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War for the Universe

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Author's note: Please comment. It leaves off because this is the very beginning of a novel that I am writing and...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: Please comment. It leaves off because this is the very beginning of a novel that I am writing and I plan to get it published. I would really appreciate to hear what you like or dislike about it, and what I will need to edit before getting it published. So please comment!  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 Next »

Preface

You will never really understand what war is like until you experience it. But you can get a better grasp on the subject if you listen to someone’s story of how they experienced it. You can learn that war is not what it seems. It is not worse nor is it better than what you hear on the news all the time. It’s a completely different story altogether. Who does the news put the spotlight on? Well those of whom they think are the most important. The ones that they think deserve to be shown on TV. But what about those who keep the whole thing going? The ones who supply all of the weapons and control the communication? Or all of those big tanks and transportation that all of our soldiers are using? Nah, I’m not talking about the old war in Iraq or World War II, I’m talking about the War for the Universe.
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 Next »


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This book has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Bgeek24 said...
Jul. 25, 2011 at 9:30 am
Thanks you guys. I should have mentioned that I have not edited this book at all. It is completly original and I have changed nothing. I just wanted to see how people would like it the way it is.
 
Kailey4This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 24, 2011 at 9:56 pm
In the second chapter it felt sort of rushed...you could have used a lot more description. Just slow down a bit, and use the amazing describing skills I know you have. It feels like you spent a lot more time in the beginning than everything else. You also sort of added some things in last minute--it kind of threw me off. Other than that it was great!!
 
Kailey4This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 24, 2011 at 9:53 pm
I like how you described in the beginning--good dialogue!! Also I thought it was cool how you snuck in the time with the "60 years ago..." It makes me want to read more--I like these kinds of stories;)_
 

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