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Listen

Once in a house, on a hill, a mile out of town was a humble businessman and his wife, Maria, and two children, Rory and Maggie. Almost everyone loved this cute little family. They were envied by many. But that was a month ago. Now the businessman lived alone, and it was no accident.


“Yes. Yes, this place would suit a single man with no kids.” David sighed, “Someone like me. With no wife, no kids, and no more room for heartbreak.” Indeed, David Nagle-Stuhr was a man who spent his days alone with no one to support but himself, but he never wanted it that way.
“Would you like to talk about it, Sir?” the real estate lady, Moira, asked, concerned for this poor man who seemed to always be out there, as if traumatized.
“No, it’s fine. Give it a few years and it might blow over.”
“By the sounds of it, Sir, I highly recommend that you tell someone before you do something you’ll regret.” She sat him down on the stairwell and set herself beside him.
“Okay, but I’m only going to say it once, so listen.”

It was an ordinary Tuesday night. David was at work as Maria put Rory and Maggie to bed. Their red shiba, Foxy, laying at the foot of Rory’s bed sound asleep. Then, right before Maggie was asleep, the phone rang from the living room.
“Alright, Mags, go to sleep. I’ll see you in the Their red shiba, Foxy, laying at the foot of Rory’s bed sound asleep. Then, right before Maggie was asleep, the phone rang from the living room.
“Alright, Mags, go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” She turned to leave when Maggie sat up and caught her retreating hand.
“Don’t answer it, Mommy. Please?” Maria could have listened, should have listened, but didn’t think anything of it at the time. So she shushed her daughter and went to answer the phone.
“Hello?”
“Hello.” A deep, gruff voice said. It sounded as if someone was speaking through one of those voice changers. “How do you like your children: sliced…or diced?” The girls screamed from the bedroom and Foxy yelped. Maria dropped the phone and ran in there in time to find her little twin, 7 year old girls ripped apart like you would do with an old raggedy shirt. The dog just lay motionless with a stab wound; dead. The killer turned to face her, slowly, intimidatingly.
“Too late. The decision has been made for you.” Then Maria’s face grew white and horrified as she was stabbed, and entered the endless sleep; never to return.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next »


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This book has 4 comments. Post your own!

None0 said...
Sept. 19, 2013 at 7:31 pm:
When I read this, I kept getting the feeling that this was just an outline. I mean, some parts are very well developed, like the dialogue, but other parts I feel need some expanding. Go further in-depth on the description. It might also be wise to give the reader a better sense of the time, or use some transitional sentences whenever a new scene starts so the reader doesn't get confused (I got used to it by the second chapter, but the first one confused me a little). Other than that, maybe u... (more »)
 
EbonyKnight replied...
Sept. 20, 2013 at 8:41 am :
Thanx 4 the feedback, and yes this is the outline, I'm still working on chapters to come. I'll b sure to fix some of that stuff that you caught. thanx again.
 
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JoyMason said...
Sept. 16, 2013 at 12:00 am:
This is amazing, you r really good, this is actually kinda freaky how the killer tore up the kids like old shirts, don't let it end there, tell us who did it!
 
EbonyKnight replied...
Sept. 16, 2013 at 7:55 am :
Thanx, i'm really enjoying writing this, even i don't know who did it, tho i have an idea. thanx again, yur pretty good 2, btw.
 
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