The Way I Loved You
Author's note: I am really proud of this novel. One of my best friends inspired me and helped me to write this.... Show full author's note »
The Worst Sister EverI was so mad, I was shaking. How dare she. How dare she watch us?
Rebecca started running towards the house. I lunged after her.
“No! Rebecca, stop! Come back!” I tried to be nice. She didn’t listen. I sped up desperately, shouting at her. I was a faster runner than she was, and I was sprinting as fast as I could possibly go. Soon I had almost caught up to her, but I could barely speak between each breath. I reached out and grabbed her arm as I ran.
“Stop!” she said as she laughed. “Stop, you poopy-head!”
“Don’t tell!” I wasn’t smiling.
“Get off!” She stopped and tried to pull my hand off of her arm, and I used the time to grab her with my other hand. “Marcy, you meanie, let go.”
“Please, Rebecca, don’t tell them. Don’t tell anyone,” I begged as Nick caught up to us. I was getting mad. Suddenly she wrenched her arm out of my grip and sped into the house. Nick looked horrified.
“No!” I yelled, but it was too late. I went barging through the door just as she was shouting to everyone.
“Marcy and Nick were kissing!”
I froze in my steps. Nick came in slowly behind me. Daddy stood up and I could already see him sizing Nick up as if he hasn’t known him for years. He opened his mouth.
“Daddy, please,” I spoke before I knew that the words were there. “Let me explain, somewhere else?”
He nodded and took me and Rebecca by the shoulders and led us upstairs into his and Momma’s room. Momma followed us up nervously.
Daddy sat down on the bed and looked at us sternly.
“Now I want to know exactly what happened out there,” he said. Rebecca opened her mouth faster.
“Daddy, I was just walking and I saw them on the fence—”
“HEY!” I raised my voice above hers. “Daddy, I think I should be the one telling this?”
“Ok,” he sighed. “Get started.”
“No, Daddy, because now she’s gonna make it seem better than it is! That’s not fair!” Rebecca cried. Daddy ignored her. I opened my mouth.
“I was feeding the horses and Nick was outside too, and we sat on the fence and he gave me a birthday present,” I showed him the horse hanging around my neck and then continued, “and then we stood there and I guess we kissed, but it was little, Daddy, and not a big one or anything, and then Rebecca was hiding in the woods and she watched the whole conversation and then she ran in to get us in trouble!”
“Rebecca, did you watch them the whole time?”
“So you can tell me if Marcy’s story is right.” Rebecca stared at him.
“Well, for one thing it was not a small kiss, they were really doing it, and for a while, and also I was not hiding, I was just standing there! And plus, Marcy is way too young for boys. You said so yourself.”
“Daddy it is impossible to kiss small, please, it wasn’t like they do in movies, I promise. And I know you think I’m too young, but if I love someone then I love someone, and I guess I wasn’t really remembering every little thing that you’ve ever told me when it happened so I’m sorry for that but please try to understand that I was twelve years old when you last told me not to get involved with boys!”
I was out of breath, but that seemed okay, because Daddy was still considering what I had just said. There was a tense silence.
“Marcy, we’ll talk about this more tomorrow,” he finally said. “We have company downstairs. Both of you can bring in the horses in the field before the pizza gets here.”
We didn’t look at anybody on the way out, especially each other. Now that I knew that I was out of immediate danger of unrighteous punishment, I could feel my fury towards Rebecca building inside of me and it took every ounce of my concentration to keep it in check.
Rebecca could sense my coldness towards her, and as we were bringing Rebel and Optimus in she reached over and gave me a one-armed hug, saying “I’m sorry, buddy.” When I didn’t respond, she waited until the two horses were in their stalls before turning to me. She gave me another hug, burying her face in my chest. Then she stood up with her baby face on. She uses it when she’s trying to be cute which never works at all.
“What was it like? Kissing?”
That. Was. It. How dare she. How dare she ask me that! On top of everything else she had ever done, it was too much. I exploded.
“Why would I tell you?” I demanded. “Apparently it’s horrible to be kissing someone, so why would you want to know what it’s like? You just told the whole house and our guests that I had been kissing, so obviously you expected I would get in trouble! So why would I tell you about it?”
“Mee mee mee-mee,” she said back coldly in a mocking tone.
“Stop doing that!”
“Alright, alright, let’s just go get the horses,” she said calmly and put her arm around me to go walking out. I yanked myself away and she gave me a hurt look. I just looked at her, and she quickly made her face into a cruel, exaggerated version of mine.
“What is it with you?” I yelled at her. “One minute you hate me, and the next you’re acting all cute around me! You act like a brat and then the next second you think it’s ridiculous that anyone should be mad at you!”
“Well do you want me to hate you?” she asked.
“I’m not saying you have to hate me, and you know that. I’m saying that if you’re going to pull a stunt like watching me secretly and then telling everyone about what I did, you can’t expect me to pretend it never happened!”
“Marcy, stop.” She had her baby face on again. “Just, pretend it never happened. Ok? I’m sorry that I did that.”
I stormed out of the barn and towards the field to bring another horse in.
“Marcy, please!” She was about to cry. “You’re always so mean to me, and I do nothing! And you never get mad at Scott! I’m your sister too!”
“I know,” I said through clenched teeth.
“Then start acting like it! You don’t love me.”
“Rebecca. I do love you. That doesn’t mean that what you do doesn’t matter to me. You did something very annoying and rude. Just because I love you doesn’t mean that you can get away with it.”
“But—but—but,” she was taking in great gulps of air. “But you nev—never act this way with Sco—Scott!” It’s impossible to reason with her when she’s crying like this. She almost makes herself throw up with how weird she’s making her body act.
“Yes,” I said loudly to be heard over her hysterics. “But he doesn’t spy on me, does he?”
“I—I—I—I wasn’t spy—spy—spying!” she howled. By this time I was already leading in Blue Man, and soon she was at my side with Macao. “You—you—you hate me.”
“How many times do you want me to say it, Rebecca,” I was losing the tiny bit of patience I had quickly scraped up, and fast. “I don’t hate you, but that doesn’t mean I’m not mad at you. And don’t say a word about Scott,” I added as I saw her mouth open. “He is not part of this conversation.”
“Girls. What is going on?” Daddy was in the barn waiting for us. He saw Rebecca’s face and I saw a flash of exasperation in his eyes, but then it was gone. “Put the horses away and—for goodness sakes, Rebecca, calm down or you’re going to throw up!”
We put them in their stalls and I hurried inside before anyone could say anything to me. Nick was on the couch, talking with his mom, and Tally and Jay were helping to set the table. Scott came up to me as soon as I walked in.
“What’s wrong with Rebecca?” he asked. I realized that everyone was probably able to hear Rebecca from in the barn. I decided that it was better for all of us if he didn’t know too much about that.
“Nothing,” I told him, and indeed it seemed like nothing when Rebecca walked in not a minute later acting like everything was normal. The doorbell rang and soon everyone was eating pizza and for a few minutes at a time, when someone said something funny, it seemed like the night was normal. But then the laughter would die down and everyone would look a little embarrassed. Nick and I found that we could look at each other normally because we were so busy worrying about Rebecca seeing us that it distracted us from what she had seen us doing.
We got up from the table early, and went into my bedroom. My bedroom is blue, green, and purple. It faces the front of the house where I can see the barn and the fields. My bed doubles as a couch with the headboard equipped with sliding cushions so you could lean against it when you were using the bed as a couch. We sat there, listening to the rain pound steadily on the roof.
“So,” Nick started. “What happened with Rebecca?” I glanced at the door, and then got up and opened it to make sure no one was listening. I closed it and sat back down.
“She acted like she usually does with situations like these,” I responded. “She asked me what it felt like.”
“Did you tell her?” Nick asked in disgust.
“No! Of course not. And then I told her that and she started freaking out.”
“I heard.” Nick sighed. “What’s it like, having a sister like that?”
“Well, she’s super sensitive. Like, if I say something and then Scott or Jay say ‘yeah’ in agreement, she runs upstairs crying because we’re ganging up on her. And she doesn’t understand why she should get in trouble. You know the term ‘angel-devil’? That’s her. One minute she acts like a little kid who couldn’t harm a fly, the next she’s being a brat whose main goal is to beat up on someone. Mainly Scott.”
“But… You don’t let her…” Nick said uncertainly.
“No, I don’t. But see, then I get in trouble for being mean and ganging up on her because when I stand up for him he says something like ‘yeah’ or if—no, when she makes a face or mocks me or does something else rude he’ll get angry at her. And then, of course, she’ll run upstairs sobbing or start giving him a ‘talk’ in which she slowly starts to cry while she goes on and on about him not loving her. In which I step in and say that it’s not doing any good, and then she starts doing it to me, and yada yada.”
“That’s harsh,” Nick said sympathetically. “Tally’s nothing like that.”
We looked out the window and into the pouring rain. The wind was blowing the trees around and making the house creak.
“You’re going to have to walk home in that?’ I asked incredulously.
“Yes,” Nick replied. “But it’s not really that far.”
I looked over at him worriedly. It was really dark outside, and with the rain and the wind it would be nothing short of miserable on the way to his house. Indeed, Nick himself looked a little nervous.
“Nick?” It was Mrs. Harper.
“I’m coming, Mom!” he yelled. We ran downstairs and saw Mrs. Harper smiling. “Mr. Evans has offered to drive us home. What do you say?”
“Thank you, sir,” Nick was smiling too. Tally hugged me and said happy birthday again, and Nick and I smiled and gave a little hug. Then they were out the door into the rain and Momma shut the door quick.
“Bed,” she said, and there was the usual grumbling from Scott as we headed up the stairs. I was so emotionally exhausted that the moment I entered my room I collapsed onto the bed. Momma’s not going to approve, I thought, but before I could even consider getting up, my eyelids closed and I was asleep.