The True Freedom
Author's note: Well I kind felt like my life was missing things and that I need so much more in life then the... Show full author's note »
My WorldI stood there staring glaring out of the school's glass doors look at the rain and the gray clouds while the wind blew the trees around. I sighed realizing I forgot to bring an umbrella and put up the hood on my jacket. I turned on my iPod and walked out the doors on my way home.
I let the music fill up my head and drown out the boring day, another extra ordinary day walking the same old pattern, what a surprise. It was like I was reliving the same day over and over again. It was the same
I saw a pink punch-buggy car park beside me and a girl from one of my classes opened the driver door. She had blonde curly hair and kind of reminded me of the Strawberry Shortcake girl with her pink shirt.
“Hey I was wondering if you need a ride somewhere. You look a little wet,” she smiled after I pulled one of my headphones out of my ear.
“Thanks,” I told her bluntly as I got into the car. I tried to keep quiet but I knew from my class she wasn't going to be.
“No problem. Where to...um...Zoey...right?” she asked. Her voice kind of remembered me of a child's, very squeaky.
“Ah yeah, just stay on this road down to the other side of the town,” I told her.
“I am Lucy,” the girl told me still watching the road but smiling.
“Yeah, you are in my history class,” I kept my sentences short and to the point as I stared out the window of her car.
“Oh yeah you sit next to Tim in the back right. You are the really quiet one. What do you do back there anyway? I always see you just staring off into space like you aren't even there or like you are in another world...” She went on and on, I gave little grunts that could have meant yes or no. I wasn't paying attention nor did I have any desire to do so. I was daydreaming caught in my own little world I had spun, my world of freedom and excitement. But best of all no more boring days.
“Zoey?” she looked at me while we were stopped at a red light breaking into my thoughts, “You still there?”
“Ah... Yeah sorry, what were you saying again?” I asked her still looking out the window.
“I was asking if we were getting close?” she giggled which made her sound more like child. This girl was one of those people that before they open there mouth you think they are the normal student type, but when they start talking you realize they are the annoyingly silly childish type. She was the type that only got on your nerves.
“Um... yeah next block,” I told her as I got my stuff together when I realized how close we where.
“But the only house down there is the town mansion,” she told me as her voice went up even higher in confusion.
I sighed. People called my house the mansion because it was the biggest house in our town, which wasn't saying much. Trust me on that one. “Yeah I know, that is my house.”
I heard her take a big breath of air and I had this strange sense that she was going to kill me with words or at least try, “OMG NO WAY!!!! You live in the mansion?” she screeched kind of making my ears hurt.
I tried to keep things blunt on my side of the conversation, “Not really that much of a mansion.”
“Are you kidding me? That house is like twice the size of any another house in the town.” That is really easy when the houses are the size of gingerbread houses, I thought to myself smirking.
“Yeah well it doesn't make it a mansion,” I sighed as she parked in front of my house. I got out of the car I told her thanks for the ride and looked at my house for a second.
She sat there in her neon pink bug for a couple more seconds looking up at the house with me taking it all in. The house was nothing but a three story house with a basement and attic. The whole thing was made of brick with a glass screen door and a wooden door. The window shutters matched the wooden door giving the whole house a bored civil look and the little garden in the front didn't help much either.
The house was a farm but the guy working the farm became sick, so he couldn't keep it. My dad had then decided to move closer to work and found it. He took down most of the farm buildings in the yards giving us a pretty big yard. The only one that still stood was a little red hay shed in the back of the property, which is now surrounded by woods thanks to some kind of program for the environment. It was the only farm building that was still standing because when he was taking down the others we found a litter of kittens in the shed. The cats in the barn eventuality became our cats Boots, Tiger, and Prince then he just never got around to taking it down afterwards.
It was fine by me though because it became my personnel hideaway. Once I was in it everyone in my family knew to leave me and Tiger, my cat, alone for as long as possible. Tiger was a dark brown with black stripes- hence the name- and he was probably my brother in another life. His personality was just like my get out of my way and we don't have a problem kind of attitude. Even with me he was a stubborn little twit when he wanted to be, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I was just as stubborn.
I threw my bag by the coat rack with my shoes deciding to do whatever little homework I could remember we had later before I went to bed as Tiger came up by my leg following me up to my room. I opened my door as I throw my hoodie on my desk chair and grabbed my laptop sitting on my bed. A moment later Tiger jumped up on next to me laying on my pillow giving me a don't disturb me glare before falling asleep. I turned on some music from my laptop as my iPod charged on the corner of my desk and started to read my book. I know from what you have heard about me I don't seem like the reading type but these books where the closest thing I had to my ideal live.
They were all books about complete fantasy. Dragons, werewolves, vampires, fairies, you name it and I probably had a book on it as long as it was fictional fantasy. For some tormented reason the only one thing I was ever really sure that I wanted was the only thing that no matter how hard I tried I would never have. Then to add insult to injury, I would dream about my own fantasy life only to have it ripped away from me when I woke up. It was like I was still a child holding on to those silly dreams before people start telling you want you can believe in and what was just movies, books, and nothing else.
I guess this is the part where people start calling me crazy or insane, but I considered myself more extremely unlucky. It was like God or whoever was upstairs just felt like making me his plaything and decided it would be fun to watch my suffering. I chuckled to myself thinking about it as I turned the page.
I continued to read for the next hour or so losing track of time after the first 30 minutes. The only reason I now had my book down was because my stomach growled underneath Tiger's weight freaking him out. I laughed as he fell on the floor and glared up at me.
“What?” I told him, “It was your own fault for setting on my stomach for so long.” I rubbed his head quickly before he shook it in disapproval and stretched. I laughed again closing my book and joining him at the door to my room.
I ran down the stairs into the kitchen to start supper. My father sat on the couch working from his laptop but he couldn't cook anyway. Then my mother didn't home until nine on a Tuesday and I wasn't waiting till then for supper, neither was Tiger. I felt him jump on my shoulders wrapping his long tail around my neck for support when I grabbed his kitty food bowl from the ground.
“Hey Dad,” I yelled through our dining room into the living room, “What do you want for supper? I have to cook tonight,” I told him as Sue, my 7 year old sister, came into the kitchen carrying her fat cat Prince.
Prince was a black fat cat that was living the life of luxury being spoiled to death by my little sister. He had a little palace in her room made from an old Barbie castle after she went through a very early flushing Barbie heads down the toilet phase.
“Um whatever you want to make, Honey,” he told me as I heard him typing away just like always.
“Fine what do you want?” I asked Sue as I put Tiger's dish back on the ground filled with food and he followed it onto the ground.
She shrugged sating on the counter and Prince jumped on the ground following Tiger to see if he could get some of Tiger's food. I rolled my eyes pulling some chicken out of the freezer with a can of corn from the cabin and I started to work my magic.
After supper my life is the same every day. I went out to the shed with Tiger to daydream, read, or whatever I felt like doing until I felt like going to bed. It was almost like I had become nothing but an empty shell moving along the same path every day. But I put on a smile for my family and I keep moving day by day.
I walked back upstairs. It was ten and I had decided to go to bed. This was the only time I could actually make my impossible dream possible. Every night after I fell asleep in my bed I would dream of being a white wolf but it was so much more than just a dream.
I would run in the woods and then be exhausted when I woke up. I would get in a fight with other animals in my dreams and then have the wounds when I woke up. It was like I had a whole other world open up to me when I fell asleep. I wasn't the only one in my dreams though.
I had a pack of four wolves. The three other wolves each had a human personality about them but I just thought that was my imagination. The dark gray male was almost nerdy and geeky. It seemed like he was scared of doing something new and that he like a schedule. While the tan coated she-wolf was lively and funny more of a bubbly personality, which did drive me up the wall sometimes, but definitely the omega of the pack. Then there was my right hand man, so to speak, a male wolf with a gray coat that was lighter under his belly up to his snout. He had a trusting and responsible personality that made him even more desirable to me. And lastly there was me a white she-wolf and I was Alpha. Not afraid of keeping my pack in line but a complete mess under too much stress.
We were a bunch of misfit wolves but I didn't care. It was too good to care. The running, hunting, and freedom were so amazing that every time I woke up I felt trapped in a human body. I couldn't think of anything I wanted more than just to leave my life behind and fall into this world, just to let it swallow me whole and never fight coming back.
But every morning I would wake up like clockwork my human life would start again. It was sad, pathetic, and it hurt so much. Not the fact that I couldn't have my dream but it was the part where I had to wear a smile on my face every day just so people wouldn't think I was crazy. It hurt so much to flip a switch everyday and make myself feel like I belonged in this world.
I laid in my bed reminiscing to myself letting sleep come to me with my pack waiting. I could feel my eyes getting heaving and my mind going blank as I fell asleep only to be woken right back up in my world by three other wolves ready to go on a morning hunt.
I was greeted by the tan wolf as she walked up beside me. We were in the woods somewhere but when you are a wolf places hold little value. I stretched before leading my pack forward into the darkness of the night.
I let the moonlight hit my fur as I looked over our territory happy and free. I jumped down out of the cave we sleep in and started off into the woods to start finding some food as the two gray wolves followed behind me. The tan she-wolf sat there playing with her tail keeping herself company while we were gone for she wasn't much of a hunter.
We ran fast and hard to the river for the hunt. This was living. This was freedom, I thought to myself as the wind hit my snout, I would never tire of this. I ran faster with a second wind in my lungs as the guys struggled to keep up.
I stopped at the river already finding a couple deer even though we where only here at night it wasn't hard to find prey around a water source. My adrenaline spiking as the guys stopped behind me. I looked ahead of me lowing myself to the ground. The darker gray wolf went around to the other side of the deer. I felt my leg muscles tighten as I slowly crawled forward closer to the food having trouble keeping still thanks to the adrenaline.
I made sure all my muscles where as tight as I could get them and I sprang forward catching as much air as I could. My legs out stretched and my teeth bore growling. I grabbed the neck and held on as the lighter gray wolf was on its snout helping me bring it down to the ground. The darker gray was on it back biting and tearing at the deer.
I snapped down harder on his neck tasting the sweet salty blood flow into my mouth as the deer kept kicking. We all had him down on the ground and the lighter wolf snapped down on his neck breaking it while the rest of us kept it down. We backed off of the dead caress and started to eat. The taste of satisfactions in my mouth with every bit I took and having to work for your meal makes eating it all that much better. I was happy here with freedom in my heart and the challenge of live day by day. No drama, no heartbreak, no pain, I was happy with my pack in my forest.