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The Devil's Rose

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Author's note: I've always loved fantasy. It's my favorite genre and I wrote this in 45 mins. I hope everyone enjoys it!
Author's note: I've always loved fantasy. It's my favorite genre and I wrote this in 45 mins. I hope everyone enjoys it!  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 12 Next »

A Rose?

The walk home was entertaining for Jeri but not very pleasant. Reno always made her laugh, but Jeri hated the cold weather. The harsh wind bit Jeri’s nose and froze her fingers. Jeri shoved her hands deep into her pockets trying to shield herself from the ruthless fall breeze. “What’s up with this weather?” Reno muttered, “It’s never been this cold here.” Jeri was half paying attention to her friend as he rambled on about the weather. As she pulled her jacket closer to her, out of the corner of her eye she spotted a man in a white suit watching her from across the street. She froze and met his gaze. Jeri tried to speak but her mouth wouldn’t move. It was as if the icy wind had frozen her mouth shut. She watched the man pull something from his pocket. A toothy grin crept across his face as he reached out his hand as if trying to give her something. Jeri squinted at the object in his hand. A rose? Jeri opened her mouth then closed it. She was at a loss for words. The strange man held the crimson rose by the stem waiting for Jeri to take it from him. Jeri watched the grin slowly creep away from him and she could tell he was getting angry. She could see he tightened his jaw and gritted his teeth. “Jerico!” The man almost yelled to her. Before she could try to reply, the man tossed the rose in the air. Jeri watched the rose fly through the air and gently drop at her feet. When she looked up the man was gone. Confused, Jeri reached down and grabbed the rose. A sharp pain went through her hand and blood dripped from her finger. Jeri stared at her finger as blood covered her entire hand. “Jeri what happened to you?” Reno demanded. Jeri opened her mouth to speak but nothing but air escaped her mouth. Her friend made an impatient sound in his throat and grabbed her by the wrist dragging her down the street.
Jeri’s house wasn’t far from where she saw the man in the white suit. It actually wasn’t a house, it was an immaculate condominium. She stumbled as Reno dragged her up the steps to her home. Reno had been garbling to himself the whole time. Jeri could barely understand what he was saying but he sound a little upset. Still unable to speak, Jeri stepped inside her parents luxurious two story home. She always thought her parents spent their money carelessly. Jeri and her parents lived on the up side of the city. Her mother used to act when she was a child but now spent her days as a manager for aspiring artists and musicians. Jeri’s father was a pilot so he wasn’t home that often. Jeri hoped that neither of her parents were home today. They wouldn’t be concerned about her or her injured hand; they would be concerned about her getting blood on the carpet. “Jeri are you listening to me?” Reno had finally let go of Jeri’s wrist.
“Yeah I’m listening.” She slowly said.
“Doesn’t seem like it. I didn’t know a small puncture wound could bleed this much.”
He had the whole stem of the rose in his hand and it didn’t hurt him, Jeri thought.
“Huh?” Reno perked up and gazed at his friend as he wiped her hand clean with a dish towel. “What are you talking about Jeri?”
She tried to think of an excuse to say. “I didn’t think I said that out loud.” Lame! Jeri thought. He won’t buy that.
“You don’t need to be embarrassed. I’ve known you for years. Now who are you talking about?” Reno sounded concerned again. A worried Reno, Jeri thought, is an annoying Reno. She took a deep breath, sat at the kitchen table and reluctantly told her friend about the man in the white suit. She told him about the rose and about the strange man repeating her name over and over again.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 12 Next »


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This book has 8 comments. Post your own!

BluBirdWriter13 said...
Sept. 13, 2012 at 5:43 pm:
I LOVED IT! You should really do a sequel I would lovee it and I'm sure others will too.
 
BreatheInsanity replied...
Sept. 15, 2012 at 1:30 am :
Thank you! Working on a sequel right now :) Really hope you all like it.
 
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EtherealThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 24, 2012 at 4:54 am:
wow! I love the descriptive writing, and the dialogue is great (I Find that the hardest part) I agree with timekeeper, Jericho as a girl's name is super cool and creative! *****!
 
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marchbutterflyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 14, 2012 at 3:15 pm:
I've only red a few chapters but already I can tell your a great writer. Your characters are so well developed.
 
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Kvothe28 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 6:22 pm:
Your writing is very detailed, and I forgot I was reading after awhile. Also, Jerico's relationships with her parents and Reno were well crafted.
 
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Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 5:17 pm:
I'm definitely appreciating the longer, more fleshed out chapters compared to your earlier novel. I like the creativity of using Jerico as a girl's name, and I enjoyed the recurring red imagery. It was very thematic and it helped create a cohesive work.
 
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Tinyclaw said...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 10:06 pm:
Very good you are a really talented writer
 
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PinkSkittlezInMahMouth said...
Dec. 4, 2011 at 3:19 pm:
OMG i cant believe no one has commented on this!! great story!! keep writing!
 
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