hand to his face.
“Will you shut up about that chick already? She was nothing but a waste of space anyways,” grumbled Jake.
“That chick you are referring to has a name, it’s Eclipse.” Ash said, standing up trying to stand his ground.
“What do you mean has, she’s dead remember? You helped me dump her body on the ground in front of her house,” Said Jake.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore!” cried Ash, knowing what he did was wrong.
The next day Ash and Jake got into the car and explored the town they were in. Seeing kids out on the streets, shooting baskets with balls that probably weren’t even rubber.
“Wow, talk about ghetto streets,” said Jake.
“Ha-ha, yeah no kidding,” said Ash.
Later that night they arrived back at the motel, feeling tired and useless Ash walked over to his bed and lied down, wanting to sleep.
“I’m going out,” said Jake.
Ash raised his head to see his brother walking towards the door.
“What do you mean you are going out?” said Ash.
“It means I’m going to leave and come back really late, so late that you are probably going to be sleeping when I get back,” said Jake who was obviously trying to get the conversation over and done with.
“Fine, just don’t leave the car somewhere and then get drunk. We both know how you are when you get drunk, you can’t remember things very well,” said Ash.
“Yeah sure fine, whatever,” Jake grumbled walking out the door.
Ash fell asleep shortly afterwards his brother left, waking up in the morning noticing that his brother was still gone. Ash got up and walked outside, seeing that the car wasn’t back either. Ash locked the motel door and started walking; he looked everywhere he could possibly think of where his brother may be. Until he saw the red Comet sitting there on the side of the street. Ash picked up the pace, running over and looking inside the car, seeing that his brother was sleeping in the driver’s seat.
Ash knocked on the window trying to get Jake up, but he would not wake up. There was only one thing Ash could do to get inside the locked car; he had to break the window. Ash walked over to the passenger side, not wanting to glass all over Jake when he broke the window. With a loud smash a little later, Ash had broken the window. He crawled into the passenger seat, and then shook his brother violently. Jake just would not wake up, and then Ash noticed why. Jake was bleeding from his torso; he must have been shot or stabbed, more likely stabbed because shooting was just too loud.
There was only one thing Ash could do at this point, and that was panic. He could only remember some things his brother taught him of how to get rid of a body. So Ash walked around to the driver door, opened it up and pushed Jake into the passenger seat. Ash started the car up, and drove down the road, making sure that no one would follow him he took a lot of turns and twists. He finally arrived at a stop in front of the forest line. He made sure no one was around before he pulled Jake’s body out of the car. Then he dragged Jake by his t-shirt into the forest, he wanted to make sure no one would come out here and find it so he just kept dragging until he couldn’t go any further.
At this point, Ash was a complete emotion mess. He just lost his girlfriend by his brother, and now his brother’s life was taken by someone he did not know, so maybe he was next. That thought just made Ash creeped out even more, so he tried to get the thought out of his head before he could think about it more. Ash had laid Jakes body in some fallen leaves, and then added some more on top. Ash got up; his knees covered in mud, said one last goodbye to his dead brother then started to run. He had to get back to his car before someone might try to steal it.
Ash got back to his car, tears streaming down his face, slid into the driver’s seat, shutting the door, and then locking them both. Ash sat there with his head in his hands, just crying and crying. He made sure that he could cry no longer until he started up the car. He was feeling even worse when he remembered about leaving all the clothes at the motel, but he couldn’t go back to get them now. If someone found Jake’s body, it would be all over the news about two brothers coming into town, then just one being found dead. Ash had to keep going, so he did. He looked in the rear view mirror, trying to get one last glance of the town until he saw someone in the back seat. Just staring at him, the next thing that happened to Ash was that he saw complete darkness.

Ash woke up in a dark room, remembering the man in his back-seat he began to panic. He tried to scream for help but all he got was complete silence. His chair he was sitting in was bolted down to the floor. His ankles tied to the chair with rope, his wrists with chains. He couldn’t escape the chair, he got his ankles free, but his wrists were still stuck. He tried yanking on the chains with all his might, but he couldn’t get it. Ash kept trying though; he wouldn’t give up so easily.
Ash was becoming more tired with each pull he put on the chain, and decided to take a rest. He sat down on the cold floor, sweat coming off his face. All of a sudden, a door came open, and a man walked in. The man turned on a switch, having light burst into the room.
“What do you want from me!” screamed Ash.
The man just chuckled and picked up a clipboard. Looking through many papers, he finally spoke.
“I’m Dr Fife, and I will be the one treating you and such.” said the man.
“What do you mean treating? I don’t need any treating, I’m healthy!” Ash yelled.
“Do you have to keep screaming like that?” said Dr Fife, covering up his ears.
“No, but I want to know why I’m in here.” Ash said quietly.
“That’s much better,” said Dr Fife, uncovering his ears.
“Are you going to tell me or not?” said Ash, speaking a little louder.
“The less you know, the better it’ll be for you,” said Dr Fife.
Ash sat there, not believing what he is hearing, watching Dr Fife flip through the different papers. Dr Fife put the clipboard down and walked towards Ash. He brought out a ring of keys, and unlocked a lock that was hidden from Ash. Ash finally brought his arms to his front seeing the marks from the chains on his arms. Dr Fife picked up the clipboard and walked by Ash. He went out the door, turned around and faced Ash.
“Welcome to Oxford Ash, one of the most well known insane asylums!” said Dr Fife, slamming the door shut.

Ash ran towards the door and tried to pry the door open. It was too late; Dr Fife already put the lock on. Ash looked around the room, looking for something that might help him, but saw nothing. He walked over to a counter and opened all the drawers, seeing nothing but dust.
“I don’t belong here.” Ash muttered as he sat down on the floor.
Twenty minutes later the door started to open slightly, Ash looked up and expected to see Dr Fife but saw a girl standing there and smiling at him.
“Who are you?” Ash said tiredly.
The girl crossed her arms and said, “Well I’m sorry to bother you, but you’re the new kid here and I thought to come welcome you to Oxford.”
“You mean this is real? It’s not a dream?” Ash questioned.
The girl laughed, “If you thought this was a dream; then you do belong here.”
Ash stood up to tower over the girl, “I don’t belong here, and what do you want from me anyway?”
“Like I told you before,” the girl said as she pushed Ash away a little, “I wanted to welcome you.”
“Yeah I know what you said, you wanted to welcome me to Oxford, and you have so why don’t you leave?”
“Well I haven’t even told you my name yet, and why I think you and I are going to be great friends.” The girl said, ending it with a smile.
Ash sighed, “Then tell me.”
“Well my name is Thorn, and I know you aren’t insane, just like me.” Thorn said resting a hand on Ash’s shoulder.
“Well I wouldn’t call you sane,” Ash muttered.
Thorn crossed her arms and looked at Ash with attitude on her face, “What is that suppose to mean?”
“Oh nothing,” said Ash.
“The point is they got you in here when you’re not insane.” Thorn said.
“What are you trying to say?” Ash asked puzzled.
“It means that they wanted you in here for something. They’ll probably run tests on you, and then probably kill you afterwards.” Thorn said.
“What? No!” Ash yelled.
“Shhhh, they’ll hear you!” Thorn said, running over to Ash and covering up his mouth with her hands.
Ash started to quiet down, as he smelt Thorn’s scent in his nose, it smelt like rain and soap mixed together.
“You’ve been outside!” Ash said excitedly, “Can you help me get out of here?”
“Now you start to figure things out,” Thorn said throwing her arms up.
“Well can you help me?” Ash asked.
“Do you know how hard it was for me to earn their trust? If I got caught helping you escape, they would never trust me again.” Thorn explained.
“Oh,” Ash said, dropping his head down.
“It just happens to be though; I’ve wanted to escape this place for a long time.” Thorn said.
“Really?” Ash asked.
“I never went or been insane, just like you. I saw them bring you in here; you were knocked out, just like me.” Thorn said.
“Alright then, what’s the plan?” Ash asked quietly.
“I thought you’d never ask,” Thorn said, a smile widening across her face.

“Alright, so what’s the plan?” asked Ash.
“At 10:00 every night they have patrol go around the building, making sure everything is how it’s supposed to be. We can’t leave tonight because they are going to start to test you tomorrow morning. We need to wait for a day that they are giving your body a break,” explained Thorn.
“Will they give me a break though? What if my body doesn’t work right or something and they just decide to kill me right there and then,” said Ash worriedly.
“Don’t worry; they give everyone a break about the third day.” Thorn says.
“I hope you’re right,” says Ash.
Thorn laughs then replies, “I’ve been here for three years, I think I would know how this place runs by now.”
Thorn leaves Ash’s side and walks over to the door. She then turns around to face Ash.
“Ash, if I were you I would get some rest. They are going to make your body feel paralyzed by the end of your tests.” Thorn says with sincere in her voice.
Ash sighs then answers to Thorn, “Alright, thanks Thorn for everything.” ending it with a smile.
“No problem Ash, always good to help out someone who is going through the same things as me,” says Thorn.
Thorn turns around and opens the door; she pops her head out of the room, making sure that no one was coming. She turns around and waves to Ash one last time then disappears into the darkened hallway, closing the door and locking it as she left.
The next morning Ash woke up to bright lights in front of his eyes. He tried to shield them but couldn’t because his arms were strapped down to something, the same with his legs.
“What the hell?” Ash started to mutter until he heard a familiar voice. Dr Fife was in the room with him.
“Oh please Ash, we are only trying to help you with your illness,” says Dr Fife.
“I told you the last time, I don’t have an illness!” screamed Ash.
Dr Fife chuckles under his breath then replies, “Ash we are going to be running some tests on you the next couple of days. We will give your body a break sometime this week.”
As Dr Fife said that Ash thought, Thorn was actually right about the break. He decided that he should really start to trust Thorn and listen to her more often.
After Dr Fife and the rest of the doctors were done testing him for the day they put Ash back into his room. Ash felt like his body was paralyzed, just like Thorn had told him it would. Ash didn’t move for the rest of the night. He waited to see if Thorn would show but she never did. Ash started to talk to himself.
“She doesn’t have to come here every night. Yeah, she just decided it would be safer if she just stayed in her room then come visit him. She’s safe, she isn’t in any trouble. They trust her; they would never want to hurt her would they? Of course they wouldn’t, but what if she had some type of illness that they are testing on me to see if I have it? She could be lying in her room right now dying! I would never be able to escape this place and I’ll die in here!”
Ash started to worry, more than he did when he first woke up in his white room. He wanted to walk back and forth in his room but still didn’t feel like moving. That night Ash fell asleep, hoping that everything was okay with Thorn.
The next morning Ash woke up, being able to move his arms and legs, not feeling them strapped down like they were the other day. He sat up and looked around, he saw no doctors around wondering if he had already gone through the test. Ash heard a faint tap on his door and he instantly said “Come in,” like he was somewhere else and not at Oxford.
The next thing Ash knew, Dr Fife was standing in front of him with a gun pointed at his head.
“Where is it!?” screamed Dr Fife.
Ash was in pure shock but answered, “Where is what?”
“Where is the Bullock Bridge?” Dr Fife said.
“Why does it matter if I know where it is?” Ash replied scared.
“Someone very important is crossing that bridge, and we need to know now!” Dr Fife said.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” cried Ash.
Dr Fife loaded the gun and pointed it closer to Ash’s head.
“Tell me now, or I’ll blow your brains out!” Dr Fife said angrily.
Ash was getting very scared at this point, he started crying. Begging for his life, saying he had no idea where the bridge was. Ash’s answers only made Dr Fife go closer to Ash’s head with the gun. Everything just happened so fast to Ash he couldn’t really tell what was happening at the moment.
Thorn came running into his bedroom with some type of blunt object and hit the back of Dr Fife’s head with it. Dr Fife fell to the ground, blood started to come out where Thorn had hit him. Thorn came over to Ash and asked if everything was okay. Ash couldn’t get any words out at the moment so he just nodded his head with his eyes staring at Dr Fife’s lifeless body. Thorn pulled Ash up and threw his arm over her shoulder.
“We need to get out of here now!” Thorn said.
Thorn and Ash ran down the hallway, Thorn leading the two of them, and Ash following behind her. They took right and left turns and went up and down stairs. Ash was beginning to get tired but Thorn made them keep going. Thorn led them to an air vent opening in the wall and pulled the cover off. She climbed in first making Ash come in afterwards. Ash had to turn around and pull the cover back on so it looked like no one opened it. Thorn began to crawl forward, and then turned a left. Leading them further and further on in the vent they finally saw a vent opening that led to the outside. Before they dropped out of the vent Thorn scouted out for any patrol that would be outside patrolling the gate.
There were none to be found though, making Thorn drop out of the vent. She ran forward to make sure it was safe for sure until she motioned Ash to come. Ash dropped and came running over to her, ducking down not wanting to be seen. Thorn ran into the little room that had the control system for the gate which was closed. She turned and pushed some switches, only opening the gate open a foot. She came running out, grabbing Ash’s hand and leading them out to the forest that had surrounded them.

“Whew” said Thorn, wiping sweat from her forehead.
“No more” panted Ash, as he fell to the ground. “I don’t think I can go on any longer.”
“Oh sure you can” said Thorn, sitting down next to Ash. “If they send a patrol, you would run. If they have dogs looking for us, we are going to find mud, then jump in it. If we have any chances, we are going to take them. Got it?”
“Got it” said Ash, trying to not look at Thorn. “I’m just so tired, and hungry, but most of all I’m thirsty.”
“Well if you didn’t upset Dr Fife so quickly I would’ve been able to grab some supplies,” said Thorn.
“Sorry” said Ash, looking at Thorn.
“It’s alright I guess. You’re the one that’s thirsty, not me” said Thorn.
Ash chuckles, “Yeah I guess so.”
Thorn stands up and stretches and turns toward Ash, “We should get going. Find somewhere to stop before night comes.”
Ash moans and gets up, “Can’t we just stay here?”
“No. We have to find somewhere that has water and food” said Thorn.
“How do you know how to survive so good?” asked Ash.
“From my old life, I used to do…you know what? It’s from a long time ago, it means nothing now, so let’s just forget about it.” said Thorn, as she begun to walk away.
“You can tell me, I won’t judge, trust me. My life was pretty messed up too,” said Ash, as he walked by her side.
“It’s not worth saying or even thinking of, so drop it” said Thorn.
“Fine, whatever you say” said Ash, throwing his arms high towards the sky.
Thorn and Ash walked for a very long time without speaking one word to each other. Ash wanted to hear Thorn’s voice, to make sure that everything was alright between the two of them. He knew that she was all he had, and he was all she had.
Thorn and ash were walking until all of a sudden she stopped, pulling on Ash’s arm to make him stop.
“You hear that?” asked Thorn.
“Hear what?” said Ash.
“It sounds like running water.” said Thorn, as she took off running.
“Thorn, wait up!” yelled Ash, as he took off running after her.
Ash tried to catch up with Thorn, but couldn’t find her anywhere. As he slowed down to a walk he stopped and listened, he could hear birds chirping and crickets singing. He began to walk further and further into the unknown until he heard something. He stopped and listened, he heard water.
He began to run toward the sound. He ran through a group of bushes and almost fell. He was standing on the edge of a steep cliff, looking down at the river below. Something sparked his memory, and he began to worry. He didn’t see Thorn anywhere.
“Thorn!” yelled Ash, but he never heard her. “THORN!” screamed Ash, still nothing.
Ash hated what he was thinking; he hated what might be real. He yelled at himself for not taking better care of Thorn. He looked around, hoping to see Thorn but didn’t. He walked along the edge looking down at the glistening water, until he saw an object on a ledge. He narrowed his eyes trying to get a better look until he realized it was Thorn.

“THORN!” yelled Ash, but still got nothing. “Hold on Thorn! I’m coming down to get you!”
Ash sat down on the ground and rolled over, so that he was lying on his stomach. Easing himself slowly over the edge, he was scared that it was already too late. When Ash got most of his body over the edge, all he could do was feel around for some sort of hole. He couldn’t feel any holes around him, but had felt large roots from trees. He got a good hold on one and slipped off the rest of the way.
Ash eased himself down the side of the cliff. Slowly but surely, he climbed down. Ash was about 10 feet from the ledge until his hands started getting sweaty. He tried to hold on but couldn’t, he fell down the rest of the way and knocked the breath out of himself when he landed. After he caught his breath, he sat up, and looked at Thorn.
“Thorn?” asked Ash. He wanted to hear her voice. He wanted her to yell at him. All he wanted was for her to say something. He put his head to her chest, hearing her heart beat faintly. He could tell that her heart was giving up on her.
“Thorn,” Ash whispered “you are going to hate me for this, but it’s all we got.” He took a deep breath, not knowing where this was going to take them. He did everything that he was taught to do, then did it. Ash was giving Thorn CPR, or the kiss of life, hoping that she would come back to him. Ash did that for about five minutes, he knew she wasn’t going to wake up. He stopped, and emotions started to control him. He cried a tear, that led onto the next one, and then the next one, and then next one, and so forth. He moved away from Thorn, and put his back to the cliff. He brought his knees up to his chest, and folded his arms around him. Ash buried his face into his arms and began to cry.
“Ash?” whispered Thorn.
Ash’s head shot up and stared at Thorn. He could see that her eyes were open, and a single tear went down her face.
“Ash?” said Thorn, getting a little bit louder.
Ash couldn’t speak; all he could do was stare at her. He wanted to go to her, and tell her that he was there. He couldn’t though; he knew it was too good to be true. He thought that he had died somewhere along the way, and he was just mist in the air. Watching Thorn die in front of him, thinking this was some kind of punishment.
“Oh my god, Ash!” scream Thorn. She couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. For they were just pouring out of her eyes.
Ash finally snapped out of it and crawled over to her. “I’m here, I’m here.” Ash said frantically.
“Oh my god Ash. I was running, and I heard water. I heard water Ash!” said Thorn.
“I know you did,” said Ash. He scooped Thorn up and into his arms, cradling her.
“I didn’t know there was a drop-off behind the bushes” said Thorn.
“Don’t worry! You’re alright, and that’s all that matters now.” Ash said.
“We need to go,” said Thorn. As she tried to stand.
“No we don’t. You need to rest; we should stay here until you are fully rested. We are going to need all the energy we have to get out of here,” said Ash, as he looked around.
Thorn looked around and answered, “I guess so.”
“Sit down, you don’t need to be standing” said Ash.
Thorn sighed and walked over to the wall of the cliff, and sat down. Ash got up and walked to her.
“Ash?” asked Thorn.
“What?” said Ash.
“Did you save me?” asked Thorn.
“Well, I don’t know what you would include with saving, but…” said Ash.
“Hey Ash?” asked Thorn.
“What?” said Ash.
“Thank you,” said Thorn.
Ash smiled and looked at Thorn. “You’re welcome,” said Ash.
Thorn smiled back and bit her bottom lip for a while. She got enough courage and leaned in. Kissing Ash on the lips for only a little bit, she pulled away and blushed.
“Thorn?” said Ash, as his smile grew more.
“Yeah?” asked Thorn.
Ash reached over and turned Thorn’s face to look at his, and leaned in. Kissing Thorn longer than she had. He didn’t know what this was going to mean between them, but whatever it was. Ash surprisingly wouldn’t mind it.

After they kissed, it was Thorn who pulled away first. Blushing and looking down at her hands. She took a quick peek at Ash and saw him looking at her already, with a large smile on his face.
“Thorn,” said Ash.
“Yeah?” asked Thorn.
“Did we just…” asked Ash.
“I think we did,” said Thorn.
Ash nods a little, “Wow.”
“Ha-ha, yeah. Wow indeed,” said Thorn.
Ash looks up at the sky and frowns a little. “It’s getting dark; we should try to get some sleep.”
Thorn looks up at the sky with Ash. “I guess we should.”
Ash gets up and stands around a little bit, watching Thorn lay down. He looks around and finds a spot that is far from Thorn and lays down there. Thorn watches him as he walks over to the spot and lay down.
“Well, goodnight,” said Thorn.
“Yeah, goodnight,” answered Ash.
Darkness comes quickly, leaving visibility close to none. The night passes by quickly, having the next day come. Ash and Thorn wake up. Ash walks over to the river and splashes his face with water, trying to wake him up quicker. Thorn yawns and stretches.
“So, what’s the plan?” asks Thorn.
Ash turns and looks at Thorn. “I’m not all that sure.”
“Well, I don’t think we are going to be able to get up that way,” says Thorn, pointing at the cliff behind her.
“Well, it’s that way.” Ash looks at the river, “Or this way.”
Thorn sighs, “I don’t know how to swim, and I’m not really in the mood to drown today.”
“Well then, we are going to have to climb that,” says Ash, looking at the cliff wall.
Thorn nods and stands up. She looks at the cliff wall and rests her hand on it. “Well, it’s going to be hard, but I think we can do it.”
Ash walks over and kicks at it, “I hope you’re right.”
Thorn nods in agreement, “I hope I am too.”
“Well, let’s get started,” said Ash.
“Alright,” said Thorn.
Ash gripped and began to climb his way up, slipping almost at some spots, ten minutes passed, soon twenty minutes passed, leading onto thirty, Ash finally making up and over the edge. Then it was Thorn’s turn. She had a more difficult time getting up, sometimes falling back down to the bottom.
“I can’t DO IT!” yelled Thorn.
“Yes you can! I know you can do it!” yelled Ash back.
Thorn shakes her head in disagreement, “Just leave me here, and go!”
“No! I won’t leave you behind!” said Ash.
Thorn sighs loudly, hoping Ash would hear it, she began to try it again. Ash walks away from the edge and grabs a fallen branch. He walks back to the edge and holds it down, having Thorn grab at it if needed too.
After an hour of hard and tiring labor, Thorn finally gets up and over the edge.
“You should have just left me,” said Thorn.
“And what, leave you behind and try to get out of here alone? I don’t think so,” said Ash.
Thorn smiles a little, “Well it’s good to know that you’re nothing without me.”
“Why is that good?” asked Ash.
“So I know you WILL never leave me,” said Thorn.
After that, no one had anything to say to each other. They just walked and walked, until neither of them could go on any further. Thorn was the first one to sit down, and lean against a tree. Then Ash followed what Thorn had done.
“I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” said Ash.
“Oh come on, it can’t be THAT bad,” said Thorn as she smiled.
“Well I didn’t grow up at a boot camp like you did,” breathed Ash, trying to catch his breath.
Thorn just laughed and laughed at what Ash had said. “Who said I grew up in a boot camp?” asked Thorn.
“Well, no one. The way you can run, jump, and even just walk while still having a steady breath rate, it’s unbelievable,” said Ash, shaking his head in disbelief.
Thorn laughs even more. “It’s called being in good shape, and knowing how to control your heart.”
“Well, if we ever have the chance to, do you think you can teach me some things?” asked Ash, as he looked at Thorn.
Thorn looks back at Ash and answers, “That’s if we ever do get a chance.”

“Well that’s what I meant,” said Ash.
“Well then yeah, I guess I could,” said Thorn as she smiled.
“Alright,” said Ash as he jumped over a hole in the ground.
“Shh, you hear that?” asked Thorn.
“Please don’t tell me you hear running water again,” said Ash as he laughed.
“Oh be quiet! I did hear running water, I just didn’t know it was a river!” said Thorn as she looked angrily at Ash.
“I’m just saying,” said Ash as he held his arms up in the air.
Thorn sighed and said, “I know, but I don’t hear running water, I hear traffic.”
“Traffic, as in cars and a road?” asked Ash.
“Yeah,” said Thorn as she began to walk faster.
“Well hey, wait up,” said Ash as he ran up to Thorn. “You don’t think it could be those guards looking for us?”
“I’m positive,” said Thorn, they power-walked straight, until they saw a little clearing up ahead.
“Come on!” said Thorn as she began to run.
“I know,” said Ash as he ran with her.
Once they ran through the bushes and trees, they were in a ditch, and up the hill of the ditch was a road! They both climbed the hill, both excited to see what the results were of their long walk.
“A road!” yelled Ash, very excitedly he picked up Thorn and hugged her.
“Put me down!” said Thorn.
“Oh, sorry,” said Ash as he put Thorn down.
“Don’t start cheering now, girl-scout. We still need to find us a ride,” said Thorn as she began to walk down the side of the highway.
“Well how are we going to do that?” asked Ash.
Thorn looked at Ash with a “are you kidding” type of look, and Ash just shrugged his shoulders.
“You seriously don’t know how to get a ride?” asked Thorn.
“Never had to get a ride from some total stranger before,” said Ash.
“Well still, you never saw it in the movies?” asked Thorn.
“I don’t really watch movies that much,” said Ash.
Thorn just blew Ash off and kept walking down the side. Every time a car would start to get closer she would put her arm out and then put her thumb up. Ash watched her, and then did what she did the next time a car was getting closer.
“Why aren’t any of them stopping for us?” asked Ash.
“I don’t know Ash. Maybe it’s because we look like we don’t want just a ride, we probably look like we would steal their car from them.” Said Thorn as she put her thumb back up and arm out as another car came approaching.
Ash sighed and said, “but we wouldn’t!”
“They don’t know that!” yelled Thorn as she stopped and looked at Ash.
Just as Thorn and Ash were arguing a car drove past them, but then slowed down and pulled over to the side. Thorn saw the car first, and waved towards the unknown stranger.
“Come on!” said Thorn as she began to run towards the vehicle.
Ash followed behind her closely. Once they got close to the car, Thorn told Ash to stay back and she continued towards the passengers’ window. After a few minutes of talking to the driver, she nodded and the driver took off.
“Why did let them go?” asked Ash as he walked over to Thorn.
“The driver said that only I could get a ride and not you.” said Thorn as she shivered a bit.
Ash didn’t ask any more questions after that, because he was too afraid to hear what the answers were. Minutes later, another car pulled up along the side of the road and Thorn, once again, walked up to the passengers’ window. After minutes have passed with Thorn talking to the driver, she smiled and waved Ash to come over.
Once Ash went over to where Thorn was, she said, “She’ll give us a ride, so hop in.”
Ash hopped in the car and Thorn slid in after him.
“Thank you once again,” said Thorn as she looked at the driver.
“It’s not a problem my dear. It’s always nice to help out a fellow citizen,” said the driver, who turned around in her seat and announced her name, “my name, is Lucy Coppers.”

“Well Lucy, I’m Thorn and he’s Ash.” said Thorn who smiled at the driver.
Ash looked at Thorn as if she was crazy. He quietly whispered to her, “what are you doing!?”
Thorn looked at Ash, “What?”
“You just gave some random person our names. What if she’s working for them?” asked Ash.
“Look at her Ash, she doesn’t really seem like the type.” said Thorn as she pointed to Lucy who was too busy singing with the radio, and being off-key. Thorn frowned at the noise.
“Well, alright. I believe you.” Said Ash as he sat back against the seat and listened to the song.
“Good,” said Thorn as she smiled and leaned back against the seat.
“So Lucy, where you heading?” asked Ash as he looked at Lucy.
“I’m going to an old friend’s house in Massachusetts.” Said Lucy as she looked in the rearview mirror.
“Massachusetts?” asked Ash as he looked at Thorn, then back at Lucy. “I never been to Massachusetts.”
“Well, there is a first for everything right?” said Lucy as she looked back at the road.
“Yeah, I guess.” said Ash as he looked out the window.
Hours later, Ash had woken up to a girl screaming, not just any girl, but Lucy.
“Wha..?” Ash had began to ask, as he then felt a hard pressure against him, and then the loud noise of metal scratching against each other.
Ash had blacked out, and Thorn, who was up already before Ash, had been smashed into as well. The next thing that happened was that the car had begun to roll. Not just once, but twice, and then a third time, and then fourth. Lucy was hurt badly, and Thorn didn’t know if she was alive or not. A large cut to the forehead, and shards of glass stuck in her arm, Thorn was still awake and alive.
She looked over at Ash, and reached out to him. She needed to get him and her out of the situation, very quick, before anyone came to the scene. Not like they were doing anything wrong, but she just didn’t like the feeling of having to be taken away by men.
“Ash…Ash, come on Ash, wake up.” Thorn said quietly as she gently shook Ash. He didn’t wake up though. “Ash…please…please wake up.” She said as tears began to fall. It hurt her to move, but she had to push the pain aside, for not just her, but for Ash as well.
Thorn couldn’t get Ash to wake, and she was becoming light-headed and dizzy from the blood loss. She had to get out of her spot and push or pull Ash out of the car. So, she climbed through the busted out window beside her, and felt grass and dirt under her hands.
The car was upside down. She stood up, using the car to put her weight on; she stumbled her way over to Ash’s side of the car. She then got down onto the ground again, and began trying to pull Ash out through the window. He was cut up pretty badly, but she knew he would survive. Thorn had to use all of her strength to pull Ash out of the destroyed car, and she was almost ready to pass out herself. She couldn’t stop though, and so she dragged Ash away from the car. Having to stop many times to catch her own breath, she continued on.
After about 15 minutes of dragging Ash away from the crash, Thorn couldn’t see the car anymore. She climbed under a barbed wire fence, which led to a crop of corn, and pulled Ash under. She dragged Ash a couple of feet into the crop so that no one could see them from the road. Out of breath, tired, and in pain, Thorn sat down onto the ground, and put her head between her knees. Her eyes closed, she began to feel very drowsy, and then fell backwards, hitting the ground, Thorn didn’t care where she was. She couldn’t keep herself up anymore, and so she let herself fall asleep, hoping that nothing would go wrong as she rested.



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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 4 comments.


on Jun. 7 2012 at 7:13 pm
AlexEvansTM SILVER, Lansing, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Pessimism comes from our passion, optimism comes from our will.

Right when I started reading this book, I noticed you used words like there and that, instead of using those words, describe it!

on Mar. 14 2011 at 7:27 pm
JustAnotherOwl SILVER, Unknown, New York
6 articles 0 photos 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
"See, we don't really care who you are;
Everyone is capable of looking up and wishing on a star.
So catch it, so contagious, this day-dreamer's disease,
And hope can be your sword, slaying darkness with belief."

"Sanctuary"- Paradise Fears

This was interesting. It's a good idea, though I don't usually read stories so...dark, I guess.

The wording was very awkward at some parts and I agree, just polish it some and you could have a great story!


Megan.J.B said...
on Feb. 23 2011 at 9:47 pm
Megan.J.B, Sault Ste Marie, Other
0 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Here's the real truth. There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders. You, me? We're exceptional."
- Green Goblin. :)

I liked the idea of the story because it was really morbid and there was a great point of view change in there too. That is hard to master and I think you did it well here.

One thing that I didn't like is that at times you wording was just extremeley awkward and you used words in an incorrect context. For me, that is a HUGE pet peeve. I would say even if you went through and fixed wording. Usually I don't make too many comments about wording but in this case their are some really messy examples of this.

All in all it was a clever and witty piece for a teen. You thought out the ideas and there were no unreasonable events. The execution though was sloppy at times. Edit it up and make it neater and you've got a great story here. :)


on Feb. 3 2011 at 9:52 am
literaryaddict PLATINUM, Albuquerque, New Mexico
23 articles 3 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We're almost there and no where near it. All that matters is that we're going." Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
"The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound." Lady Bracknell, The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde

I hope you'll add more! I really liked it and want to know how it continues!