How to Brutally Murder a Bird That Mocks | Teen Ink

How to Brutally Murder a Bird That Mocks

March 6, 2017
By jdwhite5500, Boise, Idaho
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jdwhite5500, Boise, Idaho
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Author's note:

This was a fun story to write, as I came up with a parody soon after I read "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee. This allowed me to tell a story about birds fighting against the government while also being able to integrate characters from "To Kill a Mockingbird" and create their backstories.

Once there was the town of Honeycomb. In Honeycomb, there lived a town of talking birds and talking food. In this wonderful and quirky town, some animals owned inanimate objects that they gave names and kept as pets. In the little area of Finch’s Perch, there lived an army of finches. There was a kid named Jem (short for General), another kid named Scout (who scouted out other armies and bases) and the father named Atticus (who lived up in the attic where all the computers were). They were a happy army of finches, but what they didn’t know, was that they were soon going to go to war.
Down by the dump, there lived a family of owls. There lived Bob Owl, the father, and Mayellacopter Owl, the adopted mockingbird and loving daughter. There also lived other owls in this family that nobody in the story really cares about. Mayellacopter had a pet anvil that she named “Codes” and she loved very much. She vowed that she would never use codes to make tools because she loved her pet. Also, what she didn’t know was that the government sent her that anvil to keep it safe, and once Codes is broken, it could result in a bird war.

It was a beautiful summer day in Finch’s Perch, and Jem and Scout had nothing to do. Suddenly, they could hear some screaming and squawking down below.
“Ahhh! What’s going on?” exclaimed Jem. Jem and Scout flew down to see what was happening. Just below, two falcons were fighting over a dill pickle.
“This is my pickle!” one falcon yelled.
“No, this is mine!” The other screamed. Both falcons tugged on the dill pickle. Jem and Scout flew down to the falcons.
“Hey! Let go of that pickle!” Jem yelled. “Pickles have feelings too!” Jem scared the falcons away and they dropped the pickle. Luckily, Scout caught it in his mouth. They flew the pickle up to Finch’s Perch and set it down. Suddenly, the pickle sprout arms and legs and stood up.
“Thank you for saving me!” the pickle thanked, “My name’s Dill.”
“Hi Dill!” Jem greeted. “My name is Jem, and my brother over there is Scout. Scout doesn’t really talk yet.”
“What, yes I do!” Scout said, confused.
“Shh… be quiet, Scout.”
“Hey,” Dill told them, “You guys seem cool! Let’s be best friends!”
“Ok, Dill!” Jem replied, pleased.
“Hey, who is the leader around here?” Dill asked.
“Oh, the leader of this bird area is King Boo Radley!”
“Cool! All hail King Boo!” Dill exclaimed. “Now, let’s go do regular kid things that have nothing to do with the plot of this story!”
“Ok!” Scout picked up Dill in his mouth and they all flew away to go do kid things.

Meanwhile, Mayellacopter was petting her pet “Codes” while she stared out of the window at handsome falcons. Just then, a good-looking robin walked by.
“Hey look, it’s Tom Robin!” Mayellacopter whispered, “Man, I want some of that.” Distracted, Mayellacopter accidentally dropped codes out of the window, and codes broke in half. “Nooo! Codes!” she screamed.
All her screaming woke Bob Owl up from his afternoon nap. “Hey! Mayellacopter! What’s going on up there?” Bob yelled.
“Um, nothing!” Mayellacopter replied as she picked up both halves of Codes. She flew up and put Codes in a place where nobody would ever find it, in her sock drawer, because birds totally wear socks. Codes didn’t matter to her before she broke it, but what she didn’t know, was that since the government was watching her the entire time, they were going to plan to make it come crashing down on her afterwards.

“You ate Dill?” Jem screamed while Scout was licking his lips.
“I was hungry!” Scout replied, “I haven’t eaten for like ten minutes!” Jem launched himself toward Scout and Scout flew away. They chased each other all the way back to Finch’s Perch.
“Jem! Scout! What happened?” Atticus yelled.
“Scout ate Dill!” Jem yelled.
“Dill is a pickle!” Scout replied, “I was hungry!”
“Mmm… Pickles…” Atticus said.
“Dad! Stop! He was our friend!” Jem yelled. While Jem freaked out, Atticus secretly picked up a bowl of pickles he had been eating and hid it in the fridge so Jem wouldn’t get mad. Just then, Jem woke up in a hospital bed, in human form, surrounded by doctors.
“He’s awake!” one of the doctors yelled.
“Go back to sleep,” the closest doctor told Jem. Suddenly, Jem fell right back to sleep, and woke up in his bird bed, back in bird form.
“What just happened?” Jem asked himself. Atticus entered Jem’s bedroom. “Atticus, I just had the craziest dream that I woke up in a hospital bed surrounded by doctors and I was in some kind of human form!”
Atticus laughed. “Well it’s a good thing it was a dream!” he said happily. Then Atticus hoped away and they all resumed regular bird life.

Meanwhile, the bird government had a very important meeting. It was so important, that all three branches had to be present to witness the historic event.
“I now call this meeting in session,” the head bird began. “As always, King Boo won’t be able to attend this meeting.”
“Come on!” another bird yelled. “We never get to see him!”
“Nobody has ever seen him, and when the time comes, we might get to see what he looks like.” The head bird replied.
“Well, that time is now!” a voice chimed in.
“What the crap was that?” Just then, a ghost materialized into the room. “Who are you?” asked the head bird.
“I am King Boo!” the ghost yelled. “This meeting is most important, and we have to make a very important decision today!”
“But King Boo, your majesty, you’re a ghost!”
“It’s a long story,” Boo replied, “Anyway, let’s get to the meeting!” The rest of the birds stared at King Boo with amazement and confusion.
“Okay, are all of the branches of government present?” The head bird asked. Some birds picked up a collection of branches. “Great, they are all here! Now, we have a very important decision to be made today. Codes, disguised as an anvil, has been broken by Mayellacopter. What she doesn’t know, is that the codes will come crashing back down on her. The decision we have to make is how she will be punished. Now, all that votes to drop codes on top of Mayellacopter, brutally murdering her, raise your right wing.” All of the birds in the congregation raised their wing unanimously. “Now, I’m going to count to three, and if nobody objects, we will drop the codes on Mayellacopter. One… Two…” Just then, a bird rushed into the room.
“I object!” The bird yelled.
“Who are you?”
“I am Tom Robin. I would just like to say that Mayellacopter is innocent! She had no idea that the anvil was important to the government! Also, she was distracted by my amazing looks when she broke Codes! I have always known she has had a crush on me. She’s been dropping all these hints. She thinks I didn’t notice, but I always noticed.”
“But, she broke one of the most important government artifacts this town has ever known, she must be punished!”
“I’ve hired a lawyer to explain why Mayellacopter is innocent!” Just then, another bird hopped into the room.
“Hello, my name is Atticus Finch. While I was up in my attic, I did some research on Mayellacopter, I interviewed some birds, and now I want to prove to you that Mayellacopter Owl is innocent!” Atticus finch paced the room, looking at everybody. “Mayellacopter was given the anvil as a gift from her adoptive father, Bob Owl. She had no idea that Codes was important to the government. She just treated it like a normal pet. I mean, she could have been more careful with it, but she didn’t know of its importance. I mean, if we really want to place the blame, we should be blaming the irresponsible government for giving something that important to a young bird! Another thing, Mayellacopter’s father, Bob Owl, is in the congregation. Bob Owl, did you vote for your own daughter to be brutally murdered?”
“Well, I didn’t like my daughter anyway.” Bob yelled.
“What the crap? You people have to have some heart, have some soul! I just wanted to tell you that Mayellacopter is innocent!”
“Well, that’s nice.” The head bird replied. “Security!” Two large birds hopped up to Atticus Finch and took him and Tom Robin away. “Now, are there any objections?” No responses. “King Boo, any thoughts?” but by the time the head bird had asked the question, King Boo was gone. “Well, now it’s time to vote!”

Meanwhile, Scout and Jem were flying around town, being all cool. Jem was about to eat a roly-poly when Scout started talking.
“So, what do you want to do today?” Scout asked.
“Well, I know what we shouldn’t do today,” Jem replied. “Let’s not try to make a new friend or else you’ll try to eat it.
“You’ll never forgive me for that.” Scout continued. “Hey, I know! Let’s earn some merit badges!”
“What?” Jem questioned. “We’re not a scout troop, Scout!” Just then, Atticus and Tom flew up to Jem and Scout.
“Jem! Scout!” Atticus yelled. “Run! The cops are after us!” All of the birds flew away and the cops chased after them. Up ahead, they could see a goose crossing, and they zoomed through it just moments before a flock of geese flew through, blocking the security from getting through.
“Man, that was close!” Jem said, relieved.
“Wow, that reminded me of when I was hired by Mr. Link Peas.” Tom remembered. “It was so intense. I was hired to protect Mr. Peas, because he was a couple of peas and couldn’t move. There were people coming from left and right trying to eat him, but I tried really hard to protect him. Oh, those were the days. Mr. Peas, you will always be in my memory.”
“This reminds me of when I was friends with Mr. Dolphin Raymond. He was such a daredevil!” Atticus reminisced.
“Would you guys stop having flashbacks?” Jem yelled. “The goose crossing is going to clear any minute! We’ve got to get out of here!”
“Hey, where’s Scout?” asked Atticus.
Just then, Scout flew up from below. “Sorry, I was just taking a dump. That chase scared the meadow muffins out of me!” Scout apologized.  The four birds flew away from the goose crossing, escaping the security.

Bob Owl was talking on the phone, back at their home by the dump.
“I will go grab the anvil,” Bob told the phone. “I’m glad we had security cameras to figure out where she hid it. I’ve just got to get it while she is distracted.
“Oh! I have an idea!” the head bird yelled on the other side of the phone. Moments later, the head bird, in a costume of Tom Robin, hopped in front of Mayellacopter’s house. Mayellacopter was, as always, up in her bedroom. Suddenly, she noticed the head bird dressed as Tom Robin out her window.
“Man, I want some of that!” she dreamed. She was mesmerized by the costume of Tom Robin’s good looks. Bob Owl sneaks in to Mayellacopter’s room, and hopped over to her sock drawer. He stealthily picked up both halves of Codes, and hopped out of her room.
“Well, that was easy!” Bob Owl said into the phone.
“Yeah it was!” the head bird replied, but just then, Mayellacopter was standing right in front of him.
“Hi, Tom!” she yelled. “I’ve never gotten up the nerve to talk to you because you’re really cute!”
“Um… thanks.” The head bird dressed as Tom replied. “Well, I’ve got to go somewhere. Bye.”
“No! Stay with me!”
“No, it’s really important!”
Just then, Bob Owl walked outside. “Mayellacopter! You need to come inside! Now!” he yelled.
“No!” Mayellacopter replied. “Tom Robin and I are going to get married!”
“Is it even legal for birds to get married?” Bob asked.
“I’ll break any law as long as I get to be with my Tommy!” Mayellacopter squeezed the head bird super tight. Suddenly, the head bird burst out screaming and flew away. Mayellacopter burst into tears.
“Oh, its okay, Mayellacopter.” Bob comforted Mayellacopter. Then, he turned to himself and laughed evilly. “This isn’t worst of it yet!” Bob mumbled quiet enough so Mayellacopter couldn’t hear. Next, he flew inside their house to grab the anvil. What followed was an ear-drum exploding scream.
“Dad! What’s wrong?” Mayellacopter flew to the scene.
“The anvil is gone!” The anvil wasn’t where he had put it.
“Dad, I have something to tell you. I broke the anvil. Then, I hid him in my sock drawer.”
Bob gasped as if he had never heard this news before. “What? Mayellacopter, go to your room!” Mayellacopter sadly flew up to her bedroom. “Now, where did that anvil go? It was right here a second ago.” Just then, another blood-curdling scream was heard. Bob flew to the scene. “Mayellacopter? What’s going on?”
“The anvil! It’s gone!” Mayellacopter was in tears.
“Oh no!” Bob screamed. “I think that we have a burglar hopping around these parts.”

Meanwhile, Atticus flew, holding the anvil parts in his mouth. He flew right up to Scout, Jem and Tom. “I’ve got the anvil. I’m glad we are saving Mayellacopter from getting brutally murdered. We just can’t let an innocent bird die like that.” Just then, the head bird, still dressed up as Tom Robin, flew up to them.
“Hey guys!” said the head bird, “What are you doing with that anvil?”
“Uh, Tom?” Scout asked, confused, “Why is there two of you?”
Tom stared at the head bird. “Wow, I do look good!” yelled Tom.
“Hey, do you think I can hold onto that anvil?” asked the head bird. Just then, the security came zooming toward them.
“Ain’t nobody got time for that!” Jem yelled. They rocketed away from the security and the security flew after them. Already out of breath, it became harder to escape the cops. Since the Tom Robins looked the same, they couldn’t tell them apart. The cops began to get closer to the birds. Suddenly, one of the Tom’s wings was grabbed. He was taken away by the cops.
“Tom!” Atticus yelled.
The other Tom popped up. “That’s okay! That was my clone! I’m the real Tom!”
“Great!” Atticus yelled. “Now, let’s get out of this town!”

Meanwhile, the security flew up, with Tom Robin, to the second-in-command while the head bird was away from the government.
“I would just like to inform you that the group of birds that consist of Atticus, Jem, Scout, and Tom have the anvil. Also, we caught Tom.” one of the two cops told the second-in-command.
“Dude!” the second-in-command told the cop. “Why didn’t you just take the anvil from them? We don’t need this robin?”
“Oh yeah, sorry.” The cop told him.
“Well now, put this robin in the bird cage, and then, I want you, and the rest of the cops in your squad to find those birds! Retrieve the anvil! Hey, I know what to do! Now that the anvil is broken, we are eligible to start a bird war! Woo!”
“But boss, if we start a bird war, who would the war be against?” the cop asked.
“Shut up, we are just going to have a bird war, alright? Now, time to press this red button!” The second-in-command took out a red button from under his wing and pressed it real hard. Suddenly, the sky turned a war-torn green, and rocket launchers popped up from nearby buildings. Many buildings grew metal covers over them. “Now, go get the anvil back, or so help me, I will press the self-destruct button!” He took a self-destruct button from his other wing.
“Yes, sir!” the cops yelled.

Meanwhile, a lump of Scout’s crap was on the ground. Just then, it began to jiggle, and then it began to take shape. The shape was almost pickle-like. Just then, it sprouted arms, legs, and a face.
“Bwahahahaha!” the newly formed, pickle-shaped figure laughed as lightning struck behind him. “After a long and painful process, I am back, and I will get my revenge! Yes, it’s me, Dill, supreme ruler of the Earth!” Dill laughed evilly and climbed up a tree, heading toward Honeycomb.

Meanwhile, Scout, Jem, Tom and Atticus headed to a place where they could easily hide the anvil, Finch’s Landing. They all landed on Finch’s Landing, and they hopped inside.
“We’ve got to hide this anvil!” Atticus suggested, “We can’t just let an innocent mockingbird die like that!” Atticus locked the two halves of the anvil in a chest. Just then, they heard the sirens of cops coming toward the house.
“Oh, flock! I forgot that they had it tracked!” Scout yelled.
“Scout, you are ground until you are eleven years and eight months old!” yelled Atticus. Just then, the cops pulled flamethrowers out of their pockets and set Finch’s Landing on fire.
“What are we going to do?” asked Scout.
“I know what to do!” Jem exclaimed. “I am the general, and now it’s time for me to lead! Tom, chuck the chest with the anvil into the fire!”
“Wait, Tom, no!” Atticus screamed, but it was too late. Tom threw the chest into the fire, the chest burned in the flames and the anvil melted away.
“Well, I guess the Codes that Mayellacopter broke won’t come crashing down on her after all!” Scout yelled.
“Scout, stop talking! You shouldn’t even be supposed to talk yet!” Jem screamed. Just then, the cops kicked down the door of Finch’s Landing.
“Where is the anvil?” one of the cops yelled. “The tracker turned off!”
“Is this what you are looking for?” Jem asked the cop, pointing to the melting anvil and the flaming chest. The cops grabbed Jem and the others and put them in wing cuffs. The cops took them away, toward bird jail, as Finch’s Landing crumbled into pieces.
Moments later, the birds were thrown into their own cells by the cops.
“You can’t take me to jail!” yelled Tom. “I’m the head bird!”
“What? No, you’re not!” replied the cop.
“See?” Tom asked, taking off his bird disguise, revealing himself to be the head bird.
“You’re not the head bird!” accused the cop. “The real head bird is in jail over there!” The cop pointed over to another jail cell, which contained the head bird.
“What the crap?” I have no idea who that is!” The head bird was deeply confused. At this moment, the readers are also probably confused about which head bird said that. The cops locked the cells and flew away. Just then, the head bird that wasn’t the one that just revealed himself chuckled.
“What are you laughing about?” the other head bird asked. Just then, the head bird that didn’t just say the sentence unzipped his disguise, revealing himself to be Tom Robin, disguised as the head bird.
“Tom Robin?” They all yelled in both unison and confusion.
“Yep, I’m Tom. I was captured by the cops during the epic chase. Then, I found a head bird disguise right before I was put in jail, but I was still put in here anyway.”
“Well, now what do we do?” Jem asked.

Meanwhile, the cops reported to the second-in-command.
“Where is the anvil?” he asked.
“Well, it melted away when it was thrown into a fire.” One of the cops replied.
“That’s it!”  The second-in-command yelled as he reached into his wing to pull out a button.
“Wait! Why is the anvil so important anyway?” asked the cop.
“The anvil is magical and has magical powers. It fell from above!”
“Well, okay then.” The cop replied, also confused. Just then, the second-in-command realized that the self destruct button wasn’t in his wing.
“Where is the button? This town needs to pay!” The second-in-command was freaking out. He reached into his other wing, and lucky for him, the bird war button was still there. “This’ll have to do.” The second-in-command reached his hand in the air, to press the button in slow motion, to create dramatic effect.

Meanwhile, the birds sat in jail, sadly. Just then, Scout could see a weird thing coming into his cell, holding a large button.
“Um, guys, there’s something in my cell!” Scout yelled. The weird figure turned toward Scout, revealing himself to be Dill.
“Bwahahahaha!” Dill yelled. “See this button in my hand? Once I press it, it’s going to blow up this whole town, and when I’m done, I’m going to…” Just then, Scout chomped up Dill, and the button plopped onto the ground.
“This is what you should really do when confronted with a villain; you should foil their plans while they are discussing their plans to you!” Suddenly, things started exploding around them. “What’s going on?”
Just then, they could hear a voice that screamed, “He pressed the bird war button! He’s crazy! Fly away!” The whole city began to evacuate. However, Jem, Scout, Tom, Atticus, and the head bird were stuck in their cells, trapped. More yelling was heard, and this time, it was Atticus.
“The explosions have blown a hole through the wall of my cell! I can free you guys!” Atticus flew out of his cell, flew threw another hole in the wall into the security room, grabbed the cell keys, flew into the cell room, and freed the others. They flew as fast as they could out of the cell, with the self destruct button in Scout’s wing. Just then, he dropped the self destruct button, and it fell to the ground in slow-motion, also for dramatic effect.
“Nooooo!” yelled Scout, in slow motion.
“Scout, come on!” screamed Jem, also in slow motion, The button landed, back side up, and the button pressed down as it hit the ground. Everything blew up. Every building, every pebble, every branch. Scout, Jem, and the others sped away from the explosion, escaping death. Luckily, Honeycomb was already evacuated by the time it blew up, the bird war button serving as an evacuation warning, so nobody was killed.

Jem, Atticus, Tom, and the head bird coughed through the smoke. As the smoke cleared, they couldn’t find Scout.
“Scout? Scout! Where are you?” screamed Jem, freaking out. Just then, Scout flew up from below.
“Sorry, I was taking a dump. That explosion scared the meadow muffins out of me!” Scout apologized.
“Well, where should we go now?” Atticus asked. “Finch’s Perch and Finch’s Landing are both destroyed.”
“Hey, let’s migrate!” Jem suggested. They all flew away into the sunset, looking for a new home. Now, whenever you see birds fly through the sky, migrating, many of them are from the town of Honeycomb, searching for a new home.

Honeycomb was in flames, pieces falling toward the ground. Just then, King Boo materialized, in tears.
“My galaxy! My empire!” He treated his town as a galaxy. He flew up into the sky, tears in his eyes. “I know what I’m going to do; I’m going to go play some Mario Kart!” He flew away, ready to start a new life.
This story can teach us that if we don’t want to start a bird war, we shouldn’t try to brutally murder a bird that mocks.

Time after the Great Bird War, four birds continued to fly, in search of a familiar face. Being led by one letter, “Mayellacopter is still alive,” they had one goal: save the mockingbird and find out where the note came from. The note gave no clues as to where Mayellacopter might be, so the birds continued to search. A month passed, now two months. There was word of a new civilization on the rise, called New Stork City. Birds seeking refuge from the destruction of Honeycomb flocked there to find a new place in the world. There was hope for the bird civilization.
“We must go to New Stork City. This is our only clue at finding Mayellacopter,” Scout commanded.
“Why do you say that?” Jem asked, “Mayellacopter could be anywhere. We have spent the past few months living off of berries and the occasional pickle. There is no hope.” Jem wasn’t his usual self. As time progressed, Jem grew tired and depressed. Something was wrong with him.
“Jem, we must press forward with hope,” Tom Robin comforted, “I will stop at nothing until we rescue Mayellacopter.” Jem, Scout, Atticus and Tom flew toward the bird train station, ready to head to New Stork City. Tension was high. The birds struggled the past few months to find a safe way to live, as their main goal was to find Mayellacopter. They were set on making sure she is alive.
The train arrived, and the doors opened. Atticus flew inside the train, but as he looked back, he gasped. Scout and Tom turned around and gasped as well. Jem was lying on the ground, motionless. Atticus tried to fly back to the others, but the wing of another bird prevented him from leaving the train.
“Jem!” Scout yelled, as he heard the sound of a train leaving the station. Scout called 911, and medics arrived to the scene. They checked for a pulse, for any sign of life. It was no use.
“This bird is dead,” a medic told Scout. Scout burst into tears. “It looks like he had avian influenza. I am so sorry for your loss. You guys are lucky that the flu didn’t transfer to you.”
“It happened so suddenly,” Scout cried, “I should have done something when I knew something was wrong.”
“Scout…” Tom began,
“This was the same way our mother died. That’s it, I’m done. We are never finding Mayellacopter.” Scout left the scene.
Tom sat down in horror. “What just happened? What kind of story is this?”

Meanwhile, Election Day was nearing in New Stork City. A town full of busy birds and frantic food, one leader was needed to lead New Stork City out of the struggle that was the Great Bird War. After great stress through Presidential debates and discussion over politics, the election was narrowed to two candidates: Donald Duck and Duckbillary Clinton. This election could decide who would run the city, and the fate of the bird civilization.
“This is Meryl Cheep and you’re watching news at whatever hour it is right now. I am here interviewing people on the street about who they think is going to become the first president of New Stork City.” Meryl Cheep approached a civilian on the street. “So, who are you voting for president?
“Well, I am voting for Duckbillary Clinton. It’s obvious that she’s going to win. Do you know what Donald Duck told me once?”
“What?”
“He told me that you might kill two birds with one stone, but Duck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. I mean, who would want a president like that?”
“You’re right, while that is probably the best Duck Norris joke I’ve ever heard, it is very insensitive to birds all across the globe.” Cheep approached another bird. “You, sir, who are you voting for president?”
“I’m voting for Donald Duck, one hundred percent. He is very rich due to inheriting money from his wealthy uncle, Scrooge McDuck, and if he is elected as president, we can make bird civilization great again.”
“Thank you for your thoughts, as idiotic as they may be. Anyway, make sure that you get there early to vote for your president. As I always say, the early bird get the worm. I’m not kidding, there will be worms served so you better hurry before they’re gone. Well, that’s all the time we have for news at whatever hour it is right now, remember to subscribe and smash that like button. I’m Meryl Cheep, and remember, as always, get your ducks in a row and stay flappy. Thanks guys.”

Meanwhile, Donald Duck was sitting in his office, counting his money. Just then, he heard a rustling into the room. “Who’s there?” he asked.
“Down here,” replied a voice from below. Donald Duck looked down, and saw a small, cloaked figure. “Make me your vice president and I won’t kill you.”
“Cloaked figure, you’re quacking me up. I could just eat you right up, am I right?” Donald Duck replied.
“That’s not funny. I’m serious.” The cloaked figure pulled out a self-destruct button. “I have a self-destruct button right here that will convince you to make me vice president.”
“Oh, flock!” Donald yelled, “That ain’t good. Here, let me make you a deal. Trust me. It’ll be a good deal. I’ve mastered the art of it. Anyway, I’ll let you be my vice president, if you hand over the self-destruct button.”
“You promise?”
“Yes,” Donald replied, “I always tell the truth.”
“Alright!” the cloaked figure said. Donald Duck and the figure shook hands, but the cloaked figure didn’t realize that Donald was crossing his fingers behind his back with the other hand. The cloaked figure handed the self-destruct button over to Donald, and left the room.
“Who needs a self-destruct button?” Donald asked. He casually tossed the button behind him. Luckily, another bird’s wing caught the button, and took the button away.
Outside of the room, the cloaked figure took off his cloak, revealing himself to be Dill. “Bwa ha ha, now, after Donald Duck is elected, I can assassinate him, and I will be elected as leader of New Stork City! Yes, it’s me, Dill, supreme ruler of the Earth! Now I must find a way to make sure Donald is elected.” Dill headed towards the voting booth, as Election Day was the next day.

Meanwhile, Atticus woke up, in a room that looked exactly like his attic. Suddenly, a voice was heard. “Atticus, we know of your intelligence. You are like the only bird that knows how to use a computer. Because of this ability, we need you.”
“For what?” Atticus asked. His mind was in many different places due to the loss of his son and capture.
“We need you to research and design the plans for the biggest weapon the world has ever known. Its name, the Anvil II!”
“And what if I don’t?”
“Then we will give your other son the avian flu.”
Tears formed in Atticus’ eyes, but he made no comment. He went up to his computer, and began research. His goal now was to keep Scout alive.

Scout flew, eating pickles and thinking about life and about Jem. Just then, a thought appeared in his mind that also appeared in the author’s mind at the same time.
“Wait, Mayellacopter never lived in Honeycomb. She lived in the dumps near Honeycomb! That means that Mayellacopter’s home was never destroyed, given that the giant self-destruct explosion didn’t reach her house. The last time I saw Mayellacopter, she was at her house as Atticus stole the anvil to protect her from being killed. Why did we assume that Mayellacopter is captured? What if the note saying ‘Mayellacopter is alive’ is a good thing, saying that she wasn’t killed by the explosion?” Scout headed back toward the train station, as he needed a fast way to get back to Honeycomb and also to look for Tom. He looked around at the train station for any signs of a Robin hanging around. There was no Tom Robin anywhere. “I can’t believe Tom just left me.” Scout said to himself, “Should I even be looking for Mayellacopter? Tom doesn’t deserve my help anymore.” Scout still wanted to do the right thing. He looked over at the Honeycomb train, but saw that the train was shut down due to Honeycomb being destroyed. “Well, looks like I’m flying to the dumps.”

Meanwhile, Tom Robin hopped off of the train and flew into New Stork City, determined to find Mayellacopter. “Mayellacopter is my one and only, she’s my love. I can’t just have her admire me and leave it at that! I must flirt with her and keep her on my hook!” Just then, two attractive female birds flew by. “Hot dang, hot dang, hot dangity dang,” Tom Robin thought, “No! I must stay focused on Mayellacopter. I must give her my all. She isn’t going to want someone who flirts with other women!” Tom Robin journeyed deeper into the city and noticed that it was Election Day. Millions of birds flocked to the election booth to cast their ballot to choose the president. A starling flew past Tom and into the election booth. Tom left because he didn’t know the candidates well enough to pick one.
The starling went behind the curtain, grabbed the pen and selected “Duckbillary Clinton” on the ballot. Just then, right before the ballot was collected, a white drop fell from above and onto the selection. The starling left and the ballot was collected as if no choice was made.
“This plan is working perfectly!” whispered Dill. Another bird entered the booth, voted for “Duckbillary Clinton,” Dill dropped onto the ballot, and the ballot was collected. Then, Dill didn’t drop onto the “Donald Duck” votes, ensuring a win for Donald Duck.
The next day, it was time for the election. “Hello, I am Meryl Cheep, and welcome to news at whatever hour it is right now. Today is Election Day, and Osprey Winfrey is up on stage to announce who the first president of New Stork City is! Let’s see what she says!”
Other birds handed Osprey Winfrey the final tallies of the ballots. “Alright, is everyone ready to hear who the new president is going to be?” Osprey began, “The ballots have been tallied. So, the voter turnout was at a record-breaking low this year, however, everything that happens this year is record-breaking since this is the first year of New Stork City. Anyway, there were a lot of empty ballots for some reason, so you guys need to participate more next time we have an election. The final tally is this: Donald Duck, you have 5 votes, and Duckbillary Clinton, you have 0 votes. Also, there is about 8 million empty ballots. You guys need to try harder. So, it looks like the new president of New Stork City is Donald Duck! Congratulations!”
Donald Duck ran up onstage. “I knew this would happen. I was always in the lead. I owe this win to one special person out there.” Dill smiled as he was ready for the recognition he deserved. “I owe this win to the lady who made my toaster. You’re great.”
“That doesn’t matter,” Dill whispered to himself, “At least Donald will make me his vice president.”
“Now, who do you want to be your vice president?” Osprey Winfrey asked.
“Well, I’ve thought long and hard about this,” Donald answered, “If I had a vice president, it would be Governor Mike Fence.” The crowd gasped and cheered.
“Wow!” Meryl Cheep exclaimed, “This is the first time in New Stork City history that a fence, an inanimate object who had a genetic mutation that made him animate, was chosen as vice president!”
“I just want to include everybody, you know?” Donald Duck said.
Dill cried in horror. “Well, that plan didn’t work,” he said, defeated. “Well, it looks like it’s time for plan B.”
A few moments later, Donald returned to his office to grab his things. Just then, as he opened up his drawer, a cage came from below and captured him. Dill appeared. “That worked much better than expected,” thought Dill. “By the way, I need my self-destruct button back.”
“I don’t have it!” Donald yelled, as he tried to dial for security.
“It’ll be no use dialing for security, Donald! They won’t hear you here. I unplugged the Wi-Fi router, and we don’t have a cell tower built yet, so now you can’t contact your security!”
“No!” Donald yelled. Dill covered Donald’s mouth with Duck Tape, and spilled invisible ink all over him, turning him invisible.
“That was almost too easy!” Dill said, as he grabbed his Donald Duck disguise. He put on the disguise in attempt to take his place as president. “Now, I need to get that self-destruct button back. Without that, I won’t be able to convince anybody to do evil deeds for me. Luckily, I just remembered that I have the button tracked.” Dill pulled out a GPS. “Now, where is this button?” he asked. He searched the GPS to find where it was. However, it wasn’t anywhere in office. “That’s odd,” thought Dill, “Where could it be?” Just then, he saw the button on the map. “That’s a weird location. Oh well, better find it now before it’s too late.” Dill hopped away, ready to continue his plans.

Meanwhile, Scout landed in the dump near the ruins of Honeycomb. Suddenly, he noticed a big castle-shaped pile of trash in the distance. He flew over to it, but was greeted by two ant guards at the entrance.
“Who do you think you are?” one of the guards asked.
“I am Scout Finch. I used to scout for armies and bases, but now I’m a traveler. I am looking for Mayellacopter Owl.”
“You mean Princess Mayellacopter? I’m sorry, but she is quite busy leading this kingdom at the moment while her father is away on a business trip. Would you like me to leave a message?”
“Are you sure there isn’t any way I can talk to her? I got a note saying that she is alive, and also, her long lost love is also looking for her. Does the name ‘Tom Robin’ ring a bell?”
“I don’t know who’s running around sending notes that Mayellacopter is alive, but she’s already got a boyfriend, named Frank.”
“Frank, schmank, who she really needs to be dating is Tom Robin. Just let me talk to her! Please?”
“No! Get out of here or I’ll make you get out of here!”
“You know what? I think I know where she is. Excuse me!” Scout flew up, away from the guards, and up to the window above. There stood Mayellacopter, looking out the window for attractive birds. “Mayellacopter, it’s me, Scout!”
“Who the heck is Scout?” asked Mayellacopter, “I don’t think we’ve actually met before.”
“Oh yeah, right,” replied Scout, “But anyway, Tom Robin is looking for you! He loves you! He wants to be with you!”
“Really? That’s wonderful! It’s about time! I forced by dad to send him a note saying that I’m still alive and living. I guess I forgot to have him write anything else about where I am on it. Wait, how can I trust you? My father and I created this kingdom of giant ants to protect us from the evil government out to capture us!”
“No, Mayellacopter, I was looking for you for months with Tom Robin, my brother Jem and my father Atticus… wait just a minute. Where is Atticus? He hasn’t come back looking for me yet! Oh my gosh! Right now, Tom is searching for you in New Stork City, and my dad should be there too. I need to go there and look for both of them.”
“Oh well, who cares about protection? You sound pretty trustworthy! We have no time to waste! Let me come with you! Take me to my Tom!”
“Well, alright! Let’s go! Wait, who’s going to take care of the kingdom while you are gone?”
“Oh, right.” Mayellacopter turned around. “Frank! I’m going to New Stork City! You need to take care of the kingdom!” Just then, an iguana entered the room. “This is my current boyfriend (and soon to be ex-boyfriend) Frank.”
“How do you do?” greeted Frank.
“How do I do what?” asked Scout.
“Scout! That doesn’t matter, but you have to hold him!” said Mayellacopter.
“But I don’t want to!” replied Scout.
“Oh well, let’s go to New Stork City!”

“Hello, this is Meryl Cheep, and welcome to another episode of News at whatever hour this is right now. We are at the unveiling of a new super weapon to protect New Stork City from any further attacks or destructions. Let’s see what it is!”
Meryl Cheep stood in front of the stage. On top of the stage stood Dill disguised as Donald Duck, next to something covered up with a sheet, with a script for his speech. He grabbed the microphone, ready to speak to the crowd of bird citizens. “Hello everybody,” Dill began, “As your new president, I am happy to have the opportunity to unveil the newest secret weapon. This weapon has been designed by a new up and coming technological artist. This artist is devoted to protecting New Stork City, and some say he is so smart, he knows how to use a computer.” Birds in the audience gasped. “Now, here it is, the new weapon to protect us all…” Dill pulled off the sheet, “The Anvil II!” More birds gasped, some with anger, and some with cheer. “I know this may look a little bit scary, but we need this to prevent accidents like what happened to Honeycomb. In Honeycomb, we had a corrupt leader, and there was a bird war button, ready to bring the whole city down. Now, we don’t have no bird war button. We will use this weapon to send shockwaves throughout other cities so we can gain our land and destroy anybody who is bad. As we approach an enemy city, we will activate the weapon, and it will create a force field around the user of the weapon as the rest of the city explodes. Our priorities should be protecting New Stork City, so we can rise as a power in all the world!” Dill laughed evilly into the sky.
There was mixed reactions from the crowd. “So, is New Stork City going to be offensive, or defensive?” asked one bird in the audience.
“Well, that’s a good question. You weren’t supposed to ask that question, so I’m just not going to answer it,” replied Dill. “Security, get him out of here!” Dill looked around the audience. “Any more questions?” No hands. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”
“Let’s fire this baby up,” Dill said to his workers. “What’s the nearest civilization that we can destroy?”
“Well,” a worker replied, “There isn’t any civilization for miles, but we did find a castle with an army of giant ants inside. They look like they could be a threat to our city.”
“Perfect! Let’s get this bad boy turned on, and then let’s test the weapon on our test city. If it works, which I know it will, we can take the weapon to the ant kingdom and destroy it.”

Atticus sat in the attic, alone, watching videos on his computer.
Just then, a voice chirped in. “Your invention was unveiled to the public today. One wrong move with the design and you’ve just cost everybody their lives.”
“Are you working with the president?” Atticus asked.
“We don’t have allies, we have customers. The president just came to us looking for some self-destruct button, and we told him that if he wants it, he’ll have to buy the whole thing. After we talked to him about the weapon and how it can protect New Stork City from the very thing that destroyed Honeycomb, he bought the Anvil II and now he is going to use it against other civilizations.”
“But, a self-destruction button was what destroyed Honeycomb. How is a self-destruct button inside an Anvil going to protect New Stork City from being destroyed?” asked Atticus, “Never mind that. I did what you asked. Can I leave? Can I go and see my son?”
“No, you must stay here. We may need you to design more inventions for us. Now, please stop talking, and stop staring at a screen all day. It’s unhealthy.”
Atticus heard the voice leaving, and when he made sure that the voice was gone, he hopped back onto the computer. He went to a website to order a messenger pigeon. Atticus quickly typed a message to be sent to Scout, but just then, the voice heard frantic typing and checked to see what was going on, just as Atticus hit sent.
“Were you trying to communicate with the outside world?” the voice asked. Atticus didn’t respond. “That’s it, because of that, we will infect your son with the avian flu. It’s as simple as that.”
“No, don’t!” said another voice, “Then he’ll have nothing to lose!”
“No, we must,” replied the first voice, “Atticus needs to suffer real consequences for his actions.” Atticus cried.

Mayellacopter and Scout arrived in New Stork City. “Tom could be anywhere,” Scout said. Just then, a bird handed Scout and Mayellacopter a newspaper. The headline read, “Weapon test successful, ant army to be destroyed.”
“No! My babies!” Mayellacopter screamed. Just then, Tom Robin approached them. “Tom!” Mayellacopter yelled. They hugged.
“Mayellacopter! I’m glad you’re okay. Where were you? I looked everywhere!” Tom worried.
“Well, you must not have looked hard enough, because I was at my ant kingdom that my father and I created, waiting for your arrival!”
“Don’t tell me that the ant kingdom that is going to be destroyed by the Anvil II is your ant kingdom.”
“Ok, I won’t tell you.”
Scout looked back and forth at Mayellacopter and Tom, who weren’t talking to each other. “Guys! We’ve got to do something! We can’t let Mayellacopter’s ant army be destroyed! Plus, Frank is there!”
“Who’s Frank?” asked Tom.
“Nobody,” answered Mayellacopter. “Anyway, Scout is right. We need to save my giant ants. It’s once in a lifetime that you stumble across a colony of giant ants that are willing to protect you from the destruction of your own city.
“I know what we need to do, we need to start an ant war!” suggested Scout. “The ants are built for these kinds of things. They could stop the birds in their tracks of delivering the weapon!”
Just then, a messenger pigeon delivered a message to Scout. It read, “Scout, you are in great danger. Some evil men are out to kill you, the same men who gave Jem the avian flu. I need you to escape them, while simultaneously destroying the Anvil II. I have engineered a fast way to destroy the Anvil II, which unfortunately will activate the self-destruct button and explode at a large radius. The ideal situation would be to have the Anvil II away from as much civilization as possible, and then turn on a flamethrower, pointing it at the Anvil. This will stop the anvil from being used to kill so many. Please don’t do this, Scout. I need you alive. Find the way that can save the most lives. I love you, Scout. Stay strong. Signed, Atticus.”
“What should we do?” asked Mayellacopter.
“We must command the ant army to attack the birds and destroy the anvil. We must give them flamethrowers, because with the strength in numbers, at least one ant should be able to get to the Anvil and destroy it.” Scout replied.
“Scout, two things,” Tom began, “One, these giant ants can’t fly. How are they going to be any match against the birds? Second, all of the flamethrowers were destroyed after the Great Bird War. Where are we going to find one? Why couldn’t have Atticus designed an easier way to destroy the Anvil?”
“Scout! Watch out!” Mayellacopter yelled. She lunged in front of Scout, and she was infected with the avian flu.
“No! Mayellacopter!” Tom yelled.
Scout looked up to see who infected Mayellacopter. It was Bob Owl.
“Dad! How could you?” Mayellacopter asked, her consciousness fading away.
“Mayellacopter! I meant to infect Scout!” Bob yelled.
“Oh! That makes me feel better!” Mayellacopter replied, sarcastically. Tom Robin called the medics and grabbed Bob Owl before he could escape. The police arrived and Bob was arrested. Mayellacopter was taken away to be treated.
“Scout, I would love to help you, but I just love Mayellacopter and I want to be with her, so bye.” Tom Robin fled the scene. Scout was alone once again.

Scout flew into Donald’s office, but Dill (disguised as Donald) wasn’t there because he was out testing the weapon. He thought that there’s got to be a flamethrower in the president’s safe for self-defense. He was about to attempt to break open the safe, when suddenly, he heard a voice.
“What do you think you’re doing?” asked Mike Fence.
“I just need to borrow a flamethrower pretty quick. I am surprised there hasn’t been any security checks up to this point,” replied Scout.
“Well, let me call securi-“
Suddenly, a struggling noise and a sound of tape ripping was heard. “Mike! It’s me, Donald Duck! I was put in a cage with Duck Tape over my mouth and turned invisible with invisible ink! Please help me! I have emergency invisible ink remover in my safe!”
“Um, boss, I don’t have any hands,” said Mike.
“Here,” offered Scout, “I can open the safe. What’s the code?”
“The code is 1234!” yelled Donald, “I didn’t have time to set a new code yet!” Scout unlocked the safe and grabbed the flamethrower.
Mike Fence went to grab the invisible ink remover, but then remembered that still, he has no arms. “Um, bird, can you grab the invisible ink remover and pour it on Donald? I can’t really do it myself.” Donald started talking and Scout followed Donald’s voice to know where to pour the invisible ink. However, it was so difficult that Scout poured the invisible ink on Donald, but missed most of the cage. Scout grabbed the flamethrower and flew away.
“Ok, now I need to call security!” Donald said. Mike Fence jumped on the phone to call security. “Hello, security, this is president of New Stork City, Donald Duck. We have a little bit of a situation.”
“Stop right there,” security replied, “You aren’t Donald Duck. You must be an imposter! Donald is on his way to use the Anvil II to destroy the ant castle!”

Scout hurried to the ant castle, with the flamethrower. He luckily avoided Dill disguised as Donald and the people that came with him. He was able to travel faster than Dill and the others because it took a lot of power to transport the Anvil II, so they were moving slower. Scout landed in front of the castle.
“What do you want?” asked one of the guards.
“I need to speak to Frank and the entire ant population,” replied Scout.
“Hah, Frank? Frank knows jack crap about being a leader.”
“Let me speak to him! This castle and everyone in it is in danger!”
“I’m listening…” Frank and other ants gathered around Scout.
“Donald Duck and others from New Stork City are out to use their new weapon, the Anvil II, to destroy your kingdom. They are on their way right now! However, there is one way to destroy the anvil before it gets here. I have a flamethrower, one of the only ones in the land, and I am going to have to shoot the anvil to destroy it. I am going to need you ants to create a distraction by running below the birds and yelling. According to my calculations, Donald will reach the goose crossing at the same time a flock of geese will cross, so if we time the distraction just right, you ants can distract them at the same time. Then, I will jump out of the flock of geese and destroy the anvil. This means that you ants will have to continue running right after you make the distraction so none of you will be killed by the explosion. Also, Mayellacopter was infected with the avian flu by her father, so both your king and princess are somewhat busy right now.”
“What shall I do?” asked Frank.
“Just stay at the castle and continue being Frank.” Scout turned to the other ants. “You HAVE to hold him, am I right?”

Dill (disguised as Donald Duck) and his security members were traveling to the Ant Castle. With them was the Anvil II on top of a floating platform with propellers.
“We are approaching the goose crossing. There is a flock of geese coming, so we will have to wait it out,” reported one of the security members.
“Dang it!” yelled Dill. “When do I get to see my explosion?” The geese arrived, but suddenly, screaming was heard from below. It was the ant army. “Well look at that, an ant army. How nice!” Dill did a double-take. “Wait, an ant army? This is what we are supposed to be destroying! Activate the Anvil!”
“I’ve got a better idea,” a voice chirped. Scout jumped out of the flock of geese, flamethrower ready. The security jumped out of the way and Dill jumped off of the anvil towards the ants below. As he was falling, his Donald Duck disguise flew off, and he splatted onto the back of an ant. “I’m doing this for you, dad.” The animals fled from the scene as Scout blasted the flamethrower at the anvil, immediately activating the self-destruct button.

Tom waited outside the operating room as Mayellacopter was being treated for her flu. Just then, an army of ants barged into New Stork City.
“We are looking for Princess Mayellacopter and King Bob!” one of the ants yelled.
Tom ran outside. “She’s in this hospital!” he screamed. Tom and many of the ants gathered inside, as the operation was finishing up.
A nurse walked outside to talk to Tom. “She’s going to be alright,” she said.
Just then, the news turned on. “This is Meryl Cheep with breaking news. Donald Duck is onstage to make an important announcement to the community. Let’s see what he says!”
“Citizens of New Stork City, today has been a crazy day. So, I was delivering the Anvil II to destroy an enemy city, but then, a villain named Scout showed up and blew up the Anvil II. Luckily, he was killed, so he won’t bring any harm to our city. However, as you may or may not have noticed, there is a huge army of ants in our city. They are the enemy. Bird, big or small, young or old, we have a threat on our hands. It’s time to stand up and fight these giant ants!” Many birds prepared to fight the ants.
“Wait!” another bird chirped in on the news, “I saw a white turd putting on this Donald Duck disguise just a few minutes ago! He’s an imposter!” Two security guards flew up to Dill and pulled off his Donald Duck disguise. Everybody gasped. “So where’s the real Donald Duck?” the bird on the news asked.
Just then, a small voice was heard yelling from the president’s office. It was Mike Fence. “Everybody! He’s up here! Jeez Louise! Nobody bothered to come and check the president’s office! Why did none of y’all hear me until now? See? Little fences can do big things!” Security flew up to the president’s office and found Donald Duck in an invisible cage. There was a lot of explaining to do.

In the following weeks and months, Bob Owl and Dill were both interrogated, and they both revealed the company that created the Anvil II in the first place. As security invaded the base where the Anvil II was made, they found the leaders of the Great Bird War behind the creation of it. That included the head bird, the second-in-command, and both security guards. They also freed Atticus Finch. The birds went into questioning, and Atticus told the truth about him designing the Anvil II because he was forced to and wanted to protect his sons. However, Atticus Finch was sent into prison for about 5 months while the rest of the Great Bird War leaders were sent into prison for life. Dill had a unique sentence, as after he was eaten by a cow and turned into meadow muffins, he was flushed down the toilet. Hopefully that gets rid of him.
After Atticus was released from prison, he continued to make the world a better place. He was elected as the new president of New Stork City after it was revealed that Dill had cheated in getting Donald Duck elected and Duckbillary Clinton had fled the country. Atticus lived to be 11 years and 8 months old, becoming the oldest known house finch.
Tom Robin and Mayellacopter Owl began a family soon after Mayellacopter recovered from her surgery. They returned to castle to lead over the ant army, with Frank by their side. It took a while for Frank to cope with being “just friends” with Mayellacopter, but it all worked out in the end.

King Boo celebrated a first-place in in Mario Kart with his ghost buddies. He spent most of his days on the run from Danny Phantom, but he maintained a happy life as a racer in Mario Kart.
He sat at a table, talking to some of his friends. “And then he was like, unless you want Phil to sit by me!” All his friends laughed and thought it was a great punch line. From a distance, Scout, Jem, Atticus, and Scout and Jem’s mom, ate dinner together with the other ghosts, as a family.
This story can teach us that if we don’t want to destroy an ant castle, then we shouldn’t fix a man that watches.
 



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