Facebook Activity



Teen Ink on Twitter

Report abuse Submit my work Share/bookmark Email Print Home

Pass It On

Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next »

Brandon

There’s something wrong with Mom. Just like with Lilith before she died. It’s the DVD, I know it.
When I woke up this morning, Mom was gone. There was no note or anything.
I poured myself some cereal and stared into it. An hour later Mom came home.
Now I’m staring at the DVD in my hands. I have to get rid of it. It has to be destroyed.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Mom snaps, coming in. Her face pales when she sees the disc in my hands.
“I have to get rid of it,” I tell her. “It’s what Lilith would want.”
“Lilith was a stupid girl,” Mom snaps, snatching the DVD out of my hands.
I feel tears stinging my eyes. “Lilith was not stupid! You’re the stupid one!”
I run out of the room and down the hall to my room. I slam the door behind me and flop on my bed.

That night, I’m woken up by a firm shaking. I open my eyes sleepily. “Mom? What’s going on?”
“Come with me,” she orders. When I don't do anything, she grabs my wrist and drags me out of my bed.
“Ow!” I protest. “Mom! Stop it!”
She doesn’t. Instead, she drags me all the way to the living room and sits me on the couch.
Then she hits “play” on the machine. She keeps my head facing forward as a gruesome movie starts playing.
When the movie is over, I can feel something or someone worming their way into my mind.
It’s Rachel, the girl Lilith wrote about. It’s her.
I try to fight back, and Rachel lashes out, snapping something in my mind. My vision goes white with agony.
And then I pass out.

Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next »


Join the Discussion

This book has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Kestrel135This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 21 at 12:33 am
Hello! I saw your forum and figured I ought to take a look. You have a great story built into this; there's tension, suspense, and enough eerie action to make it a good thriller. That said, I don't think I every felt scared or even mildly disturbed while reading this, and the reason for that was likely a lack of detail. Like SpeakerofWolves had said, I think you can bring this story to life by adding more details. First off, the scene in the attic. Why are they there? Are they cleaning? They sa... (more »)
 
SpeakerofWolvesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 18 at 9:48 pm
@bo_olsen Hello bo_olsen! I had read your forum and I am more than happy to help you with your story. First of all, I like the idea that you are trying to make. Second, the plot line is ok which I highly recommend that you add some more events or places. Third, when the movie started, I would like to suggest to be descriptive as you can, or to simply say that at the beginning of the movie he immediately passed out by fear, whatever you choose. Fourth, when the ghost comes into the scenes, I woul... (more »)
 

Launch Teen Ink Chat
Site Feedback