Obsessions | Teen Ink


January 9, 2018
By SerenaN BRONZE, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
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SerenaN BRONZE, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
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I saw him standing across the room. Danny Mueller, the bane of my existence. He was the reason I was trapped and he was why my life went to hell. I was actually in my own personal hell, the white walls always seemed to cave in and suffocate me.
I saw his lip curl up into a familiar smirk.
“You’re not real, you’re dead.” I repeated those words over and over as I squeezed my eyes shut. This was a common reaction when he began to mock me. There was nothing else that I could possibly do considering he never went away. He was always in the background haunting me.
I opened my eyes to see he was gone but I could still hear his laugh echo through the room as if we were on a mountain side and able to yell across the chasm. I felt shivers crawl over my skin at the sounds as I was suddenly thrust into panic.
I’d felt true panic only once before Danny died and ever since it had become a regular occurance. Whether it was because of his death or the circumstances surrounding his death remained a mystery to me, but he was always there.
The panic was always there and ready to creep in when I was least expecting.
My first experience with this panic had been the night Danny died, ironically enough. I could remember that night had been filled with not just panic but also lots of anger. We had been with a rather large group of teenagers so naturally lots of testosterone and estrogen was floating around and causing us to surely be more irritable, but it had felt a bit different.
I remember we had just watched a scary movie as well, the name long lost from my mind. “That was so creepy!” Anya said as she lazily sat up from her place on the floor to put her bowl of popcorn down. I had never really been a fan of scary movies, but if Anya said it was creepy or scary we all knew that it was the truth.
The natural redhead had an affinity for the horror genre and rightfully so, she looked to be from a fairytale herself. With her green eyes and long naturally red curly hair she could’ve been an Irish sprite.
Danny scoffed at her comment from my right. I had begun to lay on him during the film considering I was squished between him and Diana. To be honest I didn’t like Diana all that much, but she had known Danny since kindergarten and their friendship was important to Danny. At least that’s what she told me.
“What, did you not like it?” I asked as I sat up and began to stretch out a bit. I was stiff from laying on him awkwardly for two hours. I just could not stand the looks Diana kept throwing towards him that he was oblivious to. “It’s not like you actually knew what happened considering you were on your phone.”
Did I sound upset? Most likely. Maybe it was because Diana had her phone out too.
Diana must’ve known I was hinting to him texting her while I was trying to cuddle with him, she had the gull to roll her eyes. Or maybe I was just the problem? I could’ve easily been overreacting.
“I think we should play a game.” I raised one brow to Anya as she stood and blocked the end credits with her body. “Something to ease the tension a bit.”
I grinned a little as I joined her. “Yeah, that sounds like fun. I’ve got some old games in the closet-”
Anya shook her head with a grin her face. “Nope, I already have the perfect game.” She reached around Jack who had fallen asleep next to the couch. She gave him a gentle nudge off of her bag before pulling out a board.
“A ouija board?” Diana practically shrieked as Anya placed the board on the table, a few strands of hair fell from her perfectly neat ponytail as she stood up. Her shriek was followed by a groan from Danny.
The sound woke Jack up, his hair was slightly disheveled as he looked at the coffee table. “Why the hell are you screaming? The board itself won’t kill you, just the demons that come out of it.” His comment earn a chuckle from Anya and I while Diana began to pout.
“I don’t think we should play this-”
Danny nodded. “Yeah, Ouija boards are so lame and outdated. Nothings gonna happen, it’s just gonna be one of us moving the wand around to make the others scream like little girls.”
“Says the guy who was flinching throughout the entire movie.” I mumbled the words, barely getting them fully out before Danny stood up. His dark eyes were blazing as if he were actually pissed. “What’s wrong with you now?”
Anya began to move in front of me a bit as the tension began to rise again, she always had a way to calm us down. “Yeah, I’ve gotta agree with Raven, Buddy. You’ve been pissy all night and it’s getting old. Calm down and sit your butt down so we can play a friendly game.”
“My version of friendly.”
With Diana and Danny both calm we sat down and Jack moved up to the table, wrapping his blanket around his body like a cacoon. “If I had known tonight was going to be a show, I would've brought my own popcorn. Your popcorn tastes like crap.”
“Sorry.” I mumbled as Anya began to pull out the eyepiece. “We haven’t gone shopping recently, I’ll let Mom know that you specifically think it’s crap.”
“Nope, it was definitely crap.”
I rolled my eyes at Anya, she set the piece on the table. “Now, who do we want to contact? Got anyone in mind, Rave?”
I shook my head as I placed my head in my hands. “I’m just along for the ride.”
“What about your dad?” I frowned, meeting Danny’s eyes. Things went silent as if the others were afraid to even breath. “I mean, it’s recent and he lived here. We’re more likely to talk to him, right?”
I gave a small nod, looking to the board as I felt my stomach tighten. My father had always told me to stay away from this kind of stuff, our family descended from the salem witches. While I don’t believe that, I have a hard time that his ghost would be okay with me waking him up with this crap.
He’d never forgive me, and all I could think about was something going wrong now. Not to mention we had exactly five people here. One for each point of the pentagram. The weird voodoo sent shivers down my spine and one thought through my mind.
I’m gonna die.
We’re all gonna die tonight.
I’m the reason we are all going to die.
We each placed one hand on the board, Anya was going to start this hopefully. She did as she asked me his name. I quickly spat out the name, trying not to let my voice waver. I desperately wanted them to think I was fine.
She nodded. “Are you with us now?”
We waited in suspense but nothing happened. She asked once more, this time addressing him by his name. This time the piece began to nudge slowly in the opposite direction of yes. I stiffened, the idea of some other ghost in my house was scary as well.
“Oh, that’s not good.”
Anya was quick to respond to Danny. Why was he so ADHD? Why did I fall for someone so compulsive? “Shut up, who is with us then if you’re not Raven’s father?”
The piece began to spell out a name. D-A-N-I-E-L.
I frowned, suddenly I was pissed. I shot up from my spot and glared daggers to my boyfriend across the circle. “Really? Are you really so childish?” I asked as he stood to meet my level.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Princess.”
“Get out of my house!”
Once again the tension rose, but Danny didn’t seem phased like the sociopath he has always been. He just raised one brow. “What? Don’t want me to stay so we can cuddle all night like you keep begging me to do? Don’t want to hang out like a ‘normal couple’?” I heard a infuriating giggle from Diana, she must be loving this.
“No, because we’re no longer a couple.”
“Excuse me?”
I shook my head as he placed one hand behind his ear as if we were miles away. “You heard me loud and clear. You’ve been in a mood for weeks now, you know what I’m still going through with my dad and yet you brought him up anyway to get a reaction out of me. And now you spell out your own name on the board because you knew it’d piss me off. I’m done, can you spell that?”
“Good riddance.” He mumbled as stormed out towards the door that lead to the street. He paused, looking back. For a second I thought he would apologize. “You coming, Diana?”
Of course I was wrong yet again.
She scurried away after him like a little puppy, slamming the door after him. I sat back down and looked to the board, the eyepiece was still on the L of ‘Daniel’. Anya sighed. “Well, that was fun. Just a shame that we didn’t close the circle first.”
I saw Jack nod out of the corner of my in a silent agreement. “It’s like every other dumb group of teenagers that they make a Ouija board movie out of, they most likely forgot to close the circle.”
I felt the panic begin to set in once more, looking out at the door where Danny and Diana had left. They were either the safest or in the most danger and since I was staying here I was in the same position. ‘Daniel’ would've followed Danny or stayed here if he was real that is. I shook my head. “No, Danny was just screwing with us. I think I’m gonna call it a night though, do you guys have rides home or were you planning to stay the night?”
I wanted Anya to stay with me, but when they both shook their heads I knew I was going to be alone tonight. They packed up their things and everything after that happening in a blur.
I didn’t move from my spot on the floor for hours, so many emotions kept me tied to the ground. The panic had me rocking, the anger had my face flushed and the sadness of the breakup had tears streaming down my face.
My heart felt like it was about to burst from my chest and I couldn’t breath. I was all alone in my house tonight all I could think about was the dread of dying slowly. Going upstairs in the darkness, I was already shrouded in the dim light of the black T.V.
I was in a similar position of panic now. The fetal position is supposed to protect you in times like this, when you can’t fight back. Danny was just a ghost now. I wonder, did the crash hurt after he left my house?
Would he have survived if I had been a bit more patient?
I would never know, so instead I blamed myself. That’s what my physiatrist tells me anyway. She also told me that I should be kept under careful surveillance.
That’s why the white walls suffocated me everyday. I couldn't see the sun everyday. I was trapped in my own personal hell and Daniel knew it. He visited me everyday. I could see blood blend in with his red hair, the only reason I could tell was because the dye was beginning to fade by his roots.
I jumped right off my bed when I felt his breath on my neck. I let out a scream as I turned to look at him.
What’s wrong, Rave? Feeling a little insane?
I shook my head, I knew that he wasn’t real. His lips didn’t even move when he spoke and that meant it could only be in my head.
But what if it is real? I mean, I have a lot to blame you for.
I began to cry as his words continued to echo through me. A scream tore from my throat, temporarily blocking him from my mind. I continued to scream as I knelt on the ground, covering my ears and shutting my eyes.
I wanted to go back to sleep, I wanted my nightmare to be over.
I couldn’t hear anything else, but I felt a hand on my shoulder. I shook it off as I glanced over my shoulder. All I saw was my door was open.
“Hey, it’s time for your medication-”
I pushed past my warden and bolted towards the door. I was stopped by a second one. He was much bigger than me, towering over my small frame. His bulky arm were stiff around me as he completely immobilized me. “I guess we’re going with the hard way again.”
I screamed when I saw Danny smirking behind the first man. I began to buck, but it was useless against the men. This was their job, to keep me captive next to him for the rest of my life.
They moved to the bed and Danny swiftly moved away as he watched in pure excitement. The first man began to strap my feet down as the second placed my medication on the side table. “We’re gonna need something else, she keeps getting out every night.”
I shook my head and screamed once more. “Let me go, don’t leave me in here with him!”
The first guy scoffed. “And tell her doctor she needs a higher dosage.”
Tears began to pour from my eyes, they didn’t care. They were just going to silence me and force me to panic in my own little bubble, my personal cube.
Pills were forced down my throat, I had to take them dry since it was dangerous to give my water while I was strapped down. Then I felt a small prick in my neck, it spread out to burn the rest of my body as I became weighted down.
“Relax, you’re safe now.”

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