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Fabula Imperium (Story of Power)

Author's note: This is an idea that I've been kicking around for a while. I hope you get a few laughs out of it, at least.
Author's note: This is an idea that I've been kicking around for a while. I hope you get a few laughs out of it, at least.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 19 20 21 22 Next »

Obtorqueo (Chapter 21)

(Chapter 21)
A piece of concrete shattered inches from Arcus’ chest. He whipped around, trying to see where the shot had come from.

Echo leader cursed under his breath, and pulled the lever on his rifle. An empty shell was ejected from the weapon, and he loaded another into the chamber.

At the edges of his hearing, Arcus heard a harsh whistling sound. He experienced that strange feeling of time slowing, and saw the moonlight glinting off the small, pointed copper projectile coming straight at him. He dove out of the way just before it would have penetrated his skull. He pushed himself off the ground, and dusted himself off. He thought for a second. Apparently, his reflexes were still as fast as ever. It was just everyone else who slowed down. He started running. He threw his hover-disc and jumped on.

The Echo leader would have been amazed if he hadn’t seen this type of thing before. “Freaks,” he muttered. Blacklight was on the verge of assigning a ‘freak’ to each of the most important squads. The Echo leader was entirely against that idea. Nobody in Blacklight completely trusted the ‘freaks’ anyway, and they were simply forced to work together. However, despite not being human, they were exceptionally good in combat. Even the Echo leader had to admire their skill. He readjusted the rifle on his shoulder, and took aim again. He pulled the trigger.
As he was zipping through the streets, Arcus felt something bite deeply (and painfully) into the back of his leg. He immediately lost his balance and fell onto the street, rolling. As his leg was jarred over and over again, Arcus had to bite his lip until he tasted blood not to cry out. He came to a stop. He was breathing heavily, and had black spots in his vision. His electro-vision seemed to activate whenever he was injured, and he could see power circulating through a street lamp about seven feet away. He pulled himself toward it. He gritted his teeth as his leg dragged on the rugged asphalt. He gasped as he heard the harsh whistling sound again. He rolled onto his back. He shifted his position, and put his hand out in front of him. He waited for a split second, and swiped his hand to the left. A flash of light stung his eyes, and he immediately gasped in pain. The black dots in his vision grew bigger. He looked to his chest, half expecting to see a bullet hole, but something caught his eye. He looked to the left. Molten copper was scattered across the street, and it made a soft sputtering sound as it came in contact with the asphalt. He didn’t think he could muster the strength to do something like that again.

“Come ON already. This guy just won’t give up,” The Echo leader grumbled. He ejected the cartridge and loaded another one. He glanced down to a dark green box next to his feet. “I’m gonna run out of ammo at this rate,” he muttered.

Arcus felt his consciousness fading, and held on to it for dear life. He was coherent enough to hear faint running footsteps off to his right. They were slowly getting louder. His sixth sense was warning him about something. He could guess what it was, and he didn’t have the strength to stop it. He was seriously getting sick of the whole time slowdown. The footsteps off to his right were now almost next to him. He wondered who it could be. He heard that harsh whistling sound again, and waited.
The last thing he heard was a symphony of small pinging sounds before blacking out.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 19 20 21 22 Next »

Join the Discussion

This book has 37 comments. Post your own now!

PenOnParchment said...
Jul. 17, 2014 at 3:31 am
It's a cool story, and definitely something i could see myself buying and reading! The characters are interesting-especially some of their names!- and so's the storyline. I really loved the summary too, it definitely was inspired!
guardianofthestars This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:35 am
A very capturing story line is going on that reminds me or X-men or something. Very good. I wanted to know more.
. said...
Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:02 am
If your story's not going through here, there's a teen writing site called Figment where you can post books without delay. It's pretty cool and there's lots of people offering feedback there.
Crunchman99 replied...
Jan. 7, 2013 at 4:59 pm
Thanks for the advice, I might have to try that. The thing is, I've halted posting for a while because I want some feedback on Aegis Infernum first. For everyone else; it's on my page, and I would like to know if you want to see that first, or the ending of this one first.
Crunchman99 said...
Dec. 31, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Okay, about not posting anything in the last month... Well, TeenInk is kind of screwing me here. I've posted something completely new, but they won't validate it, either on purpose or by some fluke. Something is coming; don't worry. It might just take a while to get there.
IMSteel said...
Dec. 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm
I like the original names, the and the story.  It was pretty well written, the dialogue needs a little work, it's somewhat abrubt and not very believable.  The notes that yout put in the story I kind of don't like, if you use notes, you should have some kind of a sybole beside the parragraph, and then at the bottom of the page, write the notes.  Otherwise a fine book. 
MayaS. said...
Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:01 pm
Chapters 20-21: I feel guilty about the comment-per-chapter wall spam I've been doing, so I'll start lumping chapters together. These chapters were really suspenseful and the point-of-view changing was fluid and well-written. It was a tad confusing what Arcus does in Chapter 21 when he's down (uses his electric powers to melt the bullet in midair, causing the molten metal?) Sorry again about the comment clutter
CammyS said...
Nov. 25, 2012 at 7:48 am
I really liked it, even though it didn't really, in my opinion, have a proper ending. Are there more than 19 chapters? I don't ever really know what's up with Milla. What is her power? And  I could tell that your Leo was exactly the same as the one in Percy Jackson. His character is identical, as well as his name and backstory. Good story- tell me when there is more!
Crunchman99 replied...
Nov. 25, 2012 at 9:40 am
That's funny, I never even thought about Leo being that similar. Now that you point it out, they're basically carbon copies of each other. It must've been my subconscious or something. Of course there are more chapters, but writing has been put on hold for the moment. You know... Halo 4 and some other stuff :)
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 3:46 pm
Chapter 19: Aw so mysterius! I have many questions, which was the intent of this chapter, but my only techincal-writing question is, does Arcus speak Latin? I'm sorry to say I don't know what he's quoting... I can't wait for more of this story!
Crunchman99 replied...
Dec. 17, 2012 at 10:03 pm
Okay, seriously, when is TeenInk going to validate my new submission already?! Sorry for the delay, expect something totally new coming soon. Well, hopefully soon. It's been like a week, maybe two.
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Chapter 18 (or 19) Praeteritus Fulgur: Oh snap. You must keep these cool powers coming!! "Percy and Jason...."  *chuckles* good show.
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:55 pm
Chapter 17: Compared to the rest, Mila's portrait seemed just a tad underdeveloped. I think it would be cool for her to practice with her powers like Annie, Shadix, and Leo were doing. Has she ever seen the ocean? (That was kind of random but it might make for an interesting flashback-character-development-thingy)
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:49 pm
Chapter 16: My question for this chapter is, why was Leo bullied? He's so nice.... Once again, the last line!!! I love the running joke.
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Chapter 15: Shadix is definately relatable. I'm just wondering...why is his power over shadows, and why is he goth? Also I laughed on the last line.
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Chapter 14: this was a pretty sweet change in perspective, and definately the best chapter so far. Annie has just about every teenager's dream power- actual air guitar. But I liked how you took that and the scene evolved into a reflection about her family to the violin to the birds to her friends. The last line, "hoping against hope," was kind of cliche but that was miniscule.
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Chapter 13: Do you think that if Arcus were to go out and about, he would put on a disguise? That might be pretty funny. I liked this chapter, especially the descriptions of skyscrapers. I'm starting to wonder why the bad guys have been so quiet. Too quiet....
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 1:27 pm
Chapter 12: Sidus Bellum. Heh...
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 1:26 pm
Sorry, that one was for Chapter 11.
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Chapter 10: This chapter was a nice change of pace; and the vivid descriptions of their powers made a nice movie in my head

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