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Fabula Imperium (Story of Power)

Author's note: This is an idea that I've been kicking around for a while. I hope you get a few laughs out of it, at least.
Author's note: This is an idea that I've been kicking around for a while. I hope you get a few laughs out of it, at least.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 4 5 6 7 8 9 ... 22 Next »


Arma (Chapter 5)
The room beyond the door made the lab seem tiny. Arcus didn’t know what he had expected, but it hadn’t been something on this scale. The dome-shaped structure seemed to stretch on forever. There were short metal walls arranged in lanes going to the back wall. There were targets at the end of each lane, basically a human torso with a bullseye painted onto it plus a head on top. The targets got closer the further to the right you walked. “How much time did it take to build
Warning: Short chapter this time.
this?” Arcus breathed. “Two hundred thirty six days, thirteen hours, six minutes and about fifteen seconds,” said a familiar voice from behind them. Arcus spun around. Mark Callidus was standing behind them. “Sleep well?” he asked, amused. Arcus looked back in wonder at the spectacle. “Why would you need something like this in a lab?” he asked. Callidus cleared his throat. “Well, apparently I’m the best scientist in my field of study, according to my record.” He coughed. “Best twenty bucks I ever spent. Anyway, let’s just say the government had me testing… experimental weaponry and leave it at that,” he said with a gleam in his eye. He snapped his fingers. “That reminds me. I have a project I’m working on, so I must be off. Annie over there has some answers for you.” Callidus walked back to the lab. The sound of the door echoed in the large space, which was ironic in light of what was to come next. Arcus, Leo and Shadix walked over to Annie. She was in front of one of the lanes, and seemed to be concentrating on her fist. Her back was to Arcus. He started to go up to her, but Leo put his hand on Arcus’ shoulder and shook his head. “Just watch,” he whispered quietly. Leo and Shadix shielded their ears with their hands. Arcus decided to follow their example. That’s when it happened. Annie lifted her fist into the air, still concentrating, and brought it down with all the force she could muster on the steel floor. Even though he was covering his ears, it was the loudest thing Arcus had ever heard in his life. A solid ripple of pure sound ricocheted across the walls and smashed into the target. Arcus thought it would be obliterated, but it seemed to be fine. The thing was, it didn’t sound like a high pitched whine, or a deep reverberating note. It sounded like the world’s loudest metal guitar chord. Arcus tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace since his ears hurt so badly. Figures, He thought. Annie turned around. “Hey guys!” she said, ever cheerful. There was a flurry of elbowing in the group. Arcus realized what he had noticed about Annie’s voice before. “Are you not deaf anymore? You talk quieter,” he said. Annie shrugged. “Guess not. It’s probably a side effect,” she said. “So, your power is sound then,” Arcus ventured. “Yep,” she confirmed. “I didn’t notice it yesterday, with power-hungry psychopaths trying to recruit us and everything, but when I woke up today I could hear stuff that I never could before. Plus, my music doesn’t seem to be loud enough anymore,” she complained. “Anytime I turn it up, it stays the same.” Arcus looked thoughtful. “You know, your power probably regulates it to the loudest it can get within the zone that’s safe for the human ear,” Arcus suggested dryly. Annie shrugged. Arcus clapped his hands. “Well! That’s number one on our to-do list down. We know what all our powers are.” Arcus’ eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “Number three is ongoing, of course. Now we just have to find some Mobius shards…”
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 4 5 6 7 8 9 ... 22 Next »

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This book has 37 comments. Post your own now!

PenOnParchment said...
Jul. 17, 2014 at 3:31 am
It's a cool story, and definitely something i could see myself buying and reading! The characters are interesting-especially some of their names!- and so's the storyline. I really loved the summary too, it definitely was inspired!
guardianofthestars This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:35 am
A very capturing story line is going on that reminds me or X-men or something. Very good. I wanted to know more.
. said...
Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:02 am
If your story's not going through here, there's a teen writing site called Figment where you can post books without delay. It's pretty cool and there's lots of people offering feedback there.
Crunchman99 replied...
Jan. 7, 2013 at 4:59 pm
Thanks for the advice, I might have to try that. The thing is, I've halted posting for a while because I want some feedback on Aegis Infernum first. For everyone else; it's on my page, and I would like to know if you want to see that first, or the ending of this one first.
Crunchman99 said...
Dec. 31, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Okay, about not posting anything in the last month... Well, TeenInk is kind of screwing me here. I've posted something completely new, but they won't validate it, either on purpose or by some fluke. Something is coming; don't worry. It might just take a while to get there.
IMSteel said...
Dec. 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm
I like the original names, the and the story.  It was pretty well written, the dialogue needs a little work, it's somewhat abrubt and not very believable.  The notes that yout put in the story I kind of don't like, if you use notes, you should have some kind of a sybole beside the parragraph, and then at the bottom of the page, write the notes.  Otherwise a fine book. 
MayaS. said...
Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:01 pm
Chapters 20-21: I feel guilty about the comment-per-chapter wall spam I've been doing, so I'll start lumping chapters together. These chapters were really suspenseful and the point-of-view changing was fluid and well-written. It was a tad confusing what Arcus does in Chapter 21 when he's down (uses his electric powers to melt the bullet in midair, causing the molten metal?) Sorry again about the comment clutter
CammyS said...
Nov. 25, 2012 at 7:48 am
I really liked it, even though it didn't really, in my opinion, have a proper ending. Are there more than 19 chapters? I don't ever really know what's up with Milla. What is her power? And  I could tell that your Leo was exactly the same as the one in Percy Jackson. His character is identical, as well as his name and backstory. Good story- tell me when there is more!
Crunchman99 replied...
Nov. 25, 2012 at 9:40 am
That's funny, I never even thought about Leo being that similar. Now that you point it out, they're basically carbon copies of each other. It must've been my subconscious or something. Of course there are more chapters, but writing has been put on hold for the moment. You know... Halo 4 and some other stuff :)
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 3:46 pm
Chapter 19: Aw so mysterius! I have many questions, which was the intent of this chapter, but my only techincal-writing question is, does Arcus speak Latin? I'm sorry to say I don't know what he's quoting... I can't wait for more of this story!
Crunchman99 replied...
Dec. 17, 2012 at 10:03 pm
Okay, seriously, when is TeenInk going to validate my new submission already?! Sorry for the delay, expect something totally new coming soon. Well, hopefully soon. It's been like a week, maybe two.
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Chapter 18 (or 19) Praeteritus Fulgur: Oh snap. You must keep these cool powers coming!! "Percy and Jason...."  *chuckles* good show.
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:55 pm
Chapter 17: Compared to the rest, Mila's portrait seemed just a tad underdeveloped. I think it would be cool for her to practice with her powers like Annie, Shadix, and Leo were doing. Has she ever seen the ocean? (That was kind of random but it might make for an interesting flashback-character-development-thingy)
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:49 pm
Chapter 16: My question for this chapter is, why was Leo bullied? He's so nice.... Once again, the last line!!! I love the running joke.
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Chapter 15: Shadix is definately relatable. I'm just wondering...why is his power over shadows, and why is he goth? Also I laughed on the last line.
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Chapter 14: this was a pretty sweet change in perspective, and definately the best chapter so far. Annie has just about every teenager's dream power- actual air guitar. But I liked how you took that and the scene evolved into a reflection about her family to the violin to the birds to her friends. The last line, "hoping against hope," was kind of cliche but that was miniscule.
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Chapter 13: Do you think that if Arcus were to go out and about, he would put on a disguise? That might be pretty funny. I liked this chapter, especially the descriptions of skyscrapers. I'm starting to wonder why the bad guys have been so quiet. Too quiet....
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 1:27 pm
Chapter 12: Sidus Bellum. Heh...
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 1:26 pm
Sorry, that one was for Chapter 11.
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Chapter 10: This chapter was a nice change of pace; and the vivid descriptions of their powers made a nice movie in my head

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