Absent love

"Ember help me please," Beth pleaded. Eyes dark, rimmed with purple. Chains welded to the wall held her weight up, she sat on her knees, head tilted down, hair shielding her quivering lips from me. She wore the dress she had on at my ceremony, but holes were burned through most of the fabric, ripped down the leg and dirt mixed with blood stained her clothes... I prayed to God that wasn't her blood.

Her body was weakly trying to straighten up, as she looked straight at me. "Help me Ember, He doesn't want me, he wants you. He is going to mix my soul with part demon. Ember I don't want to be a monster please!" She bawled, well she tried. No tears fell, just a sort of choking noise bubbled out of her and her body slacked back down.

I wanted to run to her and rip those chains off her with my bare hands, I want to tear Rubin a part limb by limb, but no matter what I wanted my body wouldn't move. I tried to scream to Beth that I would find her but no sound came out. I could do nothing. Panic, fear and fury burned my heart as she faded away into nothingness.

"Beth!" I screamed. My body bolted straight up, ripping my sweat soaked body from Graves grasp. I heaved over the edge of the bed, but nothing came up. My heart raced, and Graves leaned over to me, worry plastered all over his beautiful face. Even in the darkness of our light deflective shades, I could see his eyes watching me, terrified I would go demon on him and fly away to find Beth. I know he thought about that quite often lately.

"Ember love what's wrong?" He asked. His arms wrapped around me, and pulled me against his chest. My body had no energy to fight back, because even though I was panicked Graves touch always brought some comfort to me. I buried my face in his chest and screamed. Over and over again, till my throat felt like sandpaper and I sounded like a dying mouse. Graves didn't keep trying to ask me what was wrong or even talk. He just held me, his comforting hands running through my hair, and rocked me against him.

His shirt felt damp under my cheek as I realized it was from the tears streaming down my face I had no knowledge of.
- Eyes dark, rimmed with purple.-
I flinched and held onto him tighter willing those eyes to fade away, those tortured eyes...
He was torturing Beth.

"I am going to the village of the forbidden sister," I blurted.
Graves body tensed against me, and his grip on my waste tightened. If I wasn't immortal it would have hurt like hell. Fortunately I am.

"Why?" He hissed out through his clenched teeth. His anger seeped through his walls he had thrown up between our emotion link and I turned to look at him.

"Because you said so yourself, they are only ones who teach dark magic, and they can identify it. This may be my last chance at finding Beth. I dream of her every night, nightmares, maybe glimpses of the future but either way she is getting closer and closer to dying," I hesitated, scared to continue but I explained my dream to him in horrible detail.

" This one was worse. He had beaten her! She said he is going to turn her part demon."
Graves growled low, and held tighter onto me. He didn't speak, just held me closed and slowed his angered breathes. I snuggled up against him to comfort him... And myself.

"I know you don't want me going near your great grandmother but Graves I can't keep doing this. Every day feels like a blink of an eye with no results. I have to find her. You've seen my demon rising more lately and I haven't fed in weeks, and I won't till I find her," I pleaded for him to understand, to feel my pain and let me find my way out. The damage this was doing to me was permanent. He stared into my eyes, searching for something maybe, maybe even just looking.

I stared back wishing I could stop my pain for one night and give him everything he has been longing for for the past weeks. I hated the distances I was putting between us but my emotions were going haywire and all I wanted was Beth. Graves sighed and laid back on the bed, his hands ran down his face as if they could wipe away all his worry and grief. "Okay Go," He muttered.

Guilt tugged at me because he was hurt but I needed my friend."Thank you."
He looked over at me the suddenly he was on top of me. His body weight pressed on mine. This is when I knew something was terribly wrong. I didn't feel the extreme hormone heat like usual or even the need to feel him everywhere. I just didn't feel at all. Graves stared into my eyes, hurt buried deep with in them. He leaned down toward me face, panicked I thought he was going to kiss me, but relief filled me when his lips merely brushed my forehead.

"I love you Ember, and if this will help you find Beth, and give your heart back to me then do as you wish but please come back to me." With that he rolled off of me, and pulled me to rest against his chest.
I should have grabbed him and kissed him passionately, I should have assured him I loved him too but I didn't."I will come back Graves, but I want you to know. I didn't ever take my heart away from you. I think it died," I whispered.

I wish I could tell him more, anything different but that was the truth. How do you tell a man you love him when all feeling of love is absent?
You can't.