Blither Reign | Teen Ink

Blither Reign

January 24, 2013
By staarshine, Flemington, New Jersey
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staarshine, Flemington, New Jersey
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(Please note that the title character has a vulgar mouth and her profanities are not to be repeated in polite company.)

“Frack!” swore Naomi as she tried in vain to remove to plasti-cuffs from her wrists.


She had woken up that morning to the click of the shackles as they snapped shut. Her hands were pulled roughly behind her, nearly wrenching her shoulder from its socket. She tried to yell out, both in pain and fear. Maybe someone sleeping in the nearby cots would hear her. But before she could open her mouth, she felt a puncture on her neck as the tranq entered her bloodstream. Her mouth sagged and eyelids drooped as the drug took effect. Naomi fell, barely conscious enough to hear the “sorry” whispered above her in the darkness.
Now fully awake, Naomi fumed, wishing that there was some sort of window in the back of the transport pod that served as her most recent prison. If only she could see outside, then she might be able to figure out where her captors were taking her. And figure out how to escape. But even if she could see out the window, there were only mountains of sand to help Naomi figure out where in the baath’al she was. Just miles and miles of dunes sliced deep by the trans-way and the tracks of other transport pods. By now, a crack of reddish light was slowly spreading out from under the pod’s hatch, indicating that the first sun was starting to rise.
“Creeping wunder-snatch! Let me out, you gargle-blisters!” Naomi screamed, pounding her fists against the walls and shouting other ills upon the plastituff sheet that separated her from the kidnappers. But there was no reply, or at least none that Naomi could hear. The rumbles of the other pods on the trans-way were amplified by the whirrs of metalite-wells pouring out forty kilo-tons an hour of the explosive fuel. Naomi sank to the floor, wrapping her hands around her knees. Lost again, I see, she thought. Only this time it’s not your fault…or at least not as far as you know.
The little transport pod kept on the transway for what felt like hours: Naomi wasn’t sure. She glanced down to her wrist-com, but it wasn’t there. Dratz! They must have taken it away when she was unconscious so she wouldn’t go pinging the police. For the first time in her life, Naomi wished that the police were chasing her right now. They would put these kidnappers away in lock-up for sure! Her captors were smart, she would give them that, but Naomi still had a few tricks up her sleeves. She zipped down the front of her jump-suit and reached in to an inside pocket. Out came a scratched sat-phone, one of the thumb-sized versions that had been discontinued because people spent more time looking for the tiny communicator than actually using it. But nobody had used a sat-phone in ages. Not since the whole sector was hooked up to wrist-coms ten years ago. But the technology was not obsolete yet. Naomi punched in the code she knew by heart. Spica’s number. He would know what to do. He could get her out of this without messy hold-up with the police. All Naomi had to do was give him the coordinates and Spica would come running. Partners always had each other’s backs. She hit “send” on the sat-phone and waited for it to connect. Naomi gritted her teeth as the bar on the screen filled…slowly. Faster, pilhock! I’ve got a date with escape!
Nearly there…just a little more…there! She was just about to put the sat-phone to her ear when it gave out three angry beeps and a cool female voice came over the line.
“Out of sat-net range. Please try your call once you are within the network. If you are within the covered range and are receiving this message in error, please call your local—“
Naomi screamed into the receiver, throwing the sat-phone across the trunk where it ricocheted back into her lap. No Spica to help her get out of this one, but hey, she had survived through more hopeless situations than this. “Just wait ‘til I get my hands around the necks of the inforgottenbiddle-swine! I’m not going down without a fight. Not yet, not ever! You hear that, krabble-bites?”


Possibly in response to this latest outburst, the pod’s player burst forth with Jonnaz Ackleward’s latest single, “Give Me Dance on Moonshine-11”, but Naomi’s mind had already switched on to hyper drive. With each passing league, her plan grew closer to becoming a reality.







The transport pod pulled off the trans-way, slowing and substantially tossing Naomi onto her back. This must be a toll-check. Their destination couldn’t be too far from here. But it was a few minutes until the pod came to a shuddering stop. We must have arrived, thought Naomi, getting to her feet so she would be ready the second the rear hatch was lifted. She listened for the boot-falls on the plasti-creat, advancing from the cabin to the trunk to release their prisoner. She crouched, eyes set on the hatch. The keypad crackled to life as the access code was punched in. 3…2…1…Go!
Naomi sprung out from the hatch like a compression spring before her two captors had any time to react. Hurdling past them, all that went through her mind was putting as much distance as possible between her and those people. Struggling to keep her balance with her still-cuffed hands, she ran towards the exit of the security fence. The place was deserted. There was a row of dull grey warehouses on her left but no one was in sight. Just the settling of the dust and the cranks of the wells in the distance. The first sun had had enough time to make its way to the pinnacle of the sky. Its heat had already infused the air, making it heavy like syrup. Naomi had run no more than a few steps when she heard a voice call out behind her.
“Naomi, please! We only want what’s best for you!”
Recognizing the voice, Naomi slowed and turned back to face her captors, finally seeing what their destination was: The Gate. They must have gone through a service entrance as there were no tourists or immigration lines here. Stacks of orange plasti-crates and barrels of metalite to be shipped off-world were the only indication that this was not a ghost town.
Fratz! and after all those years that she had trusted them. They took her in and cared for her, just to secretly ship her off-world the moment they were sick of her. Had her latest engineering successes in the bot-arena finally stepped on too many toes? Naomi took a step backwards, way from those cheaters, valden-spawn, back-stabbers…
“Naomi, come back! Please! You’re making a mistake,” the other figure, a man, called out. The woman had broken down into tears.
“I’m making a mistake? You’re the ones who snatched me up!”
“We know what we did was wrong, but please, Naomi, we didn’t have any other choice!”
Naomi snorted. “Fullsnitz. Sure you did. You could have left me there sleeping. Or just let me go out on my own. I’m not a juv anymore. I make my own choices now!”
“But sweetheart, we are letting you go—“
She looked at them blankly. “Then why in the fratz did you have to go and snatch me for?”
The pair looked at one another. They had heard enough curses come out from Naomi’s mouth over the past twelve years so this recent outburst of profanity did not affect them. The woman gulped and nodded to the man who began to speak,” You’re not a juv anymore and too old to still be under our care. We have to let you go…but seeing as you’re the type to get into trouble, we’ve made some arrangements for you through The Labor Department so you could start off with a steady job. It would be the least we could do.”
“So that’s it then? You’re just gonna listen to them, then? Drop me off at The Gate and send me off-world, never to be heard from again? Don’t I get a say in my own life!”
Somehow her traitorous feet had moved Naomi closer to her ex-guardians and she could see the tears in her ex-mum’s eyes. Well, that guilt-trip wouldn’t work on her! She had friends, her tools, and her life here. There was no way that was all going to be taken away from her without a fight.

In the end, two guards showed up and had to tow Naomi away. Someone in one of the warehouses must have heard to shouting and called for them. The two of them had muscles as thick as a Mucarian-bull’s and probably brains that were just as small. The only real difference was their blue uniforms and shiny badges. They took the paperwork offered by her ex-dad, scanned it into their wrist-com and shot a stun-ray at Naomi who had thought it would be a good time to make herself scarce. But the ray had hit her and she tumbled onto the plasti-creat where the guards picked her up and dragged her away. Cursing both of the burly guards and their ancestors, she was dragged past her ex-guardians who had retreated back to the cabin of the pod. Naomi saw their faces through the window. Her ex-mum was still sobbing into a handkerchief. Betelgeuse! Wouldn’t the woman get over it already? I should be the one crying here! I’m the one being sold into slavery!
Kicking and screaming as best she could, Naomi tried to make for what she knew would be her last attempt for escape. Once she was sent up in The Gate, there would be no coming back without immigration papers, which she would never be able to get. But the guards seemed to sense this and gripped her shoulders tighter. Smartly, the pair had kept Naomi’s plasti-cuffs on so she couldn’t scratch snatch their wrist-cuffs off to call for help. The boss would have both of their badges if he knew they had let their newest crewmember escape. The guards had enough sense to stun Naomi again so she would stop struggling. She resisted the lower shock settings but after a few tries, she was out like the Brumble-bear during hibernation season.








Naomi woke up for the second time that day to the most breathtaking view she had ever seen. All her life, she had dreaming of going up in The Gate Space Elevator but had never been able to fake valid-enough immigration papers. Some of her snottier classmates had bragged about the frequent trips they took with their fathers and how oh-so-fan-cosmically-amazing the whole ordeal had been. And for once, Naomi actually agreed with the idjits. The view was amazing.

Spread below her like a pilli-bug farm was the planet she had called home. In between the dunes, she could make out the settlements. There was the wind farm the Republic had built ontop of Old Willie’s ranch to combat the metalite demand. And a little farther to the left was Arcegus, the capital city, with the toughest bot-arena this side of the planet. Naomi scrunched up her nose, knowing full-well that she would never see her precious bots again. They would be sitting in her locker until some cocky juv from the orphanage raided it. All that work was gone…and she even thought this was the year that her team would have a shot at the championships. Spica would just have to go on without her. Maybe he could find a mechanic half as good as her, but it wasn’t likely. This was the end.

The elevator picked up speed as it finally broke through the planet’s gravitational pull. Naomi had one last look at the golden sands, sparkling under the two suns, before her vision was obscured by the clouds. “Goodbye,” she whispered, not allowing herself to cry. Only marmot-faced grumplets cry, not her. She was on her way now to the stars, lifted up by its lo-gravity. And she wasn’t coming back down until she was at least a light-year away from here. Those dunes held nothing but bones and Naomi needed to get out. She would slip her employer the moment his ship landed in the next port, start a new life there. It wouldn’t be such a backwater kipslip that it didn’t even have a decent bot-arena, would it? Eyes and ears up, Naomi turned from the window, searching for the next best move.

The two guards were still there, watching her. Thankfully, they had released Naomi’s biceps but kept her in-range of their stun-rays. One of the guards, the light-haired one, had his weapon trained on her, concealed under the cap which rested on his knees. The other guard was holding a newsfeed card, pretending to scan the headlines while keeping the other eye on her. Naomi shivered, but was grateful that the presence of the other passengers kept the guards from keeping her stunned for the entire trip. She could see some curious faces peer up at her from wrist-coms long enough to register that she was wearing plasti-cuffs and for good reason. They didn’t want to get involved with a dangerous war-crimnal. No, no. Just let the Republic do its job and let me do mine. And so the inquisitive faces looked down again at their screens, tapping away at the latest feeds and vids, snuggling down in their seats, holding their children closer, and not once speaking aloud.

So much for any help, Naomi thought, but she didn’t need them anymore. Any outburst from me and I’ll die in a Republic lock-up before I get anywhere near a courtroom. No, better to pretend to comply for now.

Naomi took a last glance out the window and sat in one of the red plush seats. They had been specially designed to reduce the impact of the journey on the human skeletal system after some blither-wad’s bones all cracked when he had been riding on The Gate. Since then, it had been safety-reg to sit in those chairs and Naomi could see why the Republic actually passed this regulation. These seats were bliss-tastic!

Naomi stretched out her arms. They still ached from where those goons had grabbed her. She looked over at them and met their eyes which were staring intensely at her as if they were x-raying her body. Doofus One and Doofus Two, she decided to call them, chuckling at the thought that if those were their actual names. Doofus Two’s finger seemed awfully twitchy, as if daring her to act up. She knew he wouldn’t think twice about it: much easier to carry a limp prisoner than one that would kick you in the shins at the first opportunity. Cautiously, Naomi flexed her ankle, as if winding up for that kick. Doofus Two’s eyes narrowed in on the movement and he shifted slightly for a better shot. But Doofus One must not be as ill-brained as his name implied. He shot a 400 volt glance at his partner which said: What are you doing, stupid? Do you want to send the elevator back down? Now, behave!

Naomi knew these guards didn’t have any real authority to shoot her. They were Gate guards for crying to Rathenia! They were in charge of making sure every crate and barrel made it to the correct address, not the passengers themselves! But any shots fired, regardless of the legality of the shooter, could make the mag-lifters malfunction and sent the elevator back down. It didn’t take someone of Naomi’s tech-knowledge to figure that one out.

The mag-lifters had stopped and it took a while for Naomi to realize the silence. Stewardesses had appeared from the automatic doors and were addressing the passengers of the terminals for the major starship companies. The people stretched out their bones, none of which had snapped, as the elevator had its artificial gravity set to just a little bit weak than that on the planet’s surface. They took their small children and pets and hurried out, probably rushing off to seize the best seats on their next flight. Soon, Naomi was alone with the Doofuses.

“Well, come on then,” said Doofus One, folding the newsfeed card back into his pocket.

Doofus Two shoved his cap back on his head and underlined Doofus One’s request with a jerk of his stun-ray.

Naomi had no choice but to exit the space elevator and entered into the spaceport beyond. To say it was a lively place would be quite the understatement. Everywhere she looked, Naomi could see people. People loading cargo. People running with luggage. People waiting in line for caffeine tablets. People selling “One-way Tickets to Paradise, Only Fifty-Ten Roundels!”. People boarding ships. People going this way and that like a spilt can of lima-beans.

But the Doofuses pressed her on, past the pleasure ships to the Costello Cluster and the shuttles to New Radice. There must have been thirty ship bays, all around the outer ring of the port, but Doofus One did not stop infront of any of them.
“White ship, solar ship, sailing through the sky. Happy ship, happy ship, fly, fly, fly,” Naomi hummed a few bars of the nursery rhyme, but not loud enough to give Doofus Two an excuse to stab her in the back with his stun-ray.
Finally Doofus One came to a halt in front of the grandest ship in the port. Gleaming white, it was almost too bright to look at. Naomi gave it a quick run-down. It looked larger enough to hold maybe two hundred crew members. It had six Maxillion thrusters and a solar sail folded up safely on either side. Dual-capacitors and a wide-angle bridge.
Whoever had hired her was clearly loaded. Maybe this wasn’t going to be the worst facupting day in the history of man.

A figure walked down the gangway, his polished boots squealing on the rubber tiles. He was old, but not Old Willie old. He had a great white moustache that curled over his mouth like albino snake. The man’s chest was puffed out over his britches and had scarlet stripes down the arm of his coat black coat. He stopped at the end of the gangway, and the Doofuses responded with a snappy salute. Doofus Two fumbled as he tried to stuff the stun-ray back in its holster and keep a hold on Naomi while saluting at the same time. The man smiled. But to Naomi, it looked more like a frown.
“Naomi R. Jenkins, how do you do?” the man’s voice was full of authority, more suited to commands than pleasantries. “I am Ladon Wright, captain of the RSS Seren. It’s a pleasure to have you on board."



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