Facebook Activity

Teen Ink on Twitter

Report abuse Submit my work Share/bookmark Email Print Home

The Perfect Soldier

Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 23 Next »


Verosha is one of the most beautiful countries on Splice. With extravagant palm trees and rich, smooth sand and the illuminating blue glow of ocean waves crashing against the shore. With magnificent vivid colors of the hundreds of flower species that grow all over the island; with foamy waterfalls and rapid rivers winding throughout the island. It’s known as one of the most peaceful, relaxing, and tranquil places on Splice.

The population is miniscule, only about twenty-thousand people. Verosha was mostly forestation, the only large city was the capital which inhabited the majority of the Island. Matt was one of the popular students at Verosha Senior High school. He was a talented surfer and captain of the school Veerball team. His best friend Bryton Carmichael was the goalkeeper of the Veerball team. Bryton was an only child with traveling business men parents who were often out of town or out of the country, leaving Bryton to live alone for most of the time. Bryton was dating one of the most beautiful teenage girls on Verosha, Amy Pierce. She was very short and had long brunette hair, beautiful brown eyes and a great smile.
Matt, Bryton, and Amy were three best friends since they were very little kids. Matt didn’t have a girlfriend; he was very quiet and shy. He didn’t like people very much but constantly got attention that he didn’t enjoy. Bryton on the other hand loved the attention he got; he loved being the center of attention. Amy was the school’s head cheerleader and received a lot of attention as well. Although she was like Matt, didn’t enjoy the attention, she didn’t have guys flirting with her because Bryton was extremely strong and loved to fight which kept guys away from her. Bryton had a tendency to be highly over protective.

It was the last day of school and Matt, Bryton, Amy, and Matt’s older cousin Emily were going to the beach to celebrate Emily’s graduation and the first day of summer vacation. As the last bell of the school year rang hundreds of students poured from the doors of the school yelling in excitement for their freedom. Matt, Emily, Bryton and Amy all got into Emily’s car and drove to the beach about thirty minutes away. Bryton was extremely excited and sprinted straight to the water where he tripped and fell on his face.

“He’s special.” Amy said with a laugh after watching Bryton face plant into the water. Amy ran after Bryton and Matt and Emily were left to unpack the chairs and food from the trunk of the car.

Matt and Emily found a place on the beach and set up their chairs and pulled out some food.

“Beautiful day, it couldn’t be any better.”
“Well I don’t know about that, a nice chocolate milkshake would be nice right now, other then that it’s a great day.” Matt said humorously.
“That’s typical; all you ever want is more food. You’re gonna get fat when you’re old, you know that right?”
“No I won’t, I work out to much to get fat.”
“Well there is a food stand over there, go get a milkshake.”
“That’s to far away, I will later.”
“See, you’re fat and lazy.”
“Shut up!”
“Oh Matt.”

Bryton and Amy came to where Matt and Emily were sitting and plopped down on a towel and Bryton immediately began eating.

“You need to slow down.” Amy said
Bryton just continued to eat while Matt laughed hysterically.

“So Emily, What are you going to do about college this fall?” Amy asked.
“I was accepted to Mullinger University in Kilmona, I’m going to major in medicine there.” Emily explained.
“That’s so cool! They have a good medical program there.”
“Blah! Blah! Blah!” Bryton said.
“It’s summer! We don’t wanna talk about school! Let’s bury Matt in sand!” Bryton yelled. Amy and Emily laughed.

“Here’s a better idea! Let’s Dig a big hole and put you and your big head in there!” Matt said.
“Very funny.” Bryton said sarcastically.
“You guys wanna go to the water?” Amy asked.
“YES!” Bryton yelled as he ran towards the water again.
“He really seems to love the water.” Emily said.
“I bet he’s part fish.” Matt said.
“Em, I’m going to the car to get my surf board, I’ll meet you guys down there.” Matt said.

Matt got his surf board and headed towards the beach to join the others. He got in the water and paddled out and caught a big wave. A thunderous roar of cheers and applause echoed the beach of people watching and cheering him on, in awe of his talent on the board. He came back to shore and high-five’d Bryton and went back to the chair and sat down and starred at the blue ocean waves. He put on his sun glasses and laid back soaking up the sun and listening to the waves and seagulls and the people on the beach. Matt was starring at the ocean when he saw something blurry on the horizon. He removed his sunglasses to get a better view and noticed they were ships, naval ships. Approaching the coast of Verosha, he saw black and red flags on the masts of the ships, and he knew what was happening, Vigilance was coming towards shore.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 23 Next »

Join the Discussion

This book has 3 comments. Post your own now!

writer112358 said...
Jul. 9, 2012 at 8:03 pm
I agree. It's a good story, but don't tell as much. Show the reader the same information in the first page as part of the progression of the plot.
gavinbob said...
Jun. 15, 2012 at 12:10 pm
I really like the names and vocabulary. Perhaps you could not explain so much in the first page. Maybe just get into it a little slower. Explain everything on the way; as the plot is progressing.
fk[s said...
Feb. 4, 2012 at 9:35 am
Too much information on the first page.

Launch Teen Ink Chat
Site Feedback