All We Know of Heaven and All We Need of Hell | Teen Ink

All We Know of Heaven and All We Need of Hell

March 17, 2011
By randomcreepystalker BRONZE, Helena, Alabama
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randomcreepystalker BRONZE, Helena, Alabama
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Author's note: Ever since reading EarthBound, I've wanted to dabble in writing about the divine. Here it is. Enjoy!

Lily: There's something about days like this that add a bitter taste on my tongue, like I'm swallowing formaldehyde or something. I don't know, it's probably the heat that makes me this way, or the sunlight. Or the fact that I'm just coherently and naturally evil. Yes, I know what I am, have for years. Wouldn't have, if it weren't for Leviathan, Levi for short. If the fact that I can see him at all, while no one else can, isn't proof that I'm half demon, then what is? How about that I can do half of the things he can do? And he's full blooded, too. Oh well. Aside from making me feel acutely inferior, he's a pretty good lover. The sex is spectacular, actually. You'd think that cold serpent scales and sharp pointy teeth wouldn't be such a turn on, but he pulls it off well. Very, very well. But he's not going to show today, even though he promised he would. Here's demons for you, take every broken promise and broken dream and give them a consciousness. We wear that badge with pride, though. The air gets colder and heavier when we're around, and mortals find it hard to make eye contact with us. Mortals are just stupid, and today is the perfect day for them. I can see a few children playing in the sunlight from the only window in my apartment. Laughing. I shrug, because I used to eat their souls for snack time when I was little. I've got bigger fish to fry now. That's what Levi tells me when he materializes from out of the darkness. Ezra: I perch myself on top of the apartment complex, stretching my frame as high as it can go without actually hovering. That's the last thing I'd want any mortal to see. So far, the only people out today are a few kids playing soccer in the street. Pity. Today's such a nice day. The sun's rays seem to envelope me today, as if rewarding me for my work. My job is decent, but the benefits are great. I should probably go save that one kid, provided that a speeding car is going to hit him in a few minutes. He still doesn't see it coming when the hummer turns onto this street. I glide over there as quickly as I can, almost riding the wind. I pull him out of the way seconds before it passes. "Hey, a-hole!" The car's side barely grazes his back, and a dumbfounded expression crosses his face until he realizes what just went down. "Whoa. Sorry about that, Mister. Thanks for saving me." I smile, halfway because I feel good about what I've just done, and partially because this kid has no idea that a nephilim saved him. I prefer to keep it that way. The kid waves at me and he and his buddies resume their game. "Be careful!" I call. I don't see how they can stand it here. This whole place has this whole you're not welcome air about it. My gaze drifts to one of the apartments. It's the same drab brick as the other apartments, but somehow it's just darker than the others. I realize that one of the... other guys is probably present. I haven't been trained to deal with them yet, but I'll probably mention it to Gabe. I elevate myself, until I've perched myself back on top of the roof.

Lily:


I love the way he says my name, Lilith Marie Scarborough, because he's the only one who can. And I, in turn, get to say his. There's something liberating about having your true nature revealed, and being accepted. Not having to hold yourself in. So I whisper his name as we intertwine. Leviathan. In truth, it only lasts about four minutes, but still. Best four minutes of the day. I'm still whispering when we're done.


"We have bigger fish to fry, my dear." he says, and materializes into his human form.

Typical college kid gear. He pushes those square-framed glasses, and they slide down the bridge of his nose again. He flashes me a half-grin that could start the third world war if he wanted.


"What?" I say. "Nothing going on at Capitol Hill today."

He pauses, and rematerializes into a business suit. I've always wished I could do that, but here I am, pulling my T-shirt over my head like an idiot. The sunlight seems to pour into the window by the gallon, and it almost burns my skin when it shines on me. Levi takes a cautious step backwards.


"Damnit."


"What."

He's staring at the light like it's going to kill him. I've never seen it get to him like this before. He pulls the lamp off of my nightstand and hurls it at the window in one fluid motion. In a split second, the sunlight seems to be sucked away. The room feels like a void again. I let out a relieved sigh. Levi growls under his breath.


"Wait here."

He dissolves into the shadows and, in the blink of an eye, he's gone.



Ezra:


The sour air seems to follow me upward. It smells revolting, even up here. I thought the wind was supposed to carry these scents away. It smells kind of like sulfur and urine... oh god, I think I caught a whiff of curry. It doesn't occur to me what's causing the smell, until something grips my foot. I look down to find a burning hand tugging on my ankle. I almost feel bad for whatever spirit is reaching through the roof, because his hand looks like it's been injected with acid. The fingers are turning black and the rest of the hand is blistering like crazy. Yeah, I almost feel bad for the guy, until he starts to drag me down with him. so, I'm fighting him all the way down, which is kind of pointless , provided that he's obviously a full blown demon, or at least a very powerful demi. Well, I don't this ending well. He opens a pretty big can of whoop ass on me as soon as we hit the first floor. It isn't until he slams my face into the corner of this bedroom that I notice that there's another person in here. A girl, about seventeen. One of them. It's so strange, though, one of the strangest things I've ever come across, because there's just this air about her. She's innocent. At about that time, Gabe and Michael come flying in. He didn't even put up a fight. He just melted into the wall or something. It makes me smile, even though I'm sore all over. Yeah, it hurts like hell, literally. The girl's trying to escape, but it's not working out so good for her. She's barely even started to melt into the wall when Gabe grabs her shirt by the collar. She gets this panicked look on her face, and just dangles there. I can;t really blame her. I've never actually met a half demon before, but I've heard what they do to them when they catch them. Apparently, she has too.

Lily:


You'd think we'd be seen flying through the air, a trio of angels with a struggling half demon. Apparently, angels have the same invisibility power that demons do. We fly higher, and the angel that's holding me tightens his grip on my and pulls me closer as we fly higher. I start struggling, until I get a glimpse of the ground below. Yeah, I'm afraid of heights, so are most demons. Levi said something about the fall. The human side of me gets nauseous, and I cling to him. He smells awful and horrible at the same time, like everything too good to be true. The guy that got his ass kicked by Levi is trailing behind them like a puppy. He doesn't have wings like the others. The sky is growing darker and darker as we get higher, and it's getting harder to breathe. Stars start twinkling, and I wonder just how high we actually are. It becomes blindingly bright all of a sudden, and it hurts just to exist in that moment. A lone cloud drifts nearby, and the angel drops me on it. It starts floating toward more clouds that are accumulating in the distance. The two angels that are already there begin speaking in a language that I can't understand, and never will. My ears feel like they're about to bleed from the sound. At about that time, the third angel floats up. He doesn't glow as brightly as the others. You'd think he'd be jealous, or at least insecure, but he looks like he's just happy to be there.


One of the angels turns to him and says it in plain English.


"Hey, Ezra, watch her, okay?"

He gets this panicked look on his face, and I wonder if he's thinking about Levi. If I could smile in this place, I would.


"Um, Gabe, I don't know about this. I've never watched one of... them before."

Gabe shrugs.


"Just watch her until we get back, it won't take long."

Before he can reply, they speed into the distance, leaving trails of light behind them. I remember all the horror stories Levi, Abaddon, Zagan, and every other demon I've ever run across has told me about what they do to demis. My body erupts into a cold sweat. I have to get out of here, fast. Levi's not going to save me. Hell, he won't even touch me after he smells the stink of this place on my skin. The lackey angel, Ezra, hovers a safe distance away. I calm down a little. Escaping shouldn't be too hard.



Ezra:


It's a funny scenario, until you're actually in it yourself. I can just imagine Uriel and Raphael laughing their celestial asses off at this. Here I am, too scared to get within ten feet of this girl. Granted, she's half demon, but still, her human side should take precedence since she's here. I can't wait until the others get back. The look on her face reveals her fear, too. A perfectly mortal emotion. Maybe this won't be harder than I thought. She stands up and takes a cautions step forward. Maybe it will.


"What's you name?" I ask.

I probably shouldn't be trying to make small talk with this thing, provided that we're mortal enemies. Oh well, she won't be a half demon for long, anyway. She doesn't answer, and takes another step forward. I can feel her hatred radiating all over the place, and my human side starts to take it in. I push out my angelic side further, trying to cleanse myself. It's not working too well, surprisingly. She must be a powerful one. I think about how long the process will take. I don't know much about the process, but I hear it's excruciatingly painful. They end up being reborn, one hundred percent homo sapien. It's always seemed pointless to me, because you can always tell which humans have already been through the process, and they end up going to hell, anyway. She lunges straight into me, knocking me off the cloud. I still hover in mid air, by instinct, but I can see her tumbling headfirst to the earth. I begin to trail her. Sometimes, I hate only being half an angel. I'm still subject to the laws of physics for the most part, and air resistance is doing a number on me. Still, there's something about this one that's different. I don't think I can stand to watch, so I push downward as hard as I can. I'm so tired by the time I reach her level, but I swoop across and catch her. She cringes as she falls into my arms. I hadn't noticed how beautiful she is until now, but most demonic creatures are. That's how they make evil so enticing. I try not to concentrate on her beauty as I fly upward. Neither of us say a word, and I can hear her shallow breathing.

Lily:


He's trembling worse than I am. It's a wonder he can fly at all without dropping me. The ground below us doesn't look like normal earth ground. It's flat, barren, and gray. And even though we're miles up from it, I can still hear the wind whistling along the plain. He's concentrating on flying upward as quickly as possible, which must be harder without wings. There's something about the fresh, determined look on his face that makes me almost not hate him. But we have to. His ancestors chose his path, and my ancestors chose mine. I don't believe they were intended to cross. The higher we get, the more he brighter his skin seems to glow, and the shadows seem to recede from my own. My whole entire being feels worn thin, as if my existence in this place is slowly destroying me. I can't let this happen. In fact, I would rather die. So I squirm a little, and he doesn't even look down, but my right arm is now loose. I put forth all of the strength I can muster, and punch him straight in the face. Blood gushes from his nose, and I punch him again, even harder this time, and he drops me. He's falling, too. There's not much time to think about the end, or what happens there. I've never really understood what happened to my kind. Mortals went to either one of two places, but what of me? I hit the ground, and a wave of raw, mortal pain envelops my body. A cloud of gray dust rises up. That's the last thing I see before I slip into the darkness.



Ezra:


I don't know how long I've been out. It doesn't really matter, though. Time has no meaning in these realms. The place is gray and flat, and the sky is completely dark, with the exception of one lone, bright star up ahead. I've only heard of this place, never been in it. Some call it limbo, others call it purgatory. But whatever you call it doesn't matter. This place hasn't been in business in years, a couple million of them, in fact. I lay on the barren, chalky ground, trying to regain all of my senses, mortal and angelic. The girl's hand is in mine, and I jerk it away as quickly as I can, as if she might contaminate me. She's still lying limply in the dust, and I realize that I could destroy her easily now. She is at my mercy. I slowly ascent to my feet, and raise my foot to lay it down hard on her chest. But I can't. She looks so innocent, so vulnerable. I turn away from her, unable to bear any of this. Here's another drawback to being half divine, you can't hate. So I try to muster as much contempt for her as possible. She stirs again.


"Ezra?"

Half of me cringes, while the other half of me is drawn to where she lay like a magnet. Underneath the one bright star, the flatland glows silver, and there she is. Dark matter in my galaxy. I take a step forward. Her eyes are wide, and I notice that they're a lovely shade of amber, like dying embers. She looks like the infernal queen, herself.


"Lilith."

It comes out by accident, but it still gives me a sense of power. She cringes.


"So," I cry out, with a new found sense of confidence, "You cower, because I know what you are. And you do too, but you can't escape from it."

She rises to her feet.


"No," she snarls.

I detect a drop of weakness in her fury.


"Your power doesn't compare to her's. I was named in her honor."

Lily:


I'm not sure how much time we've been in this place, maybe eons, maybe hours, but its been enough time for us to get to know each other, very well. Ezra likes to call this place limbo. But it's probably not, because limbo hasn't been accessible for centuries. It turns out that I don't hate him as much as I thought. In fact, I'm growing rather fond of him. It's probably the sheer blankness of this place, it could drive a regular person crazy. I'm not sure at what point this started, but I'm beginning to view myself as more human than demon. I think Ezra's feeling rather mortal, as well. I turn to him.


"So, what do you want to do?" I ask, with an informality, even a warmth, that surprises myself.

He shrugs with the same casualty.


"What is there to do?"

I look around, nothing but miles and miles of silver dust, as far as the eye can see.


"I suppose we can think of something."

He lays back down again, and stretches out on the ground. For the first time, I notice how beautiful he is, and I begin to lust for him. But I'll keep that to myself, because I don't think he'll like that all.


"How about we just talk?"

So we do, and I tell him everything, and when I'm finished, I don't detect an ounce of judgment. He stares at the ground.


"Must have been tough, living with that kind of guilt."

I nod, for lack of any better to react.


"What about you?" I ask, "How was your life?"

I realize that I'm crying now, by the way my throat struggles to get the words out. I've never felt guilty before, but I do now. I feel guilty for just existing.



Ezra:


It's an impulse, a raw human impulse, that makes me stand back up. She's weeping, and I'm holding her as tightly as I can, and we rock together. She thinks she's a monster, and maybe she is, but that's not entirely all her fault. She's still beautiful, even when she cries. I wonder if Gabe and Michael ever noticed the good in her the way I do. I want to bring it out of her, to save her. Because if anyone I know, mortal, angel, or demon, that deserves it, it's her. I wonder what they'd think if they saw us like this. The most human thought races through my mind.

Screw Gabe an Michael.

I don't even feel the tiniest bit remorseful when I think it, and that's when I realize that I'm losing my angelic instincts. This is probably the lowest any of the divine could sink, and I wonder what my punishment will be when they find out. Will I be cast out, like them? Maybe, just maybe, it'll be worth it for her. She's not crying, anymore. Her gaze is fixed on mine, and I couldn't break it if I wanted to. Worlds seem to collide when we kiss. I can feel the ripple we sent across the universe.I pull away, for fear of what will happen if we go any farther. A cloud of silver dust rises up in our wake, and the sight of this barren plain gives me hope. It's a completely blank canvas. Maybe we could make it something beautiful together. Not right or wrong, just beautiful. I get the feeling we're not getting out of here any time soon. In fact, I hope we don't get out at all.


"I never expected to feel this way about..." she whispers.


"Anyone divine?"

She pulls me closer.


"Anyone at all."

Lily:


I never thought I would ever fall in love with one of his kind. In fact, I didn't even think I could fall in love at all. But I did, and I would do anything for him. We've planned this carefully. I'm going to ascend to Heaven, let them put me through the process. He's going to go down to Hell, and let them strip him of his divinity. They've never done something like that, but they're smart creatures. They probably wouldn't turn down an opportunity like this one, ever. One more blow against the heavenly forces for them. And as for Ezra and I? We'll find our way on Earth. We can make something happen. If there's anything I've learned from this, it's hope. Maybe I might not have any of this, even Ezra, later on, but no one, infernal or divine, can take hope away from me. We hold each other for the longest time, and I watch the dust settle again. I remember high school, and the only lesson I ever paid any attention to. We read Emily Dickinson that day, and I still haven't forgotten one quote. It plays through my head, in sync with our breathing.


"Parting is all we know of Heaven, and all we need of Hell."

I've never realized how true it is until now. I kiss him again before he leaves, longer this lime. We cause another rift in the universe. I can still feel his lips on mine.


"I love you."



Ezra:


I arrive at Hell much more quickly than I thought. It's not hot at all, like I was told. In fact, it's rather cold. Demons leer at me from all sides as I walk through. I don't really know where to go for this, I'm just walking to wherever I'm drawn to. The most grotesque...thing steps in front of me, blocking my path.


"What brings you here?"

His breath smells horrible, yet strangely aromatic.


"I'm trying to get rid of... this. The angelic side of me."

A horde of demons has gathered around us, and I can sense more interest than hatred. Another one steps forward, the one I found Lily with when I first met her. A wave of sheer loathing washes over me like I've never felt before. I don't care what he's done to me, but what he's done to Lily, the way he threw her to the wolves. He speaks.


"We can do that, but you'll have to do something for us."

I nod, and the process is over before I even know what has happened. I'm still not human, though, not completely. I'm something that this world I'm headed to has never seen before. There's not a trace of goodness in me. I try to conjure up at least a small amount of love for Lily, but I can't. Love is useless, though. Especially when you're the Antichrist, and your mission is to break the seventh seal.



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