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A Dark Blade Waits

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Author's note: This started out as a school project, and, over the course of two years, was expanded into what it is now.
Author's note: This started out as a school project, and, over the course of two years, was expanded into what it is now.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 15 Next »

Chapter 5

“This just in. A group of students here in Madrid for the International Sing-Off competition were found slaughtered in their room, all with fatal puncture wounds. More info as this story progresses.”

Tom had gone to a field outside Madrid. “Your sure this will work?” he said, his voice gravelly and full of malice.

“Of course it will work! Now do it! Bring her back!”

Tom made an X surrounded by a square, and then stuck Maledetto in the very center.

“Kraysha, mistriss of nightmares and horror. Come to me!”

The dirt square started to move, independent of the rest of the ground. It rumbed, then rose 25 feet in the air, with a multi-coloured film covering the now empty space on the ground. After it had finished its acsent, it looked like a rainbow box, topped with a dirt cube. The film started to move, then shifted open to let in a monster.

Its skin was the colour of over-ripe plums, and it’s three, verticle eyes were yellow, and had no pupils. She had the body of a woman, and wore a tight fitting, one piece garment that was the exact same shade as her skin.

After it came through, the rainbow membrane disappeared, like a popped bubble, and the dirt cube fell from the sky, Maledetto still in the center.

“Who dares call me to this realm?”It inquired, in a myriad of voice, not quite harmonious.

“It is I, controller of Maledetto, and now controller of you.” Tom replied.

“No one controls me! Especially not a pathetic, weak human!” It screamed. “You shall pay dearly for your insolence.”

Kraysha reached out, and put her hand on Tom’s shoulder. It felt hotter than a million suns, and yet, as cold as Pluto’s light starved surface. He felt something crawl through his skull, and start clawing at his mind.

“No! Get out of my head!”

“Interesting. Interesting!” Kraysha withdrew her hand, stepped back, and started spinning. She got faster, and faster, and faster still. Finally, when it stopped, Kraysha didn’t stand there anymore. Instead, there was a pile of snakes of different kinds and shapes. Tom was deathly afraid of snakes, and tried to run, but to no avail. The snakes crawled on him. Vipers, water moccasins, great boas, tiny garden, all started to twist, and constrict, and bite. They got tighter, and tighter, until finally, there was a “SNAP!” and Tom went limp.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 15 Next »


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This book has 5 comments. Post your own!

MayaS. said...
Dec. 1, 2012 at 1:50 pm:
Chapters 10-end: Definately not a typical ending! That was a really powerful twist!!! The descriptions of Caligos were really awesome, I could picture him perfectly!
 
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MayaS. said...
Dec. 1, 2012 at 1:36 pm:
Chapters 7-9: The episodal style is great and keeps the story moving, except sometimes I don't get to know the characters enough. The paragraph in chapter 9 when Maledetto explodes - "Sending glassy water and watery glass everywhere....the metal migrated to the stalls, piercing through plastic....buried itself 4 inches into the wall" - was my favorite part, really well-written.
 
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MayaS. said...
Dec. 1, 2012 at 1:27 pm:
Chapters 4-6: I was a little confused at how the sword ends up in such an unsecure location in Madrid. Tom was a great character, until, well... Your story reminds me a lot of a book I read called Elric of Melnibone by Micheal Moorcock; it's a fantasy about a sword with superhuman powers that possesses whoever uses it. You'd probably like it! :)
 
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MayaS. said...
Dec. 1, 2012 at 1:18 pm:
Chapters 1-3: This is definately an engaging and well-written story so far. I especially enjoyed the descriptions of "bolts of silk" and "hair as black as a new moon." Also I think there were some allusions ("perfumes of Arabia" and lol "Prancing Pony.") There were a few anachronisms here and there in chapter one, but chapter 2 was absolutely fantastic. Chapter 3 was a bit of a jolt from the earlier writing style, though. Can't wait to see what happens... (more »)
 
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Kvothe28 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 1:09 pm:
To begin I thought that your description of the environment in the first chapter was awesome. Your writing throughout was very fluid and I especially enjoyed the department of curious contraptions, where you have created a place for all mythical objects. =) The transition from the hotel in Ch.4 to the field in Ch.5 seemed a bit quick. Other than that its really good.
 
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