Poor Judgement And Overall Stupidity

March 2, 2013
By MKate, NA, Ohio
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MKate, NA, Ohio
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All that surrounded me was ignorance.. well maybe because I was at an out of control High School party with not a single sober person in sight.
Now, don't start judging me yet, I wasn't some dumb bimbo who partied every night and spent her days on her knees.
My name is Pandora, your typical 16 year old outcast. You know, long, black hair, dark makeup, clothes that screamed, "I'm my own person, yet I look exactly like all my friends."
So what was I doing at a party with wasted, topless cheerleaders? Well, let's start from the beginning. That being yesterday, my first day at Westlake.
---
The birds were singing, the sun was shining.. and I wanted nothing more than to destroy them both. After pounding the snooze button on the world's most annoying alarm clock three times, I finally decided that I should go take a shower and prepare for Hell. Hell, of course, meaning high school.. but not just any high school, Westlake. I wouldn't have been to happy about transferring into a preppy, rich school period, but the fact that I was starting the last quarter of my Senior year, yeah, that was the cherry on top of a horrible time.
I waddled into the bathroom, tripping over at least five moving boxes. Finally I arrived and I could do nothing more than lean over, pressing my forehead into the sink as I counted to ten.
1... waking up early, 2... new school, 3... new teachers, 4... too late for any sports, 5... name brand clothing, 6... jocks, 7... teens with boating licenses, 8... pink, 9... awkward stares, 10... giggling.
After my quick reminder of everything I was going to hate about today, I looked into the mirror and couldn't help but smile.
I don't know why girls are expected to hate themselves. I would never go around saying I was hot, but I was at least an eight. Naturally black hair, visible cheek bones, big, blue eyes. I was thin but ain't nothing hiding that big booty! Well, I was always told that was a good thing anyway, and I sure hoped it was considering my boobs were a size "nonexistence". My hair was perfectly parted, my bands were in a big swoop. I had my eyebrow and tongue pierced, my ears pierced a total of 8 times and I was hiding a Iron Maiden tattoo on my back.
I took a deep breath, dropped my clothes and hopped in the shower. I washed my hair until my hands were sore, I always used a bottle of shampoo and conditioner every other day, but the money was worth my locks. I applied some clean and clear, shaved everywhere but my legs (because come on girls, you know you would rather die) and with a quick washing of my body I was done.
I always liked to just sit in the shower and think about life, every aspect of it. Sometimes I would have these wonderful ideas in the shower about how I could solve problems, or what would be a cool way to do my hair, but as soon as I stepped out into the cold, unforgiving world, I was no longer intelligent. So I always tried to stay in my little world for as long as I could.
But I was on a time limit, I opened the curtain, grabbed my towel and began to dry off. Wrapping the towel around my body I ran to my room.
I don't know how my brother did it, but he had already managed to make a friend and have him sleep over, and I was NOT about to let a 13 year old pervert see me prance around in nothing but a towel.
I was out of luck, however, as soon as I slammed my bedroom door shut I saw the little weirdo playing in my underwear drawer.
"TODD!" I screamed like a little girl seeing a spider, "get your friend out of my room!"
It felt like eternity, but I'm sure it was only a few seconds before my little brother came marching into the room and he actually looked more disgusting than I was. I was proud.. that is until he spoke.
"Seriously, Cam?" he sounded like our mother scolding us for eating junk before dinner, "Why? Why of all people did you choose her? My SISTER?! NO, I thought you were better than this."
I was standing there, almost making duck face, supporting every word he said.
"She is... disgusting!"
My jaw dropped, that little turd! He didn't want his friend in my drawers because he was being a protective little brother, he actually thought I wasn't good enough for a 13 year old with braces and horrible acne.
"Get out, both of you, just get out before I tape your heads together." I said that with zero emotion, I was just done, completely done with the situation and I just wanted to get ready.
As soon as they left I locked the door and set a chair under the doorknob. I doubt that actually worked other than on TV, but it was the thought that counted.
I slid into some underwear and sat down at my desk. I pulled open my drawers looking for what I wanted to cake on my face for they day. I settled on my face makeup, some pink blush, white, silver and black eyeshadow, mascara and some liquid eyeliner.
Watching makeup being put on a girl and watching her transform always seemed like art to me, it didn't matter if it was on myself or on a beauty guru, I just loved watching it. I applied my concealer, foundation and powder. I brushed on my blush and started to work on my eyes. I packed on a dark smokey eye, then applied my eyeliner with a wing. With a quick layer of mascara I was done, it was so simple yet so complex.
It took a little while to remember where I had put my blow dryer, but I soon found it in a box at the end of my bed. When I went to pick it up I realized it was placed on a picture of my (ex) boyfriend and I.
We were so happy, it's sad how your parents deciding to move could destory your entire life, even if you know it's stuff that will never actually last outside of high school, it's still hard.
I just stood there looking at that picture forever, and finally looked up with a sigh. My clock read 6:30, I didn't have time to remember my old life, I had to start my new one.
I dried my hair just enough that you couldn't tell it was wet, threw on some fishnets, shorts and a hoodie. Then, as quickly as I could I ran downstairs, got a plate out of the cabinet and began to make breakfast.
It was simple, just some toast.
Just like I had done several times before, I took the toast and banged it on my plate to create crumbs. I looked around to make sure my parents were no where in sight, then I buried my breakfast at the bottom of the garbage and left my plate on the counter.
I may have looked like a spoiled teen who didn't know how to clean to my mother, but at least I looked like a spoiled teen who ate.
I don't know what it was, it was like I felt perfect. I was never one who thought I was fat, I never even felt depressed.. it just felt good not to eat, like I was in control and I was just this perfect, light girl that people accepted.
7:00 ... time for a horrible day.

"I'm so sorry." I forced out between deep, uncontrollable breaths.
"You're late," a very disturbing looking woman stated without even turning from the board, "this is first period and I don't care. You can take a seat in the back, ask one of these mindless children to share a book with you and be quiet."
It wasn't exactly my fault no one decided to tell me this school started twenty minutes before my old one, or the fact that I currently lived TEN BLOCKS away.
I simply rolled my eyes, did my typical extreme, silent mocking of anyone who made me mad or uncomfortable and made my way to the back of the classroom.
Perhaps I was taking her 'seat in the back' comment too serious, but I was also appreciating it. Each person I passed was worse than the last. Cheerleader, goth, jock.. obvious pervert, and then I finally found the perfect place to sit.
Second row to the left, very back desk with no one on either side. I wouldn't have anyone to share a book with, but at least I wouldn't have to deal with any of these people, I mean, if a teacher actually had the balls to call them mindless children in front of a new student they must be pretty horrible.
Just as I thought I had avoided several annoying situations, he came in.
"I know, I'm late and stupid." those words came from his lips in the perfect tone.
He made his way to the back of the classroom. His jeans had perfect tears in the knees, he had perfect blonde hair that brushed the top of his eyes and those were a gorgeous, bright green. On top of everything, he was wearing a Guns N' Roses shirt (when girls wear them, it is typically for attention, but when a guy does he is the real deal and should be praised for his perfect taste in music).
The only bad thing about all of this was while I was realizing how perfect this boy was, I failed to realize he was making his way over to where I was sitting.
He took the seat to my left and almost threw his backpack at me, either I was a true reject he thought he was too good for or he didn't notice my sitting there.
My thoughts were interrupted when that horrific creature barking incorrect math equations turned around grumbling.
"What is your name?" she asked me with an ugly tone to match her awful blue eye shadow.
"Pandora Tatcher." I said back in my most rude tone.
"I told you to share a book with someone, I'm not going to go out of my way to write everything on the board for you, Alec, lend her a hand."
Then she turned her rolls of fat back to the board and continue her, yet again, very wrong teachings.
I felt a desk slam into mine, "Hi, I'm Alec if you couldn't already tell."
I tried not to make eye contact, I simply smiled and pretended to be somewhere else.
Ten minutes passed before he finally tried to engage in conversation.
"You know," his voice made my stomach flip, "I'm not really use to girls ignoring me."
"I'm not ignoring you, I'm trying to pay attention to the lesson." I knew I spoke too quickly, I knew I sounded like an idiot.
"No, I can tell you're not. Just from looking at you I see you're extremely intelligent, and from your body lesson you actually know that everything she is saying is crap." From the corner of my eye I could see he shot a smile that could blind anyone.
"I'm not really big on talking at school, I like to try my hardest to pay attention whether it be for the work or out of respect."
Suddenly I felt his warmth rub against the side of my hand and I visibly jumped.
"No, I can tell you're the shy type. You like to look different, you like to act different. You think it gives you an edge on people, you think it makes you seem more interesting, which it does, but when it gives you the attention you want you can't take it, your lack of social skills gets in the way."
"Harsh." I spit out with a nasty look as I finally turned to look at him. He was even more perfect up close.
"Harsh, but the truth. Don't get me wrong, I like the hard to get type."
Before I could think of a clever reply, the bell rang. He was gone before I even had a chance to stand up.

Lunch time was never something I actually looked forward to. Yes, I had friends at my old school, and yes, I had an extremely adorable boyfriend who followed me around like a puppy, but lunch was just so awkward. It didn't matter who you were, or who your friends were, everyone was in there judging you.
It sounds weird, but it's the truth. The girls in band tees stare at the cheerleaders, the cheerleaders stare at the jocks. Some were wishing they were the other person, some were wishing they were WITH the other person.
You were split into these groups that weren't allowed to interact with each other, and God forbid you ever sit at someone else's table.
But for me, it was even more horrifying. I didn't like eating in general, but eating in a room full of judgmental eyes-- no thank you.
I found the smallest amount of food a could, which happened to be a fruit cup, then made my way out of the cafeteria.
But of course, something got in my way. It was a cocky blonde with a good taste in music.
"Ah, so we meet again." he flashed me another one of those amazing smiles.
"Yeah, I guess we do." I tried my hardest to keep eye contact, I really did, but it seemed like it was against the law for me to be looking at someone this perfect when I was... well, me.
Like I said, I didn't think I was ugly, I was actually pretty attractive, but it just didn't feel right.
"Ditching the forced social interaction I see, you just keep proving my theory."
I stood there awkwardly because I truly couldn't decide if he was trying to be funny or if he was actually trying to insult me.
But before I could ask which one, he was holding my hand and dragging me out of there. Well, it wasn't really dragging, my feet were moving but it was against my will. It was as if I had left my body and was being forced to watch the whole thing.
---
We arrived in a staff bathroom. Trust me, I had protested going in there, I wasn't one for food, but I was wanting this fruit cup and he was ruining my appetite.
"Trust me." Alec laughed as if he could tell I was against it.
As the door opened I must admit I was impressed. It was perfectly clean, it actually had art on the walls, some makeup (which I hope no one was dumb enough to use) and three chairs. It still seemed like more of a place to have random sex than eat, however.
"They never use it, so we claimed it as our own." he said while plopping down into one of the chairs. They looked decently expensive, too expensive to be in a bathroom.
I took a deep breath, again this looked more like a place to have sex than eat, then sat down in the chair across from him.
"Why are you so interested in me?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?" His face was serious, but his words were playful.
"You said that you're not used to girls not wanting you, you intentionally touched my hand, you won't leave me alone and now I am sitting in a bathroom with you."
"You just seem interesting, I don't know what it is about you. You just seem like your life is all over the place, you have a certain vibe that I'm really digging."
I couldn't help but laugh at that, he was digging my vibe? I didn't really think this boy was horrible, but he did seem annoying... now he seemed okay. He seemed like someone I could actually get along with.
He spent all of lunch period talking about our favorite metal bands, Skid row, Megadeth, Guns N' Roses.
When the bell rang I was actually upset, I could barely even hear it over our laughing. With a sigh, I stood up to leave when he grabbed my arm.
"Come on, stay." his eyes were pleading, and he gave a sideways smile to try to distract from how desperate he looked.
"I can't, first day, I really would rather not spend it in detention."
"Well actually you would get the detention on your second day, if you don't show up to class they can't punish you until tomorrow. Not that they will even notice you're gone, anyway."
I tried to think about it all, you know, to see if this boy I had only just met was worth it but he didn't even give me a chance.
Before I knew it he was holding my hand and walking me out of the school building while I was floating above my body, watching it all happen.
I can't pretend I didn't like it, because I did, I loved it. I loved the fact that I was taking a chance, and I could feel that this was going to be an amazing school year if I had this boy to force me into these situations.

"How was your first day, honey?" my mother asked with a smile.
"It was actually.. really good." I knew she was going to ask for the gossip considering I was grinning ear to ear, "So, I was late.. like, REALLY late. And this super tacky teacher who looked like she ate her husband and an entire grade school was so rude to me, but then this super gorgeous guy came in and we were talking and he-" then I realized I was babbling and was totally about to spill the beans about ditching school and hanging out in a bathroom that was designed for sex and getting high, "he is just really cool."
"Ohhhh." boys was the one topic my mother and I could actually talk about.
"I think I'm in looooooove." I threw my head back with a sigh, then came back to face her with some dramatic facials.
"Just be careful, remember the sex talk and don't let him rip your heart out.
My mother may have been a cheerleader in high school, and she currently would rather listen to Call Me Maybe than... anything, but some times she was really cool. It was as if she didn't care, but if you needed her she was there. And even with that she would only comfort you, or give you advice if you asked her to.



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