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The True Freedom

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Autumn M.
The True Freedom
Summary: You every feel like you walk in a rut everyday or like the days are the so similar that they could be the same day? Well Zoey does and she wants more in life then the average human. She feels like she had been tortured by the man upstairs. But in her dreams she has her freedom and her world of the forest to run and soon maybe rule.
She falls asleep and her mind takes her to the body of a wolf with her pack. She leads them living in the forest only to be taken away in the morning trying to get her head out of that world. But she will soon find out that the world are more connected then she believes and soon she won't have to rip her head away from it.



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This book has 4 comments. Post your own now!

Ashley_Tucker said...
May 24, 2011 at 4:22 pm
I'm excited to see where this goes! You might want to go back and edit a little bit more, though. And this is more of a preferance thing, but I think you should the 'ya' to 'yeah'. Its perfectly fine when your texting and want to keep things short, but this is a novel. And when I see 'ya' I don't think 'yeah' so the dialogue sounds very strange. Check out my novel 'Shaya's Story, please (:
 
AGirlWithAStoryToTell replied...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 3:39 pm
thank you for reading my novel for starters!! and ya I know editing isn't my strong point yet.... I will get it down one day. But I believe in learning on the job so to speak. It's like I have the read the thing four hundred times over again and move problems keep coming up. haha but i will definitly go over it some more and fix those problems. I have already checked out your story as well. It was amazing. Thank you again Ashley.
 
Writomania This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 23, 2011 at 12:08 am

Hi.. your story seems pretty good but your pitch has several grammatical errors which, im sure can be sorted out on a seond read. For instance, instead of the word "than", you've used "then".. this is pretty disconcerting because the pitch is what attracts the reader to read your book..

anyhow, the story is pretty interesting but watch out for the typos..

Could you check out my work, "the diary of a teenaged lunatic" and leave your comments on it?

thanks..

 
AGirlWithAStoryToTell replied...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 3:46 pm
Thank you for the comment on my story and yeah editing is probably my weakest point.  I am still a new writer and am tring to again learn on the job. And I will check out your story for sure. But anyway thank you once again I will definitly go over it a couple more times and repost it.
 

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